david.dakota Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 N = C + {fb (cm) . fb (tc)} + fb (Ts) + fc . ta Science gone mad. The above is a mathematical formula for creating the perfect bacon roll. Scientists at Leeds University have 'discovered' that the recipe for the perfect bacon roll is down to thr crispiness of the bacon. D'oh, a no brainer there. Given that any science requires investment of sorts (time, financial), surely there are better ways of spending that - perhaps creating a mathematical formula for reducing power consumption when grilling the bacon? For handiness i've included the full formula below (for next time your planning to make a bacon roll). The formula is: N = C + {fb (cm) . fb (tc)} + fb (Ts) + fc . ta, where N=force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon, fb=function of the bacon type, fc=function of the condiment/filling effect, Ts=serving temperature, tc=cooking time, ta=time or duration of application of condiment/filling, cm=cooking method, C=Newtons required to break uncooked bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 What's the point? Do something useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owario Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Why, out of all the food that could have been perfected, did they choose a bacon roll? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCK Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 So to find the result of this formula you need to break the bacon roll beforehand and see how many force it cost? So to see how much it takes to break the bacon roll after cooking you need to break it before cooking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 They're wrong, the perfect bacon roll is made with minimal effort. If it took several equations to get it ready, it wouldn't be enjoyable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 They're wrong, the perfect bacon roll is made with minimal effort. If it took several equations to get it ready, it wouldn't be enjoyable. So basically the best one is one made by someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowV7 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I had a bacon roll this morning and it was lovely(HP sauce I tell you) Why a stupid formula that the time you work everything out,the time spent doing it,it will already be made. Madness,wait till I tell my physics teacher this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmo Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 So, the people at Leeds University spend their time making this bollocks, while AIDS and cancer kills millions of people. Well done, lads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4q2 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 So basically the best one is one made by someone else. Food always tastes better to me if I dont have to get up off my arse to cook it so cant fault that theory. So, the people at Leeds University spend their time making this bollocks, while AIDS and cancer kills millions of people. Well done, lads. I dunno....we are talking about perfect bacon here.... The world could be getting hit by a doomsday scenario meteorite and I would not let it wreck my bacon buttie breakfast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Chris Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 The bacon sarny also must include lincolnshire sausages and Branston Pickles Brown Sauce. From a scientists point of view that formula is not only a waste of time effort and funding, but also completely useless. Like seriously, how do you measure those variable. I'm going to make one up right now, the perfect full english breakfast is made by the formula: S = a.f(x) + g(x) + h(y) + k(z) Where S is the satisfaction of eating the full English breakfast. a is a constant depending on hardness of beans. f(x) is a function of the beans to meat radio. g(x) is a function of bacon to sausage ratio, h(y) is a function of number of slices of toast. k is a function of anything i've forgotten like tomatoes,hash browns type of sauce etc. Can i have a grant now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haver Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Hot damn! Do you kids not understand academia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Hot damn! Do you kids not understand academia? Of course we do. We have wikipedia, we understand every concept with just a quick glance at two paragraphs. Academia is a collective term for the scientific and cultural community engaged in higher education and peer-reviewed research, taken as a whole. The word comes from the akademeia just outside ancient Athens, where the gymnasium was made famous by Plato as a center of learning. The sacred space, dedicated to the goddess of wisdom, Athene, had formerly been an olive grove, hence the expression "the groves of Academe". By extension Academia has come to connote the cultural accumulation of knowledge, its development and transmission across generations and its practitioners and transmitters. In the seventeenth century, English and French religious scholars popularized the term to describe certain types of institutions of higher learning. The English adopted the form academy while the French adopted the forms acadème and académie. Although after reading that, I'm not quite sure what your point was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 he means academic study as a means to itself, is kind of the point. It's how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Yeah, they always churn out this pointless stuff. They probably get paid more than people who do useful or interesting stuff though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Food is an important research topic. It has economic value too. I wouldnt be surprise if it is funded by a commercial sponsor. A lot of bollocks in academic research tends to hide behind titles that include reference to sexy diseases. I'd say about half of academic research is absolute bollocks, but you need to allow for some bollocks in order to find a penis. More bollocks in arts than sciences anyway. People that do absolute bullshit are usually self funded or nobel prize winners who have gone bonkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 To be honest, they are probably funded by bacon companies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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