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I managed to score Mario Sunshine a week before release because my local video game/DVD/shonky shop was run by a pair of muppets called Mick and Mike. Mike looked like Barry form Eastenders, he used to be a barman at my local and served me underage without batting an eye... Mick looked like Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys on steroids, and they both had nary a brain cell between them. Lovely blokes, and we got on well. Perhaps that's why they sold me the game early. The shop turned into a charity shop a few years ago, then became a second hand bookseller... I wonder what ever happened to Mick and Mike. Oh, I digress. My wife hit me the other night. To be fair, I'd called her a stupid "b". So I probably deserved it, yeah?

Don't forget the warm bath and the razorblades/plugged in toaster!

] Come on in heeeeeere...

I like re-reading my favourite books and imagining myself in a TV series adapted from the book.

And they'll be JUST AS BUGGY AND TWITCHY AS NORMAL PC GAMES?! BAZINGA! Joke, joke... Basically I can't use the 360 or the Wii any more, and I want to play Morrowind, dammit.

Question: If I create a Windows Partition on my intel i5 Mac, will I be able to play PC games as if they were on a PC?

Well put. It's pretty sad how people just turn up and make snide little comments about things other people enjoy. It's attention-seeking behaviour coupled with a need to be the "edgy outsider". Fair enough if you don't like it, but be adult enough not to take the piss out of others because they like it.

The Big Bang Theory. Some people despise it, and fair enough to them, but I absolutely love it.

Told you: Alien parasite.

So, my Wii no longer reads my Skyward Sword disc and since I updated my 360, I can't save my game preferences - inverted y-axis, difficulty or subtitles. Problem with China: all consoles are chipped and getting them fixed costs about half the price of the console. Annoying.

Happy birthday to Mr Odwin! Treat yourself to a nice new tie!

Meh. It needs to be something more exotic than that. Like... Annalisa Cuepertino. Or... Roswitha Keinschlong.

Oh, passing fair and all that. Have you picked a good name?

Well, there's a man I've not seen in a while! How's things? (Apart from the noisy neighbour sex.)

Should be! But it's an as-and-when kinda thing.

Management changes are always tough - "The King is dead, long live the King!". The more things change, the more they stay the same - even if a new manager is outwardly nicer, he or she will still be under the same volume of pressure. They might have different "buttons" that won't be obvious for a while.

During my last week at GAME I had one absolutely obnoxious guy come in, he was insistent that everywhere else in the city had the PS2 at a cheaper price and we should match it. I had actually already been out that day to do a price match comparison. When I told him this, his response was "Get out there, check it again and stop wasting my time." When I said I had no intention of doing that 15 minutes before closing time, his response was "I'm complaining to your manager, what's your name?". I just pointed to my badge and said "Here. Do you lack eyes as well as good manners?" God, retail was awful. I loved the discount on games though.

"Pics or it didn't happen." I saw my bay-by, crying hard as babe could cry, What could I do-oo-o? My baby's love had go-one - and left. my. baby. blue. NOBODY KNEW...

Do what???

Open your miiiiiind... ...three boobies.

SAAAAI-LORS, fighting in the dance hall, OH MAN! Look at those cavemen go! ....tumtitumtitum... Is there life on MAR-HAHAHARS?

What babe? What power?

1. Airplane! 2. Blazing Saddles 3. Dogma 4. Southpark, Bigger, Longer, Uncut 5. Ghostbusters 6. Austin Powers 7.Kentucky Fried Movie 8. American Pie 9. Dodgeball 10. Scary Movie

Either that or they don't know how to phrase it: scene: Interior, radiographer's booth at the hospital what where Raining goes. Technician 1: Oh Christ, this woman has an alien xenomorph... Technician 2: You're shitting me? Technician 1: No, seriously, look at the scan. Technician 2: holy ... What are you going to tell her? Technician 1: I'm not telling her, YOU'RE telling her. Technician 2: Fuck that, wait for the GP to get back. Two weeks later, the GP returns off holiday GP: Hey, what have we got here? Technician 1: Looks like an alien embryo. GP: Shit dude, did you tell her? Technician 2: Fuck no! Fuck no at all! We were waiting for your to get back, Mr Doctor... doctor Mister... YOU tell her, smart arse. GP: No way, I'm going on holiday. For four months. Again. Scene fades. ....I'm not helping, am I?