Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 What does the word mean to you? Me personally I think it means that someone who will be there for you and help you when you fall, someone who is trusting and will give advice to you even if you don't nesscarry agree or like it. I think friendship is somthing someone should hold close to there heart. What I do not consider a friend is someone that uses you and calls you names behind your back! I do not apprichate being used period but espchally by not those people who I throught were close to me. I guess its really true that you would only have one true friend in a lifetime! I always try and be a 'true' friend to everyone, but I always fail to understand why others can't have the same attiude, if they did the world would be a slightly better place. I trust people I meet 100% which a lot of people say i'm niave to do because they say you don't know what they are like outside the circle sort to speak... But what i do is, if i find a 'friend' i've trusted has broken that bond, i normally give them a 2nd chance but the trust needs to be worked on from the ground up, If they put effort in then they are worthy of my trust again.. however they only get one chance for that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I might weigh in my thoughts later but just thought I'd say quickly, I never understood this "I love my friends but if you cross me I'll never forgive you" or the whole "You have 2 chances and if you screw up, I'm not your friend" It just seems...wrong. I dunno...surely it'll depend on the situation of events and the person in question. I can relate to you though with the whole trusting in people (nearly) 100% who I really shouldn't :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I've always believed in people being able to change, especially for the better, so I'm all for giving second chances. It all depends on the situation, though, and trust may need to be rebuilt. You'll also be able to feel if the other truly values your friendship or if he/she's just using you. At the moment I have a number of really good friends, but one in particular I have an extremely close bond with. It's amazing. I don't think I've ever had such a close friend before. Even though we live in opposite ends of the country now, we still maintain contact, and it doesn't seem like our friendship has decreased one bit. If anything, we're making sure it stays even tighter than before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 well yeah of course it'd depends on the situation on the both chances, friends always argue thats life.. I have a friend of whom has been back stabbing me I found out through liable sources, this is also the 3rd time his done this. This friend was also very close to me, like a best mate, I confronted him and I expected an apology from him and that would probably be the matter dropped, instead I get loads of insults and threating behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) Friend to me is a word that is often misused, like love. It should be reserved for the handful of people in your life who will be there for you no matter what happens. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to count up to the fingers on my second hand when determining true friends. If a friend is backstabbing you repeatedly, they're not a friend. They're a mate, and not even a very good one. Edited January 8, 2011 by Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Friend to me is a word that is often misused, like love. It should be reserved for the handful of people in your life who will be there for you no matter what happens. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to count up to the fingers on my second hand when determining true friends. If a friend is backstabbing you repeatedly, they're not a friend. They're a mate, and not even a very good one. Agreed. The word 'friend' is way overused so I never say that unless I truly mean it. I'll say the word 'mate' but that's my way of saying an acquaintance really. I totally understand the two chance thing though but I don't understand the 'cross me once and I'll never speak to you' though. The two chance thing is something I do but they must really have done something terrible such as told a terrible lie or bitch about me behind my back. I let small things like arguments go unless they go on for way too long. But Ryuk, seriously, if this guy who's upsetted you three times has hurt you that bad, never speak to him again! He's not a friend if he does that to you. It doesn't help having people like that in your life either! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Every friend i've ever had has let me down, except one. It's great while it lasts, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnas Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Friends are people I trust, of course. I tend to trust people initially, which might leave me in the "gullible" side of things a few times, but I don't mind it. Those who wrong me often cease to be my friends, one way or the other, though. Wronging me once does not mean our friendship ends immediately, but how that person acts afterwards (or why they did it in the first place) will determine whether I should keep them as friends or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 or bitch about me behind my back Haven't we all been bitched at behind our backs at some point, though? We all have our faults, and we're bound to annoy each other with them at some points. I think we've all needed to vent annoyance at some of our friends' faults from time to time, but being a good friend means ultimately accepting those faults and seeing past them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tapedeck Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Excellent post Danny. I had an issue at work about this recently and was called an office bitch for saying someone pissed me off. I said what you said and they couldn't understand it. Glad to see someone is as realistic as I am. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heroicjanitor Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm the opposite, I tend not to trust people. I am reserved around people I don't know well, and usually if one of these people is supposed to do something for me I'll have some sort of a backup plan. Trust is earned, not given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Excellent post Danny. I had an issue at work about this recently and was called an office bitch for saying someone pissed me off. I said what you said and they couldn't understand it. Glad to see someone is as realistic as I am. :-) I know I've bitched about my friends' faults to others before, and I bet they've bitched about my faults to each other as well. Why shouldn't they? It doesn't mean they don't like me, it means they're still my friends despite my faults. I don't like fake friendliness. On the contrary, I believe honesty strengthens friendships. Of course I don't mean going around and pointing out people's little flaws. That's just being a jerk. They're most likely already aware of them, and it's most often something insignificant that's rarely serious enough to matter much, anyway. If it's something serious, I'll have an honest talk with them about it, how I'm worried about this or that personality trait having a negative influence on their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slaggis Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 When it's time for them to leave, and you don't want them to go. Pretty basic, but completely true. Friendship should never be a chore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 It depends though, calling the person all sorts of names behind there back 'bitching' is a no for me, I have never called anyone nasty names, I have been brought up to believe, don't do to others what you wouldn't like done to yourself, and i hold that moral close to my heart. Most of the time when someones annoyed me I would pull them up about it instead of moaning behind there back unless its very serious then i might pull it up with one or two people asking there advice on what I should do even then I treat the situation with respect until that said person disrespects me when I confront them. Calling me a Dick and blaming me for a failer of an online community is a big no no for me, espchally because they've done it more then once... like i said I am very open person, and probably very guliable however u spell it. Thats just who I am, I cannot change that no more then I can change the colour of the sky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) When it's time for them to leave, and you don't want them to go. Pretty basic, but completely true. Friendship should never be a chore. It's a sweet sentiment, but I think it's a bit too simplified. You're not always in a social mood, and most people need their alone time. It depends though, calling the person all sorts of names behind there back 'bitching' is a no for me, I have never called anyone nasty names, I have been brought up to believe, don't do to others what you wouldn't like done to yourself, and i hold that moral close to my heart. Most of the time when someones annoyed me I would pull them up about it instead of moaning behind there back unless its very serious then i might pull it up with one or two people asking there advice on what I should do even then I treat the situation with respect until that said person disrespects me when I confront them. Calling me a Dick and blaming me for a failer of an online community is a big no no for me, espchally because they've done it more then once... like i said I am very open person, and probably very guliable however u spell it. Thats just who I am, I cannot change that no more then I can change the colour of the sky. Oh, but that's not what I meant at all. It sounds like he's being a jerk. I meant that we all have small flaws that we need to vent about sometimes. As I said, if it's something that's seriously a problem, you should talk to them about it. Bringing up small and insignificant flaws, though, is pretty pointless. We just need to let out some steam to others once in a while about stuff that's been nagging us. Edited January 8, 2011 by Dannyboy-the-Dane Automerged Doublepost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 Yeah thats why I enjoy forums that have Gribs and moans sections, cuz you can pretty much vent and get advice from its users, I do agree people need to vent if someones getting on there nervs thats probably why I made my orginal posting the first place.. and yeah i did try and confront this person and all I got after words was insults and black mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 It's a sweet sentiment, but I think it's a bit too simplified. You're not always in a social mood, and most people need their alone time. I was looking at his statement as painting a slightly broader picture, as if them going was more than just leaving your company. If you think of what he said like that, it makes a bit more sense what friendship is about, albeit extremely simplified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I was looking at his statement as painting a slightly broader picture, as if them going was more than just leaving your company. If you think of what he said like that, it makes a bit more sense what friendship is about, albeit extremely simplified. Ah, yes, I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I have no friends, just good enemies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 I reciaved a msg from this guy asking why I have removed him from my facebook.. hmm I'm so tempted to reply, but I'm going to be the bigger man and not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Why did you remove him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 because I don't have time for trouble makers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) Haven't we all been bitched at behind our backs at some point, though? We all have our faults, and we're bound to annoy each other with them at some points. I think we've all needed to vent annoyance at some of our friends' faults from time to time, but being a good friend means ultimately accepting those faults and seeing past them. Oh, I don't mean a harmless bitch or moan or something like that but I mean things like making up lies about your character or about your personality so that you look like the bad guy to turn people against you. I wouldn't mind so much if it was true and I'd rather them tell it to my face rather than behind my back but it's when they make up massive lies about you that are completely untrue that makes me angry. That kind of bitch is what I hate. What you had said above I would expect people to because it's human nature, it's normal. There's people out there who irritate me and there's people out there I might have irritated and I don't mind people discussing my flaws so long as it's the truth and not twisted to make me look bad and then slag me off and call me for all sorts. If a mate was going to be a total bitch, I'd rather them be a bitch to my face. I don't trust nobody 100% when I first meet them, it'd take years for me to trust someone with my secrets and stuff like that. I'd have to have known them for years and have spoken to them a lot. I have different levels of trust and there's only one friend out there who I can trust with absolutely everything. It's true what people say: If you have at least one friend in the world, you're extremely lucky and I do believe that. Edited January 9, 2011 by Animal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 Erm dazz if that one person isn't me, you had better make that two :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Erm dazz if that one person isn't me, you had better make that two :P I meant what I said, Ryuk, I meant what I said...you're just going to have to decide if it's you or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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