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Posted
I punched a guy with glasses on once.

I heard a rumour he wears an eyepatch now.

dsg3vn.gif

ARR AT LAST I FOUND YE, YA SCURVY LAND LOVER!

 

I punched a babye once. He was totally being a dick. /pennyarcade

 

I got nothing.

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Posted

- I dropped a knife earlier and it got stuck in the table. I covered it with the table cloth.

- I hate my sister.

- I think of kicking children all the time.

- I scare old ladies by staring at them as they walk by.

- I absolutely HATE my eyepatch... Last time I visit London...

Posted

Constantly discriminating religion indiscrimantly.

Random acts of violence and vandalism (but not anymore)

Flinging my bitch sisters dead pet mouse off my skateboard a few years back

Burning myself with hot water just cuz it feels good

Rampant alcoholism

To be continued....

EDIT: Fixed spelling error

Posted
I punched a guy with glasses on once.

I heard a rumour he wears an eyepatch now.

 

You monster!

 

When i was 18, i sold cigarettes to the kids at the pool i lifeguarded for a healthy profit. But only to the kids who already smoked. They would have gotten them elsewhere if not from me, right?

Posted
wow guys! some of these are illegal are you sure you want to share them with everyone? you could get reported!

 

Don't worry yourself, he didn't really fuck a squirrel.

Posted

Once when i was in year 5, my teacher took all my pokemon cards from me

and from a few other students. She put them in her coat pocket which was on left on her chair. hmmm:idea: yep i stayed in the class room until everyone left and got them back.

(man i hated her, she had evil eyes)

Posted
wow guys! some of these are illegal are you sure you want to share them with everyone? you could get reported!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ha

Posted

I shot a wasp with my gas powered airsoft (bb) pistol, it's remains (well half of them) went flying across my room (and the bb left a nice wasp filled dent on my window frame). I also shoot at cows with my friends springer bb pistol, (they ran away), it was very funny, we even videoed one of us shooting at them.

Posted

Around when my brother was say.. 8, and I was 14 (approximately), he was running after me in the hall. So I quickly went into the bathroom and (purpously) opened the door (outwards, toward the hall) so that when he came running by hed run straight into it. What I had not predicted, however, was that the doorknob was at the exact height of his eye. And, well, he was running pretty fast, and.. You may be able to figure out the rest. There was blood and tears everywhere, he had to go to the hospital and shit. He turned out ok but I was pretty scared out of my mind for a while.

Posted
Around when my brother was say.. 8, and I was 14 (approximately), he was running after me in the hall. So I quickly went into the bathroom and (purpously) opened the door (outwards, toward the hall) so that when he came running by hed run straight into it. What I had not predicted, however, was that the doorknob was at the exact height of his eye. And, well, he was running pretty fast, and.. You may be able to figure out the rest. There was blood and tears everywhere, he had to go to the hospital and shit. He turned out ok but I was pretty scared out of my mind for a while.

 

We all make mistakes. The mistake here was your brother being a short-ass and running in the hall.

Posted

Well, to be quite honest, the whole thing was a planned prank. I made him run after me, just so I could slam the door in his face. Yeah, I know, pretty stupid of me. As you probably understand I felt like shit afterwards. We might've been younger at the time, I don't really remember when this was.

Posted
where, how and what with

 

The last time I did it was on the path that runs by the church. I used my right hand and my nob funnily enough.

 

My village is quiet so you don't get disturbed.

 

I've done it in school before. Once in a tech lesson. I found a way to wank without taking your trousers off. It's not as good though. And you get sticky boxers. Which was made worse as I had P.E that day. Had to get changed in a corner.

Posted
The last time I did it was on the path that runs by the church. I used my right hand and my nob funnily enough.

 

My village is quiet so you don't get disturbed.

 

I've done it in school before. Once in a tech lesson. I found a way to wank without taking your trousers off. It's not as good though. And you get sticky boxers. Which was made worse as I had P.E that day. Had to get changed in a corner.

:shakehead

Posted
The last time I did it was on the path that runs by the church. I used my right hand and my nob funnily enough.

 

My village is quiet so you don't get disturbed.

 

I've done it in school before. Once in a tech lesson. I found a way to wank without taking your trousers off. It's not as good though. And you get sticky boxers. Which was made worse as I had P.E that day. Had to get changed in a corner.

:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

Posted
The last time I did it was on the path that runs by the church. I used my right hand and my nob funnily enough.

 

My village is quiet so you don't get disturbed.

 

I've done it in school before. Once in a tech lesson. I found a way to wank without taking your trousers off. It's not as good though. And you get sticky boxers. Which was made worse as I had P.E that day. Had to get changed in a corner.

 

Fuckin legend


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