gaggle64

Martinist:

Oh jesus, an A grade performance from almost my entire squad (putting three of them into the X11), dominating possession and all I get is a lousy 2-0 loss. God fucking dammit.

Two rounds so far - now it's business time. AFC ReZs Rabies 1 – 2 Bayern Fish The Rez’s were left to cry Comedy Rainbows this afternoon as they suffered a humiliating defeat by The Fish. Despite getting the best of play in an otherwise uneventful match the Rez’s couldn’t break the defence with all three goals of the match being scored via direct free kicks. The manager for AFC ReZ’s Rabies tried to lighten the mood in the post match conference by making a series of puns, each so unfunny that we can’t in all good morality reprint them here. A warrant has since been issued for his arrest. Juicy Fruits 3 – 0 Martinists Men The MM’s floundered today as the Fruits made the best of their chances, slotting home three flavoursome goals to nothing. Yellow cards came thick and fast from the referee in a bid to justify his job in a shrinking economy with 3 in the first eighteen minutes alone. Things went from bad to worse for the Men as their key star was injured early in the 1st half and then accidentally-on-purpose kicked in the testicles by the home medic. This left the Juicy Fruits free to salivate over a two for two début. Lededhead Dominatrix 4 – 1 Complete Domstercool The Dom’s were dominated again as the Dominatrxi(?) bent them over and gave them the spanking of a lifetime for being such naughty naughty boys who need to punished for being bad to teacher. LDs took an early lead over the CDs which gave them the hebejebees, a single goal from a freekick the CDs managed to sieze but the LDs went on to score three with ease, whenever they pleased. The manager for Complete Domstercool was unable for comment as he has not yet been able to remove the ball gag from his mouth. Recall United 5 – 1 Rising Phoenix Recall United recalled their tactics and then United, sending the Phoenixi(?) and their asses all the way back to Mahhhhs. Taking in the match in their cyborg-like grip Recall spent the entirety of the match relaxing in the shade on a beach earning twenty percent as Brett Whiteside fired off three brilliant goals from defence using a ball cannon constructed out of just a paper clip, three packs of mint gum and a condom. Two further goals were scored after the rest of team got tired of water skiing and wanted to go home. After the match the governing body for the sport has agreed to hold talks as to the possibility of reinstating the ban against allowing players access to reruns of MacGyver before matches. Most Important Result: AFC ReZs Rabies 1 – 2 Bayern Fish Bayern Fish make it a second victory for the Aquarius rookies against established opposition. Turned On Style: Recall United recovered enough from a poor season opener to ram their fists into their opponent's stomach and broke their goddamn spine. Player Of The Day: Despite being a defender, Brett Whiteside is apparently a goal scoring machine from an apocalyptic future. No fate.

In his defense, I happen to know that picture is actual size.

Well, someone's a stud.

A new season, but who has the sugar lumps to see it though? Complete Domestercool – Juicy Fruits 1 -3 The Completely Domesters lost their cool on Friday in the first match of the season after being overwhelmed by a delicious new taste sensation. Though both teams were evenly matched the CDs simply couldn't handle the intense flavour as two of their line-up got Tangoed and had to stretchered off as the Juicys gave them a hit of the whole fruit to finish three goals to one. Martinists Men – Rising Phoenix 1 -1 The Phoenix fell flat in their league debut today drawing one-all against the MMs, who continue to make surprisingly positive performances on pitch despite the management chaos that surrounded their sale to a half-eaten ham sandwich late last season. Darren Bolam seemed to put the fire under the Phoenix's wings with a superb header earl in the game, but the team failed to ignite and never managed to overcome an equaliser early in the second half. The ham sandwich later held a press conference, claiming that he continued to feel vindicated by his investment in the team, though doubts about future revenue streams remain. Lededhead Dominatrix – Discounted Viagra 1 - 1 The Stade de Silva was dripping with tension and unidentifiable bodily fluids as the Dominatrixs and Viagras were joined in largely uneventful game, both adopting a passive style of play since dubbed “Tantric Football.” Though the Dominatrixs gained control of all the balls Viagra could muster towards them a single goal from a close range whip in the box was all they could manage, leaving Viagra to equalise with a perfect money shot from the head of Yochi Sahara, following an unnaturally long build up that no normal man could possibly be expected to maintain. Bayern Fish – Recall Untited 2 – 1 New in the pool Bayern Fish just kept on swimming as Recall forgot themselves completely and were slapped something silly by the mighty minnows. Despite drawing blood with the opening goal Recall totally failed to kill eet, as the Fish went predator and terminated their hopes of victory with two superb goals in the second half from Haamarksjold, assisted by Andervi acting as running man. Analysis Most Important Result: Complete Domestercool – Juicy Fruits 1 - 3 Juicy Fruits demonstrate the intensity of their fresh new flavour. Now available in six packs! Turned On Style: The Juicy Fruits for a superb debut. Kids and Grown ups just love 'em so! Player Of The Day: Torsten Hammarskjöld for his superb brace of goals to see the 'Fish give their opponents a real battering.

For purposes of adorableness.

Ahhh, gawd. Got woken up by the phone at 7:10am, ended up being pulled into work right there and then until 4pm. I feel like could do any shift now spinning on my erect nipples having got through that.

Awesome finale, well worth the wait. Just the right amount of twisty I think.

I'm gonna miss the GP tomorrow because I'll be working. Frankly I'll probably be happier in the long run. Wish I wasn't missing the football though.

Ugh. Dominated possession but no joy. Gonna be another long season.

The 12-hour 2/3 day a week job I used to have is apparently now an 20+ hour six day week with essentially random hours, and will remain as such until everyone has finished going on holiday/falling ill/having mothers that are falling ill. I miss having weekends.

Awk, more bad news! Here's hoping you get a break soon Raining. Lord knows you're overdue.

An Airbus 380 airliner crossing the aircraft-only Autobahn bridge at Leipzig Airport. No, this isn't 'shopped.

Oh goddammit will you two stop falling ill! I never get to complain about anything. I'll show you, one day I'll be so sick that everyone will have to pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (Seriously though, hope things start looking better for both of you soooooooons!)

Yes. Yes they do.

Sometimes I get the impression Roger's doing it deliberately. It's all just part of the show to him.

Awk, Raaaaaining! Hope things get better for you soon! God knows you're overdue for some good luck. :hug:

Despite the new trailer there's still bizzarely little information on it, particularly on it's official site. It is a shooter/brawler style action/RPG game for sure, but beyond that much is known. I understand co-op will probably be a significant component of the game though. Apparently they'll have a playable build of some kind at Gamescom in a couple of months so everything will be revealed soon enough.

The bit that takes my breath away is the replay at the end and you can see the water droplets streaming down the body of the car on some of the on-board angles. Gorgeous.

I particularly like how they didn't even do a "Next Time..." montage after the episode. They should go even further and make part 2 just the titles followed by 48 minutes of static.

Happy Birthday, have a good un!

Quick update with a Eurogamer hands on, complete with 2010-car involved screen shots and an E3 video with water effects which, frankly, made me a little moist. http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/f1-2010-e3-2010-hands-on

3 all, not bad considering I'm competing in the middle league.

Blaaah. I was looking forward to nice relaxing afternoon in the sun, but then I get called in at the last minute because everything's gone to shit at work, and when I make it back out it's all grey. Also England are sucking something tremendous. Blaaaaaaaaaaaah!