EEVILMURRAY

That's because it MAY sound weird, you might actually welcome the sensation of a cock up your ass.

It's not as prominent as the picture dictates, but you get the idea: It sometimes happens with blocks of colour, gradually fading as it goes to the right.

For the non-alcoholic massive, it's got to be Sainsbury's apple and blackcurrent cordial, nicely chilled.

I bought a new monitor a while back and I'm recently started seeing a problem. It's like a light is being shone from the left, and you can see the shadow of dark lines trailing to the right. I know it's not screen burn or anything [My monitor is turned off when not in use and has a screensaver for the PC] since it follows whatever dark line it's shadowing, but it's starting to get mighty annoying. Help me!

Jesus Christ... However! That middle photo, you'd think his sister would be a bit more happy having her photo taken next to one of the Californian Raisins.

Normally Carling/Carlsberg/Fosters, the cheap shit. However I have a bottle of Smirnoff and a bottle of Martini with an optic sticking out for correct measurements under my feet.

Let's not forget The Santa Claus Movie, with the main man Patch.

I know, it's a pissing disgrace, the masses were deprived of such quality lines like: Garth Marenghi: I do not believe that any form of life, be it human, animal, or plant, should be hurt in the making of a television programme. So I personally feel really bad about that cat we killed. Dean Learner: I had a cat once. I dropped a sofa on it, it was a right off, so I stood on its head.

Everyone makes a big deal out of 21 for some reason. We're not in America, nothing special happens. 20 is sexy because it's a nice round number. 25 is nice because it's the quarter of a century remix.

Some classic Darkplace quotes. Dean Learner: Garth is the most significant artist that I've worked with and I've worked with Lulu and four other people, so we're talking crème de la crème. Dean Learner: I, got a script, read it. Scared me senseless, comme d'habitudes. And I said to Garth, I looked straight into his face, I've never been afraid of holding a man's gaze - it's natural. I said "this is going to be the most significant televisual event since Quantum Leap." And I do not say that lightly. Garth Marenghi: (sat at his desk, reading from one of his novels The Told) Nina's eyes popped out of what was left of her back. Why oh why had she opened that tomb? The sand turned red. This was because she was bleeding on it. Blood - ruby-red blood, her blood. Blood… and piss and shit. This was the worst day of her life.

It achieved a little cult status, but not many people watched it, hence why it got assraped from our screens. Cue a large amount of pimpsmacking from the cult massive to finally get it on Doovdé.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

I've pimpsmacked my list over. Bring it on.

I don't watch TV as much as I once did, due to academic research and the like raping my time, that and getting drunk numerous times. Another reason for this is my housemates' penchant for downloading American dramas before they appear here, so the TV is used less in that respect. I only really use the TV to watch Neighbours, a bit of Never Mind The Buzzcocks, and maybe a few other extra programmes.

I wear a sock on my dong so I'm pretty much sorted.

But shortly after that photo was taken, he slowly charged up a ramp and through a ring of fire over 5 monster trucks.

Not happy at all. The man spent his life shitting in Death's face. The rubbing it in his eye sockets. He should recieve an honourary Knighthood.

The ones we have here are more than enough. I'm sure your friends have the pleasure of having you in person to pull such gripping poses and have equally smashing Msn convo's with.

I mainly socialise with my chums in a static position. If I feel enough liquid courage, or there's a change of some minge, I'll attempt dancing.

Why use Google, they won't get half the results than what they'll find here.

With regards to the lack of girls in a club: "Islands of minge in a sea of cock"

Can we have some sponsorship? "Arab_freak's image gallery, brought to you in association with Cadbury's Mini Rolls" It's genius.

That music sounded nothing like the Zelda II temple until right near the end. As if was playing I thought I'd clicked a wrong button or something. However, tis sexy to see the temple back. I wouldn't mind seeing the Pokémon Floats back, or the music at least.

I noticed something on Yahoo a few days ago how they were criticising the James Bond movies because a load of bell ends were applying to be spies. As for the secret shizzle, yeah. I'm pr0 at keeping stuff on the downlow.

Very sexy. I'm feeling that, I'll see about drawing that into my sexy storyboard.