Dcubed

My Little Post-Apocalyptic World Can't Possibly Be This Cute

Considering that Nintendo are releasing a replica N64 controller? I would imagine that it has never controlled better before! That's another big win here. N64 games have never felt quite like a natural fit on any of Nintendo's post-N64 controllers (the Gamecube controller was the closest fit, but even then, it always felt like a bit of an awkward fit; especially with the c-stick replacing the c-buttons). N64 games are best played with an actual N64 controller. And on top of that? At long last, we finally have portable N64 games!

We get the NOT SHIT N64 original versions! The XBLA versions suck arse!

Japan gets a 6 button MD controller while we get the crappy 3 button controller AGAIN!!! Goddammit! They pulled the same stunt as with the MD Mini AGAIN!!

DUDE!!! BANJO KAZOOIE IS COMING TO SWITCH!!!! And it’s NOT the shitty XBLA version!!! I’ve waited so frigging long… The Bear & Bird are finally back where they belong…

Why have they recast Bayonetta!?!? I don’t understand!

Jack Black as Bowser is an AWESOME choice!

RICK INTENSIFIES!!

I just got a massive expansion IN MY PANTS!!

A pre-Direct sale you say!?

Well we’ve had a dearth of proper NDs for the last couple of years; February 2021 was when they made a return proper, and they’ve all been pretty substantial this year (especially E3; which was the best one they’ve had since 2017!). I don’t expect massive megatons, but I do expect some significant announcements. Don’t forget that we will also be getting 3rd party game announcements too… We’re actually due announcements for Resident Evil Revelations 3 (Outrage) and Ace Attorney 7 right around this time, going by the Capcom Ransomware leak, so there’s two pretty likely major announcements right there already Also this is happening right before TGS (which Nintendo doesn’t attend), so I’d expect some major 3rd party game announcements here (The recently leaked Castlevania Advance Collection will almost certainly be one of them)

Nope. Was announced for “2022” (most likely will release in Summer 2022 I reckon).

40 mins is a very meaty length for a Ninty Direct; about the same as a E3 Showcase… I would expect some pretty significant reveals here, even if they’re for games we already know about. Anyway, surprised nobody has mentioned this one, but we’ll almost certainly be seeing our first proper look at Splatoon 3 here (a “focus” on Winter 2022 releases doesn’t mean an exclusive focus on that release window).

Finally! Was getting real boring around here

The Super Metroid Randomiser has an option to generate a seed without any need for glitches or advanced movement at all. Are you sure you had those options checked/unchecked when you rolled your seed? We did that when we did our one and we were able to complete the game without the use of any glitches (In fact, IIRC, you should even be able to check/uncheck the individual glitches/advanced movement tech required the beat the seed!). As for other randomisers? The ALTTP one is very friendly to newcomers (assuming you're familiar with the original base game of course!).

So I decided to make a new thread! (I know, shock & awe!) and I want to celebrate some of the most insane "impossible" ports throughout gaming history; across all platforms. They may not necessarily be the "best" version of the game you can play today, but they're the ones that defy the laws of physics, blow your mind and make you say "how the bloody hell did they get THAT game running so well!?" So to kick things off, here's a few of my own nominations for Most Impressive Port In Gaming History... Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (3DS) This game on 3DS is nothing short of dark magick wizardry. It has absolutely no business running on 3DS at all, let alone looking almost as good as the Wii U original!! Seriously! Take a look at this!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? How many blood sacrifices did NST need to pull this insane witchcraft off!? And you know what's even MORE crazy!? The game runs in full stereoscopic 3D (doubling the rendering load!), projects the display across both screens, runs at a buttery smooth 30FPS AND IT RUNS ON BASE 3DS HARDWARE!!! (Yes! This isn't even a New3DS enhanced game! You get this insane level of performance on the same shitty 3DS you bought in 2011!). This is just bonkers!! Let's compare Captain Toad on 3DS to Super Mario 3D Land just to get an idea for how far we've come since the 3DS' launch... It legitmately looks a full generation ahead, but it's the same 2011 3DS hardware under the hood! It's such a mad achievement, that even Digital Foundry had to tip their hat to the 3DS version (and these guys HATE the 3DS hardware!) The Switch version is nice and all, but the 3DS one is just a far more impressive piece of software. Just absolutely incredible what they managed to pull off on a (then) 8 year old console! Oh hey! That game has some great graphics too BTW, but yeah... I don't wanna see that. Contra 3: The Alien Wars (Gameboy) Remember Contra 3? Remember how it blew your mind that a game of this kind of arcade-quality calibre was running on a home console back in 1991? Try running it on a B&W brick Game Boy instead! If anyone could pull off such a ridiculous feat? It was Factor 5 (yes, THAT Factor 5) who did this port... and yes it shows! The results are... remarkable! Head looks a big scrunched, but... yeah! That's Contra 3 alright! Fast paced 60FPS action that's faithful to the SNES original? Check. Parallax Scrolling and tons of enemies & bullets on screen? Check. Having that actually visible, legible and looking good on the puke green screen of the original DMG GB? You betcha! Seriously! Check this out! (Even the music is translated over shockingly well!) Bit better looking than Super Mario Land Now. Contrast this with the absolutely horrendous, complete piece of shit of a port that Contra 3 Advance was? And it only makes the DMG Gameboy port all the more impressive. God we miss you Factor 5. Virtua Fighter 2 (Sega Saturn) Picture 1995. The Sega Saturn had launched one year ago, alongside a port of Virtua Fighter 1 (originally made for the Model 1 Arcade board from 1992). The Sega Saturn version was already struggling to compete with the original Model 1 version of VF1; looking substantially worse and failing to match the smooth gameplay of the original. The difference was so stark in fact, that SEGA actually made a new version for both arcades & Saturn and gave it away for free to jilted Saturn owners who were left disappointed by how far off VF1 was from its Model 1 counterpart. Fast forward one year, and Virtua Fighter 2 had hit the arcades on the brand new, state-of-the-art, £10,000+ military-grade Model 2 arcade hardware. The Saturn had absolutely no hope of competing with the raw processing power of the Model 2 (not even the N64 did in fact! It wouldn't be until Dreamcast where consoles finally caught up with the Model 2), and now Saturn was supposed to come out with a port of VF2 that could compete!? It couldn't even stack up against VF1, let along VF2!! What hope could it possibly have!? Well... Say hello to the SEGA Saturn's best selling game of all time; and rightly so! The Saturn was a full generation behind the Model 2, and yet... SEGA AM2 somehow pulled it off! It's all here! 60FPS 3D fighting action that actually runs in a higher resolution than the arcade original! (496 x 384 vs 704x480). This is one of the single most impressive pieces of software engineering in video game history without a doubt, and it single handedly proved that the Saturn was capable of competing with the PS1 when it came to 3D fighting games. Super Monkey Ball Jr (GBA) This little miracle is a port of the original Gamecube Super Monkey Ball to the GBA. Just that sentence alone sounds completely ridiculous, but when you consider that you also have to convert a game that relied on pixel perfect analog precision to a d-pad? Well, then it just sounds absolutely impossible... but you know what they say about the impossible, right? Well I'll be a monkey's arse... Developed by British developer Software Creations Ltd; this port simply has no right being anywhere near as good as it is! It looks and plays shockingly faithfully! FAR better than you would ever expect! Sure, it's no replacement for the original game at all, but it gets far closer than you would ever think possible. The developers smartly decided to simplify the level designs and make them more forgiving to account for the d-pad controls; while also making use of some clever button modifiers to speed up/down your monkey ball. The music has also been translated over superbly well, sounding very close to the GCN original! And on top of that? They've not only translated the main game over very well, but all 6 mini games (including Monkey Target!) made the transition over too! It even has 4 player multiplayer support! (And yes, it even has Single Pak link support too!). They really cut no corners here, and delivered a shockingly good conversion! I still boot this one up from time to time and I'm always mega impressed; hell, it'll likely still be a better version of Monkey Ball 1 than the upcoming Switch remake It may be blocky... but it's definitely Super Monkey Ball! Smashing Drive (GBA) Speaking of absolutely insane Gamecube to GBA ports... check THIS shit out! This was originally an arcade game, where Namco published a variety of console ports. Obstenibly not a fantastic game by any means, but for some utterly bizzare reason, a few years later the game was ported to the GBA by Italian developer Raylight Studios (You might remember them for being responsible for the Resident Evil 2 GBA tech demo, and the GBA port of Wing Commander Prophecy). It might not be a high-end title for the Gamecube, but to see a port done this faithfully, to a handheld that was basically TWO console generations behind? Well. It's impossible to not be left with your jaw agasp at the results! Resident Evil 2 (N64) You all know this one. You knew it was coming. And you all know why it's so impressive. I don't need to delve into too much detail here, but quite frankly, the absolute mad-lads at Angel Studios managed to cram two CDs (1.4GB) worth of Resident Evil 2 into a single 64MB cartridge; with ALL of the original game and all of its content (including the audio and FMVs) fully intact. That's insane enough, but consider that this was done in 1999; this is still before the MP3 format became mainstream and WELL before any remotely modern video codecs existed. And all of this was managed on a humble N64!? Just absolutely nuts! The work done here by Angel Studios was so ridiculously good, that it actually spurred Capcom to make Resident Evil 0 for the N64 using their engine; and subsequently, a little known game called Red Dead Revolver (you may have heard of it). Not only is this one of the most impressive ports in all of gaming history, it's also one of the most important too! Without RE2 N64, the Red Dead Redemption series would not exist today; and arguably, Rockstar/Take Two as we know it today. Nice video breaking down some of the tricks that had to be pulled to pull of this Impossible Port That's your kickstart, now it's your turn. What are some Impossible Ports that you've found yourselves admiring across gaming history?

Speaking of which... Wario Ware: Get it Together has a banging soundtrack! Looking at the credits, about half of its composers (Yoshito Sekigawa, Shoh Murakami and Yoshiaki Kimura) were also lead composers on Paper Mario: The Origami King. So that explains why it's so good! Just the title screen music alone cracks me up every single time I hear it

The Skyward Sword soundtrack is FINALLY getting an official release on CD! (As a five disc set!) Only took an entire decade, but they finally got there!

Heads up. Espgaluda 2 just got stealth released onto the eShop!

Yeah, can’t imagine that it’s be anything like the original series; but I’m interested to see how it turns out

It's exclusive to the Switch OLED dock; you can't update the standard one (I've already tried lol). Can't imagine that it would be anything major, but maybe it'll end up getting some extra blinky lights or improved HDMI CECH support (I never use that though because it's garbage lol).

Pretty funny that both Nintendo and Sony decide to release a major Firmware update with major new features on the same day! Your move Microsoft!

No. Two pairs of Joycons will not work when using Bluetooth audio (each Joycon requires its own BT connection; so two pairs of Joycons would be 4x BT connections). The console simply won't allow you to connect any more controllers (a message pops up on the screen saying that a max of 2 wireless controllers can be connected while using BT audio). You can use two Pro Controllers wirelessly or two individual Joycons disconnected from the Switch. If you want to use more controllers alongside BT audio? They must be wired connections.

Yup. It's standard Bluetooth only. No APTx support. Hopefully Switch OLED (and indeed Switch 2) comes with APTx support... Edit: After a bit of experimenting, it looks like the audio quality drops when you start using wireless controllers... I noticed a significant drop in audio quality when removing the Joycons from the Switch and using them seperately... Edit 2: Seems that the drop in quality kicks in when two controllers are connected. It seems to maintain the full audio quality when using just one controller (i.e a single Joycon or a Pro Controller); but two controllers are just too much for the available bandwidth, and the audio quality gets sacrificed in response. So it seems that the Switch dynamically adjusts the Bluetooth audio bandwidth in accordance with how you use seperate controllers. Very interesting!