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Posted

You thought it was done, but just like a bad rash, it's back! Gaming Questions That Don't Matter! My never-ending struggle with my inner demons, which manifest themselves as stupid, unanswerable questions about video games!

After a brief hiatus, I stumbled upon this little notice that shows up in Sonic Adventure 2.

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Boy, there's a lot to digest here (What does "Complexion: Fox" even mean!?).

For reasons I won't bother going into, Tails is wanted by the Sonic universe's equivalent to the military, G.U.N. in Sonic Adventure 2. Hence, the wanted poster.

But why the hell is information on him so sparse?

No date of birth, no information on where he's from, and they can't even get an accurate height!

I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of Sonic games, but isn't Espio supposed to be the master of covert operations? Tails is surprisingly good at staying off the grid considering he hangs around Sonic all the time!

So yeah, what gives? I wanna hear some thoughts on this.

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Posted

Wasn't Tails the result of an experiment? Assuming that Dr.Robotnik did it, and that he took him as a baby, that explains the lack of info regarding his birth. He now lives as a free spirit along with Sonic in natural Green environments such as Hills, which explains him being off the grid. Legally speaking, he may be a barbarian.

Or maybe G.U.N. is just shit at gathering intel. "Height: Small"? Is that the best they can do? If they already have a field for hair colour, and another for race, why add the redundant "Complexion"? And yet they couldn't even tell a blue hedhehog from a black one!

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Posted
Quote

Occupation: None

Knew he was a no good bum!  G.U.N probably can't find him because he's a hobo who won't get off of Sonic's lawn.

Posted

G.U.N. can't find him because they've been looking on the ground (the traditional place for a fox to be), whereas he spends his time in the air (historically not a common place to find foxes). If they craned their necks upwards, they would be able to expand their investigation somewhat.

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Posted

Apparently he hasn't even born, they list his D.O.B as none, when really it should be "unknown".

22 hours ago, Jonnas said:

And yet they couldn't even tell a blue hedhehog from a black one!

Yeah, I never understood that. They didn't even make out they set him up or anything either.

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Posted
4 hours ago, Ike said:

Apparently he hasn't even born, they list his D.O.B as none, when really it should be "unknown".

Surely if he wasn't even born then "none" is correct as there was no date of birth (as opposed to "unknown" which would imply one exists but they're clueless)? 

Posted
46 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Surely if he wasn't even born then "none" is correct as there was no date of birth (as opposed to "unknown" which would imply one exists but they're clueless)? 

I'm leaning towards that they are clueless.

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Posted
6 hours ago, Ike said:

Yeah, I never understood that. They didn't even make out they set him up or anything either.

I mean, both Sonic and Shadow's complexion is "Hedgehog", so maybe that's why?

Which would only mean that G.U.N is specieist. (Shut up, it's totally a word!)

Posted
16 minutes ago, Glen-i said:

I mean, both Sonic and Shadow's complexion is "Hedgehog", so maybe that's why?

Which would only mean that G.U.N is specieist. (Shut up, it's totally a word!)

Speciesism IS actually a word (and Speciest is a colloquial variant of Speciesism), so yes! You’re actually right! 

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Posted
11 hours ago, Dcubed said:

Knew he was a no good bum!  G.U.N probably can't find him because he's a hobo who won't get off of Sonic's lawn.

I hadn't even noticed that one! Tails is a proficient mechanical engineer AND aviator, with connections to researchers and professors from other fields (in Unleashed, he's on familiar terms with a renowned historian/anthropologist, so he's been building up that researcher network quite far). G.U.N. doesn't get a single thing right!

Sonic's the actual bum. No house nor property to his name, no job, no income. Tails has a workshop/lab, at least.

11 hours ago, Ike said:

Yeah, I never understood that. They didn't even make out they set him up or anything either.

Let's face it, in a world where anthropomorphic animals are a common part of society, confusing two easily distinguishable hedgehogs is just pure racism by the police. Never expected such biting social commentary to come from Sonic Adventure 2, but that's the world we live in.

Posted
7 hours ago, Jonnas said:

Let's face it, in a world where anthropomorphic animals are a common part of society, confusing two easily distinguishable hedgehogs is just pure racism by the police. Never expected such biting social commentary to come from Sonic Adventure 2, but that's the world we live in.

I gotta say, did not expect the thread to lurch in this direction when I made it. It's great!

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