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The Bard

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Everything posted by The Bard

  1. Tis alright. Happens to the best of us.
  2. Well...woke up around 4 30 after a wierd dream, involving being told all the reasons I'm awesome, and then being dumped on the phone... Bit stoned, and hallucinating about talking mushroom and plumbers and stuff. Or that could be the tv csreen.
  3. When I did it, I would eat like tops 800-1000 calories a day and exercising as much as possible. The key is not to sit still for too long, because if you're inactive, your body can just shift the metabolism to enable it to cope with the lack of food you're eating, if you're moving around, the body has no choice but to keep it's metabolism up.
  4. Sounds a bit nuts. The part about sex the whole night, I mean. I would try that but my dick hurts after about a half hour. I have no stamina. So kudos! Anyway, you really should have stopped acting so desperate, if she liked you at any point, then it's a fair bet that there will be other girls that like you too. You just gotta start talking to them rather than waiting for someone to come up to you...
  5. I have you covered:
  6. It's definitely the most powerful when fully upgraded, but the Handgun has a much better critical headshot rate, which is just so damn satisfying. The Matilda is pretty cool too, even though it's a complete ammo hog . Handcannon, as far as handguns go, is clearly the best though. Anyway, started playing this recently again, loaded up my professional account, the one where I sold everything and tried to go through the game with just a knife, masochist that I am. It's been almost a year I think, I'm in the room with the two el gigante, and after I melt teh first one, I just can't do the second bastard. In fact, I don't know how I managed to beat Salazars "right hand" with just a knife either....o_0. I reckon it's safe to start using flash grenades, cause they're not offensive .
  7. You don't seem to look it... Anyway, yeah, same. Arm/ leg hair is annoying, for two reasons; there's not enough to keep me warm, and it's also reasonably noticeable, so essentially, it's redundant. Maybe I missed a step on the whole evolutionary chain...o_0 The head hair tends to get in the way the most...depends who's on top though.
  8. I got 31 on that test. Lol, looks like most of you are more depressed than me. Or...maybe it was because I actually answered the quiz honestly...or vice versa...
  9. Contra 4: 6/10. It's not that it's any worse than the other Contra games, it's that the whole series is overrated. Metal Slug 3 is infinitely better. Also, been playing Ninja Gaiden all today in anticipation for Gaiden 2. Still an absolutely killer game. Apart from the appalling camera (which they should have kept fixed rather than player controlled). 9/10.
  10. Er, um, dad..., I'm being...creative.
  11. Metroid is infinitely better. Just a much better experience. To be honest, I'm getting kinda sick jumping on blocks and collecting stars...it's a good game, but...I think I'm just getting sick of playing Mario games. If that's at all possible. Maybe. Don't hurt me.
  12. Ah, happy birthday mate . Hope it kicks all sorts of ass.
  13. Well, applied to uni for English, and definitely going next year, which will be a huge positive step, I'm sure, although it was tough to explain that I've basically just been sat on my ass. It's like killthenet says, I can't show any creative interests without being condescended to. Also; this is uncomfortable, I think it's difficult to give an accurate account at a low point, and I've probably given the wrong idea. After all "the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions." So...I'm off.
  14. I came close twice, both times when I saw mass amounts of blood, once mine, the other time, it was during an operation. Both times JD popped into my head and screamed "I mean, who the hell faints anymore, no one's fainted since the 40's." Which (just) saves me.
  15. Jesus, you have to be shitting me. And I thought I had some sort of obsession with this place. I'm on a respectable 5,799. I guess it's probably cause most of my posts are pretty long.
  16. Exactly. Why labour through the tiresome process of studying subjects that you have nothing but contempt for (here's looking at you, Geography), just because you have more ability than most people? What is that going to do for you at the end of the day? Nothing. I almost applied for medicine last year, because my parents wanted me to, and in the end I told them to fuck off, because that would have been five years of my life down the shitter. Instead, I wasted a year rotting away at home while I convince them to let me do whats best for me at uni, and ironically, while everyone else is off doing far better than I am. Why is life so much easier for the retarded kids?
  17. They're both just as good, and if you can get past the better Wii controls, you'll find that there's far more to do in the first two games aswell, and that they don't hold your hand nearly as much. Echoes is a beautiful, brilliant game, only thing that was an issue was the loading times between light and dark realms. Christ that was annoying. Otherwise, go for it bro! You got nothing to lose seeing as you can pick them up together for 12quid or so.
  18. Anal sex? Well, it's warm, tight, and more degrading for women. Never tried it though. Eww. To be honest, I'm usually more worried about the other person having a good time, because, well, I'm a guy, and if I'm having sex, then I damn sure am having a good time.
  19. I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes; I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely. Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]
  20. I got my ear pierced cause I had nothing else to do, and my mate took me with him when he got his septum done, and he could get a free piercing, which he didn't want, so I said, what the hell. Seriously. It stung like a bitch... I don't really like piercings, I mean, I can't see the appeal in people who have piercings all over their body, cause it'd just get annoying, and when you took them out, it'd just be a stupid looking hole, but I kinda like lip/tongue piercings, mostly cause they're quite unnoticeable.
  21. I got my left ear pierced, but my bastard mate tugged on it while I was passed out on his couch and left it bloody and gaping, so I just let it heal. I don't really like piercings or tattoos to be honest, and I don't think I'd ever get a tattoo, but I'm thinking of getting my lower lip pierced soon.
  22. Recognisable, even if it looks a bit pixellated... 7/10.
  23. Nay, nay, nay, a thousand times, nay. Why would you get Begin to Hope?? Get Soviet Kitsch or Songs or...anything else!! The reworking of Samson is cool though, even though the original kicks its ass. As for Bjork, I don't know, so I can't say.
  24. The day I unchained that pestering shackle you call god, and SMOTE HIS RUIN UPON THE MOUNTAINSIDE!! Yes, I've been drinking.
  25. 360. The End.
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