Nintendork Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Who'd want to go to Norfolk anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mario114 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Who'd want to go to Norfolk anyway? Whats wrong with Norfolk (apart from bird flu....of course)...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stocka Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Oi I live in Norfolk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tellyn Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Is bird flu in Britain now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flaight Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 My bird flu protection kit: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirited away Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Is bird flu in Britain now? Yer , I generally forget what i hear on the news, but it was a swan in a pond that no-one bothered to mention... i think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 There was a case of H7 in Norfolk but no H5N1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshMat Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Pandemic my arse, it's gonna be smaall, no outbreak, they're trying tog et everyone worried over nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramar Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 What is wrong with Norfolk? My family are from Norfolk. :-\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delhijo Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! especially if it's just a flu. Is really bird flu in britain now?!??!!? I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nintendork Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 Literally 35,000 birds got killed in Norfolk. 3 farms have been infected and they've got the containment science dorks out there trying to contain it with their gadgets. No humans can catch it right now unless you literally inhale and ingest the faeces of the bird that is infected.. and if you do that to chickens in the first place you're kinda asking for some kind of infection. H7 varies somewhat for H5 strains of the virus, it's less of a worry which is why you haven't be warned. Scotland however has the H5N1 strain of the virus in Fife I think it is. I'm more worried about the farmer's livelihood and my supply of free range eggs than catching it.. which should give you an idea of the perspective and how likely it is right now for humans to catch it. It is fucked up, and it's a shame but this shit is innevitable in a global trading world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stefkov Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 a couple of these and the bird flu will all go away: bit of magic mushroom also its noahs ark all over again, just without the water and the boats, all the animls of this earth will soon all be killed!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The3rdChildren Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! especially if it's just a flu. Is really bird flu in britain now?!??!!? I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! It's okay, I know how you can survive. You will need: 1 x Large cardboard box big enough for yourself and one other (optional). 10 x Greedy cats.. 5 x Rolls of selotape. 20 x Cans of Beans, preferred brand (add 20 more if you're sharing the box) 1 x Can Opener. 1 x Backup Can Opener. Step one: Goin' Hobo. After you have located the cardboard box, I suggest you spend a night inside it. Invite your "guest" along too so you can prepare yourself for the hiding period I will discuss in step five. Step two: Pussy Preparation. Assuming you have secured the 10 healthy cats, you must now selotape them to the exterior of the box so that they can eat any birds that come into contact with your Bird Flu Shelter. They will contain the virus to stop it spreading to you and your guest. Step three: Under the Stairs. Everyone knows the safest place in the house is under the stairs, so you'll now need to place the cat-adorned box in that little cupboard. Throw Harry Potter out if necessary, he spends so much time around owls he's probably immune anyway. Be sure to place the beans inside the box too, alongside the can opener. Step four: The Waiting Game. You must now wait, feeding and nourishing the cats to keep them alive until the bird flu outbreak begins to take it's hold on your country. This could be weeks from now, which oozes opportunity for other less-creative individuals to try and hijack your Bird Flu shelter. Use this time to defend the house using anything you can find, from samurai swords to play dough. Step five: "They're Heeeeeeeeere". Bird Flu has taken it's grip on the world, and the sickness has claimed many people, including your favourite aunt. On the positive side, it also claimed your least favourite aunt, so you'll be spared socks the coming Christmas. You and your guest must make your way to the Bird Flu shelter and selotape the flaps closed. You are safe for now. Step six: Kill Your Guest Because They Went Insane (optional) Inevitably, your guest will go insane with wait and you will be forced to kill him or her. This usually happens at least three or four years after step five. Hang in there! Step seven: The Rebirth. At last, you can emerge from your shelter and gaze upon the ruined world. Do not be surprised to think it has snowed at first, the snow is actually a blanket of bird droppings. Do not leave your house just yet. Step eight: Taking a piss. After several years in the shelter, you will have either evolved to a state of being where urination is no longer mandatory, or need one monster of a piss. Relieve yourself, grab your coat and mittens and venture out into the desolate world to search for survivors using your guest's thigh bone as a club to defend yourself against crazed attackers and wolves. If your guest is not yet dead, kill them and obtain their bone as a club. Step nine: Repopulation. The fun is finally here. You will need to brave the tainted, bird shit covered world and locate a female survivor to have reproduce with (look under the stairs in all houses or follow the stench of decaying cats). She must be incredibly attractive, because we don't want the new population of earth to be ugly despite the likelihood of inbreeding further along the line. You've been in a box for about seven years, treat yourself. If a female is not compliant, use the bone to teach her the way -your- earth rolls. If for some reason you are unable to find any other survivors, or just ugly girls, you should stop reading now. Mankind is fucked and it's all your fault Step ten: Live Happily Ever After. You and your super model bride will eventually discover certain animals have survived the bird flu. Badgers will have evolved into horse-sized vessels to be used as transport. Bees and wasps have unfortunately survived too, so watch out for those. Now the instructions have some to an end, give yourself a pat on the back. You saved mankind, you jammy bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
demonmike04 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Coincidentally, one of my best friends parents went to norfolk this weekend and didnt realise about the bird flu thing. Then again it wasnt the dead shit. Also, i thought the cure for bird flu was KFC? The stuff gets cooked way over 100 degree's, which kills off bacteria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyson Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I come from Norfolk >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubechris Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 NICE ONE GUY 11/10 FOR EFFORT, ARAB FREAK IT GOT A GIGGLE. sHIT cAPS, AH WELL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackfox Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Someone stuck this up at work the other day. So being a little shit - I binned it. Guy's guide made me have a ROFL and a LAMAYO all in one. I called it a ROLOMAYO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The3rdChildren Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 ROLOMAYO. And there's the winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike-zim Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 As long as bird flu doesn't spread to the bird i like. examples of these are the pink nipples white tit. the brown nippled white tit is also a favourite of mine. i do like the greater breasted brazillian Singer a rather rare breed in this country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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