dwarf

You can't exactly miss the rats ring. It must be said a lot of hints you've given haven't been necessary because a lot of it is hard to miss. I hope to make use of that ring that nets you more souls soon.

I killed that guy by searching him online and then axing him in the brain. He seemed really shifty (frankly they all do, and pretty much all of them are bastards) and I could see a character down below in the big hall praying so I thought he must have something to do with them, because he appeared to serve no other purpose. The following boss maneater was much more irritating.

It looks good. Cloud Mario is a crap idea though, even if it looks pretty cool. I was displeased with the lack of Mario 64-like speed shell surfing on the water though.

I tried buying it last year to no success -I was unhappy to find it isn't on iTunes unless you buy the whole album. Fo' shame. It might've changed now though.

I thought I'd told her to stop sexually harassing people online. That sort of activity could get her banned for a month, despicable really.

Facejacker: Much better than fonejacker. Whilst that's not saying much, it was really funny, and there's a lot more hit than miss in this show. I laughed out loud with a friend multiple times, a response fonejacker never really managed. 8/10

That's probably my mum.

Day after day your home life's a wreck The powers that be just breathe down your neck You get no respect, you get no relief You gotta speak up and yell out your piece So back off your rules Back off your jive Cause I'm sick of not living To stay alive Leave me alone I'm not asking a lot I just don't want to be controlled That's all I want That's all I want That's all I want That's all I want

Bosses are actually almost always let downs. Many reasons really, ranging from them just being really underwhelming, being cheap, or too predictable and rigid (dodge main attack and hit 3 times). I actually think bosses with health bars are the way forward, but they should also require some brains if you want to beat them. The Joker was potentially a great boss in Arkham Asylum but they just dumbed him down and made him shit. If you were asked to outfox him and manoeuvre around his traps before being able to land a punch or two it would've been much more, well, realistic, but above all more fun and challenging.

This game is great. I'm not sure if I'm that prepared to go through it all again in new game plus though, the whole shard collecting and tendency changes are just slightly cumbersome. I tried to defeat the black phantom Scirvir the other day and got utterly raped by him. I tried bowing him down from range but it took quite a while, and whenever I got 80% of his HP down he would heal. I could probably kill him if I stuck with it but each time he went to heal I missed the key arrow that would prevent him from doing it. I tried beating him by going into human form, putting ring of flame resistance and the regenerator ring (because I was using the Magic Sword Makoto). I enchanted my weapon, set up my magic attack as the powerful flame eruption thing. Problem was that I missed my one use of the fire attack and so had to take him down by sword only. It was going well, the flame resistance ring was massively useful against his ranged attacks, and I managed to get him to half of his HP. Then bam, I go for a swipe and he hits me with his really powerful flame beam whilst my defence was down. Out of the game. Really annoying as he uses that move quite frequently.

I kind of knew before reading your comment that you were too sophisticated for crisp sandwiches Paj. I've only ever had one and I thought they were OK. But I prefer meat + cheese + reggae reggae sarnies. (Among other, more traditional sandwiches)

I played the game twice and thought the second playthrough was as good if not better than the first time because I knew how to romp through it at pace. That said, I didn't feel compelled to play it a third time, although that's the same with most games. It is brilliant, and I also thought the first one was brilliant. You're saying the demo for the first was terrible? Go fuck yourself. As for the multiplayer of U2... There weren't many trophies for going through it, or any perk unlocks that were better than the standard accuracy improvement one (you unlock hampering perks at the end to prove how much of a nob you are) so I didn't stick with it for too long. It is tempting with the new maps just to pick it up again, and try co-op a lot more. I can imagine the challenge of trying to win this new capture mode on hard difficulty being very enjoyable, and it helps that I'm insane anyway.

Makes me want to pick up the game again and give it another try. Trophies give it new life, I'm interested. Would have to find it fairly cheap though.

I wouldn't get your hopes up, it might be getting developed by Martians. Hence Earth dystopia artwork. It's coming!

Haven't tried Mountain Dew. Love Red Bull though, when I don't have to pay for it that is.

Old news reports are brilliant.

Tron looks better. Much better. Much Better! MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER!

He only lasted 3 games didn't he? It was when the main 2 got injured, 3rd keeper was called in... Stupid Massimo. He had a good game against Liverpool and then did that.

I've got those options open to me but I don't like upgrading faith when miracle memory doesn't increase from it. I only have 3 magic slots and 1 miracle slot right now. I'm waiting to get second chance, needs 2 slots. Then I'll get evacuate. I was going to get it right at the start but I wasn't 100% sure I retained my souls if I used the spell. I know that I do now, kind of realised when I saw the item descriptions for the stones that can teleport you back. Btw: My character still has a fairly rigid and slow animation for the shield parry when using steel/purple shields. Does that become smoother after strength increases?

Can you explain that thing you mentioned a while back about being able to do both spells and mircales with the same thing? I don't know where to find it if it is a physical thing. It seems a bit stupid that you can't do both as standard anyway, seeing as changing between them all is really hard. I've remembered 1 spell and 1 miracle and they are both shite, I don't know why I chose them - they're the cloak and regeneration ones.

Apart from the black boots I dumped all of it :S Ah well. I knew it would come in handy somewhere with that poison resistance but then again the damage stats weren't quite as good as the standard armour. Found some flute leggings but it made the roll animation laughable.

That's a good point lol. In the heat of the moment it didn't cross my mind

I had an enjoyable moment just before that too:

I was in the prison level, and I wanted to try out the blue stone. So I put it down, thinking it would bring another player to help alongside me, but no: A loading screen started, and then a cutscene occurred where this old mummy thing in a chair levitated it's headwrappings onto me. Then I was told that I had slayed a human, even though there weren't any in the room. I guess I was acting as a boss but they hadn't made it to me? I was trapped in the room because I couldn't pass through the fog. Anyway so I do that, get my body back then bam, whilst I'm in my inventory I get invaded for the first time against a guy with a pretty beasty weapon and I get well and truly smashed up. I'd been playing for a fair while so I just decided to get my souls back and quit.

When Fused King was asked if he liked the boat, he laughed his rich, baritone laugh. "Well it is long, hard, and full of seamen. That's why I'm standing near the stern."