From skim-reading your first post, fuck 'em. Screw the tossers and rape the church. Everything I see is messed up, usually the people, but everything else, yeah, I have no hope for anything else. I have never once in my life been truly happy, and I doubt I ever will be. And it's their fault, so fuck them, all of them. I'm not sure what you were on about but I have a good idea. Erm... what atif said really :P