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The 'F' Word


Ashley

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It's that time of year again where we make the pilgrimage back and endure people that we're biologically Stockholm Syndromed into loving (what, did some people think I was referring to another 'f' word?).

 

I'm heading back Saturday night and kind of dreading it already. Just not in the mood to deal with the myriad of dramas, the awkward small talk, the "when are you going to buy a house/settle down" like questions from my drunken father's side, the things that aren't being said. It's all too Eastenders.

 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy most members (of my mother's side) of my family, but Christmas is always intense and back home all my friends have kids so its difficult to find a respite.

 

Hopefully some people enjoy their family's company, but just thought we may enjoy a moan before heading back!

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I'm not looking forward to it much, really. It'll be good to have a week off work, jah... but I will get rubbish presents, nobody will appreciate theirs, my mum will be mental, my sister will be mental, my brother-in-law will be mental, my neice will be mental. I won't get any sleep, I'll be lectured about loads of things I already know about (smoking, hearing aids, bus pass, dentist, getting a flat), and for two and a half days I will essentially have to do as I'm told. Won't be able to go where I want, do what I want, watch what I want or even fucking go to bed when I want.

 

... Hopefully it won't be too bad. I guess these sorts of things are worse in the anticipation stage than in the actual moment. I don't have to deal with small talk like Ashley, as it's a relatively small family gathering and we are all at least comfortable enough to just speak our minds.

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Considering the size of my family, I'm amazed that there are so few problems. There's my sister's mum who is crazy (but she isn't my family anyway), and that's about it.

 

As for Christmas. As always, I'm going to my Mum's. I've never spent Christmas at my Dad's (even though I now live in walking distance), but to his side of the family it's not a big thing like it is on my Mum's side, and he fully understands that.

 

I'll likely be spending most of the day playing with my brother and sister (not the sister I mentioned earlier), after seeing my sister (another one), her boyfriend and their three kids in the morning. I'm hoping my brother gets LEGO.

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I live with my parents still, so i'm used to the craziness. We've got my Aunt, Nan, Sister and her "invisible"* fiance coming. Having a full family get together, then at the end of the week off to my Uncle's for a piss-up.

 

*I say invisible, i've never seen him but on photo's

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My family are bullies on my father's side. They're all a foot taller than me, quicker witted in terms of insults and prepared to push the envelope in terms of what they will say. If I tell them to go fuck themselves in return, I usually get in the shit for responding (I should be the bigger man, hahahaha). They were shit to me last year.

 

The mother's side of the family I have barely seen since mum's funeral as my grandmother systematically alienated all of them due to her opinionated and controlling attitude. But since she developed Parkinson's Disease she's been playing it up and getting help and sympathy from the people she has barely spoken to for years.

 

Oh, and my wife arrived in the UK. And she is in a foil mood with me for failing to get her food (when food was already prepared) and not having an adapter for the blow up bed. Even though she was supposed to bring her own.

 

I just want to get christmas over, i know i sound like a scrooge, but having recently lost 2 very close family members it will be a very difficult time this year.

 

Just make the most of what ever christmas you have as who knows who will or wont be here this time next year.

 

My sympathies.

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