The Confessions and Advice Thread

[Dan_Dare]

Personally, I'd be too flattered to think you're desperate Molly. But then, I'm desperate so...chicken and the egg, innit?

[Molly]

I wonder if I'm now the female version of catch a goat you've pulled man, I think it's possible

[Beast]

I'm sorry Flamey, at least your mind is at rest though, right? Just always remember, it's her loss. She sounds like a really nice girl, at least she was nice about the reply

 

Yes, I can't use smellies either, alot of things including lush products cause me endless skin problems and as much as I love chocolate I see it as a cop out. Last year for christmas I had the same problem and ended up crying over the gifts I recieved.

 

I spent a massive amount of effort getting my housemates good thoughtful gifts to be given joke mugs from the pair of them. I was slightly heart broken when I opened them given I'd spend £50 between them on books/games/scarves.

 

Luckily my housemate this year got me a very thoughtful gift, something I happened to really like (its a 50's cooking set, very retro, even included cookie dough mix). Alot of the time though, apart from last year I've always been thankful I do get presents, even if they aren't stuff I would neccessarily use.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful but I just think they're being a bit thoughtless if I'm honest. I mean, I've literally TOLD them I can't use most smellies they get and they know I'm dedicated to my weight loss (it's been 10 years and they STILL get me chocolates and they know I don't eat it).

They listen to me about it but they ignore it. Even my best mate who I've known almost my whole life, still gets me chocolate and he knows more than anyone that I'm trying my hardest to lose weight and he knows chocolate is the biggest temptation to me.

I get people thoughtful gifts and I always question whether they'd like them and stuff and all they seem to do is waltz in poundland and pick the nearest chocolate bar or spray and I sound so ungrateful and selfish right now...

Which was why when my ex got me that DVD, I was happy because she knew it was broke so she gone and got me a better edition. Someone who actually thought of what I like and if I could use it.

[Gizmo]

Confession: Everytime a girl starts talking to me I start wondering if I have a chance.

 

Advice: Girl added me on Facebook, though I've never really spoken to her before. Chatting to her this evening. 2 of my friends are dating 2 of her friends. Do I have a shot, and how do I successfully take this shot.

[flameboy]

Confession: Everytime a girl starts talking to me I start wondering if I have a chance.

 

Advice: Girl added me on Facebook, though I've never really spoken to her before. Chatting to her this evening. 2 of my friends are dating 2 of her friends. Do I have a shot, and how do I successfully take this shot.

 

I always find myself doing the same thing, thinking hmmm could I mean in here...

 

I say its a slow burner, when did she add you? Don't wanna rush in...hell what do I know I'm sat on facebook chat chatting to the girl who this morning rejected me...

[Gizmo]

Few days ago, I messaged her saying "hello person ive never met" and we've been talking crap ever since.

 

A long shot, but meh, it will do for now. See how it goes.

[flameboy]

Few days ago, I messaged her saying "hello person ive never met" and we've been talking crap ever since.

 

A long shot, but meh, it will do for now. See how it goes.

yeah play it cool and see how it goes...

[Ashley]

I wonder if I'm now the female version of catch a goat you've pulled man, I think it's possible

 

Okay here's what you do; watch lots of Frasier, memorise some lines (specifically regarding wine or just generally if you wish) then use them. GUARANTEED winner.

 

(presuming this person is umm...me. Which I don't believe he is but whatever)

 

Random request; does anyone know where I can find out more about cat's ears? I know its a weird request (and yes I've wikied but its brief :p) One thing I've noticed now living with cats is they sure do have some active ears! But I want to know more, like how it reflects their mood etc etc. I find it interesting/I intend to animate a cat in Maya so it would help.

[Eenuh]

Okay here's what you do; watch lots of Frasier, memorise some lines (specifically regarding wine or just generally if you wish) then use them. GUARANTEED winner.

 

(presuming this person is umm...me. Which I don't believe he is but whatever)

 

Random request; does anyone know where I can find out more about cat's ears? I know its a weird request (and yes I've wikied but its brief :p) One thing I've noticed now living with cats is they sure do have some active ears! But I want to know more, like how it reflects their mood etc etc. I find it interesting/I intend to animate a cat in Maya so it would help.

 

Not sure if this is what you need, but found a page that talks about 'cat communication'. Also has a small section about how they use their ears (and tails and body etc).

http://www.messybeast.com/cat_talk2.htm

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Dunno if you can use it, but here's some small biological facts about cats' ears that I quickly googled: http://cats.about.com/od/felineanatomy/ig/FormandFunction/CATEars.htm

 

I am pleased to know I am not the only who literally views every girl I talk to as a potential partner. Or, well ... I'm nor pleased per se - more like relieved that I'm not the only desperate guy around here. Just try to be yourself and see if she's interested. Be kind, make her laugh, all that stuff.

[Ashley]

Cheers, that's really useful Eenuh

 

This is one thing I love about animation; the research. Just looking at aspects of life a bit more closely...I find it fascinating. And I'm envious that cats have such flexible ears. DAMN THIS FIXED EARS!

 

And while at it; I love when cats head nudge you. So sweet/awesome.

 

Cheers DTD. A great article simply because it includes this pic;

 

 

EVERYONE WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING!

[Charlie]

Confession: Everytime a girl starts talking to me I start wondering if I have a chance.

 

Advice: Girl added me on Facebook, though I've never really spoken to her before. Chatting to her this evening. 2 of my friends are dating 2 of her friends. Do I have a shot, and how do I successfully take this shot.

 

You always have a chance.

 

In general, girls love dating. They love being able to tell their friends they've got a hot date, that someone likes them. I would think you'll need to talk to her in real life (from what you've said you haven't really done so before?) before you can actually ask her out though. Maybe 'casually' bump into her when she's out and about? If 2 of her friends are going out with 2 of your friends then it should be easy enough to arrange. Start chatting to her then.

 

Get her number and start texting her! Always awkward at first but when she replies it'll be fine. Just remember, wait a while before texting her back!

 

Also try and upload photos on Facebook of you and loads of random girls. If she looks through them she'll see these and think that you have loads of girls and you're popular with the ladies which will make her like you more!

[Eenuh]

You always have a chance.

 

In general, girls love dating. They love being able to tell their friends they've got a hot date, that someone likes them. I would think you'll need to talk to her in real life (from what you've said you haven't really done so before?) before you can actually ask her out though. Maybe 'casually' bump into her when she's out and about? If 2 of her friends are going out with 2 of your friends then it should be easy enough to arrange. Start chatting to her then.

 

Get her number and start texting her! Always awkward at first but when she replies it'll be fine. Just remember, wait a while before texting her back!

 

Also try and upload photos on Facebook of you and loads of random girls. If she looks through them she'll see these and think that you have loads of girls and you're popular with the ladies which will make her like you more!

 

Really? For me if I see a guy who has lots of pictures with a lot of random girl, I would class him as a womaniser and not bother with him. If a guy is too popular with girls I will see that as more of a threat rather than something positive. I'm not very confident in myself, so to me it would seem like I don't have a chance, or if I do end up with the guy there's going to be a lot of jealousy and the fear of him running off with some other girl.

[Ashley]

I'd say it could work if they are friendly poses with a series of recurring girls (ie friends), but not so much if its just a series of you staring at women's breasts :p

[jayseven]

Can I say this thread depresses me.

 

Are men really all so desperate? What's the rush? Gizmo; what you say about 'each girl that talks to me..' I certainly used to feel like that. Perhaps I'm just getting old? Flameboy; I don't mean to be harsh but I did say that she sounded like a friend. Best thing for you to do now is effectively pretend you never asked her to marry you and have babies. Don't bring it up, don't whine about it, don't 'discuss' it. Just get back to being friends and you'll find it's way mroe powerful to have female best friends for when it comes to the next girl you like.

 

Also we should have a new rule where you can't start your advice-giving with "even though I've had no experience with this whatsoever, and I'm not the best person to ask..." *looks at dannyboy!* ... Frankly if you have no experience with it then where are you getting your ideas from?

 

CYNICISMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Ashley]

Frankly if you have no experience with it then where are you getting your ideas from?

 

TV. Veronica Mars taught me everything I need to know about relationships

 

Confession: I don't have a burning desire for someone because I'm awesome and in control of my emotions.

 

Ergo;

 

[nightwolf]

text

 

 

Pssh mr.cycnical, stop being so a big meany.

 

You big grinch.

[flameboy]

Can I say this thread depresses me.

 

Are men really all so desperate? What's the rush? Gizmo; what you say about 'each girl that talks to me..' I certainly used to feel like that. Perhaps I'm just getting old? Flameboy; I don't mean to be harsh but I did say that she sounded like a friend. Best thing for you to do now is effectively pretend you never asked her to marry you and have babies. Don't bring it up, don't whine about it, don't 'discuss' it. Just get back to being friends and you'll find it's way mroe powerful to have female best friends for when it comes to the next girl you like.

 

Also we should have a new rule where you can't start your advice-giving with "even though I've had no experience with this whatsoever, and I'm not the best person to ask..." *looks at dannyboy!* ... Frankly if you have no experience with it then where are you getting your ideas from?

 

CYNICISMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE! It's not like I fancy every single girl I'm friends with, in fact have a ton of female friends perhaps more than lads. As for your advice thats precisely what has happened we exchanged a couple of texts about it and now everything is back to the way it was before had.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

CYNICISMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

You've become quite a Mr. Negative lately, haven't you? I don't know about other people, but having not had much relationship experience at 18 years old doesn't exactly make me feel successful. Maybe that's me having a twisted view of reality, I really don't know. But seeing your peers having much more success than yourself in a field you really want to be successful in never really did a man's self-esteem any good. I guess that's my confession of the day.

 

About the advice, a fresh perspective never really hurt, did it? It's not like I'm forcing people to do what I say. And I at least believe I have an idea what I'm talking about, based on what I've seen and tried to work out myself. Other people disagree with my advice, but at least it opens up for some debate which might shine some light on the advice given. How is that bad? I might learn something myself.

[jayseven]

GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE! It's not like I fancy every single girl I'm friends with, in fact have a ton of female friends perhaps more than lads. As for your advice thats precisely what has happened we exchanged a couple of texts about it and now everything is back to the way it was before had.

You've become quite a Mr. Negative lately, haven't you? I don't know about other people, but having not had much relationship experience at 18 years old doesn't exactly make me feel successful. Maybe that's me having a twisted view of reality, I really don't know. But seeing your peers having much more success than yourself in a field you really want to be successful in never really did a man's self-esteem any good. I guess that's my confession of the day.

 

About the advice, a fresh perspective never really hurt, did it? It's not like I'm forcing people to do what I say. And I at least believe I have an idea what I'm talking about, based on what I've seen and tried to work out myself. Other people disagree with my advice, but at least it opens up for some debate which might shine some light on the advice given. How is that bad? I might learn something myself.

 

I fell off my high horse and rolled into this rut ages ago. Sorry if I groan, sorry if I moan. Sorry if I'm not star-struck and hopeful.

 

Flameboy; I don't mean this to be a competition, nor need you prove yourself. I've had pretty much precisely the same relationship experience as you - knocked flat on my back just as many times. One time I liked this girl for months, and when I finally asked her if she shared my feelings she said "aw, if only you had asked me months ago! I did but now we're hardcore friends, dewd".

 

So I understand the pressure of choosing the right moment to take the step towards the answer, but I'm just saying that from the clues you passed on from her to us it never sounded like it was going anywhere.

 

Dannyboy; I understand what you are saying, and that to some extent having a strong moral compass and a well-founded understanding of human nature can lead to good advice. If my epigram was Word then how would we help rape victims? How could we offer guidance to people dealing with situations utterly unfamiliar?

 

While we offer the best insights that we can, I'm just saying that the advice is better coming from those who know. In between the lines I'm assaulting anyone who isn't me because they're behaving in ways I wouldn't, and I'm guilty of having an ego that needs bruising.

 

But while you attempt to offer a perspective to encourage debate or shed light on new ways of thinking, so do I. My cynical realist approach is just not commonly shared - or much appreciated.

 

But essentially, if and when I seek advice, I want the blunt and the cold just as much as I need the warm and the soft.

[flameboy]

I fell off my high horse and rolled into this rut ages ago. Sorry if I groan, sorry if I moan. Sorry if I'm not star-struck and hopeful.

 

Flameboy; I don't mean this to be a competition, nor need you prove yourself. I've had pretty much precisely the same relationship experience as you - knocked flat on my back just as many times. One time I liked this girl for months, and when I finally asked her if she shared my feelings she said "aw, if only you had asked me months ago! I did but now we're hardcore friends, dewd".

 

So I understand the pressure of choosing the right moment to take the step towards the answer, but I'm just saying that from the clues you passed on from her to us it never sounded like it was going anywhere.

 

 

Ok I take your musings for what they are. I dunno it is hard to tell, I mean she was really nice and stuff and we spent a lot of our spare time together and were texting constantly until we went to sleep so you look at it that way and it seemed wierd perhaps she is just like that with everyone...

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I fell off my high horse and rolled into this rut ages ago. Sorry if I groan, sorry if I moan. Sorry if I'm not star-struck and hopeful.

 

Flameboy; I don't mean this to be a competition, nor need you prove yourself. I've had pretty much precisely the same relationship experience as you - knocked flat on my back just as many times. One time I liked this girl for months, and when I finally asked her if she shared my feelings she said "aw, if only you had asked me months ago! I did but now we're hardcore friends, dewd".

 

So I understand the pressure of choosing the right moment to take the step towards the answer, but I'm just saying that from the clues you passed on from her to us it never sounded like it was going anywhere.

 

Dannyboy; I understand what you are saying, and that to some extent having a strong moral compass and a well-founded understanding of human nature can lead to good advice. If my epigram was Word then how would we help rape victims? How could we offer guidance to people dealing with situations utterly unfamiliar?

 

While we offer the best insights that we can, I'm just saying that the advice is better coming from those who know. In between the lines I'm assaulting anyone who isn't me because they're behaving in ways I wouldn't, and I'm guilty of having an ego that needs bruising.

 

But while you attempt to offer a perspective to encourage debate or shed light on new ways of thinking, so do I. My cynical realist approach is just not commonly shared - or much appreciated.

 

But essentially, if and when I seek advice, I want the blunt and the cold just as much as I need the warm and the soft.

See, it's perfectly possible to channel your thoughts and advice into a nice and constructive post that doesn't make you seem like a cynical, old git.

 

I understand your point completely. I myself was in a valley at the time, and your post just nagged the heck out of me. I think you're very much aware of this, but your rhetoric do have a tendency to piss people off despite your reasoning often being very sound and sensible. There's a reason I voted you as most respected member: I've come to realise I have a deep respect for your opinions and takes on life. But damn it, you can be provocate at times! :p We just have to keep that in mind when debating with you.

[Beast]

Confession:

After eight months, I deleted my ex's photos on my phone and I found it seriously difficult to do (I know, too long). She was my first love and it's totally over between us and I'd never put myself through the heartache but there's a tiny part of me that would. I'm still a little in love with her and I kind of hate her, could this be because she was my first love? I'm happy I did it though, it made me feel I've made a step forward and moved on.

 

Advice:

I want to be in a relationship again. I just miss having someone to be there for and knowing that someone would be there for me. Thing is, I have no idea where to meet girls because I always end up trying to get girls who either have boyfriends or kids. To all the fellas who have/had girlfriends, where did you meet yours?

[flameboy]

Confession:

After eight months, I deleted my ex's photos on my phone and I found it seriously difficult to do (I know, too long). She was my first love and it's totally over between us and I'd never put myself through the heartache but there's a tiny part of me that would. I'm still a little in love with her and I kind of hate her, could this be because she was my first love? I'm happy I did it though, it made me feel I've made a step forward and moved on.

 

Advice:

I want to be in a relationship again. I just miss having someone to be there for and knowing that someone would be there for me. Thing is, I have no idea where to meet girls because I always end up trying to get girls who either have boyfriends or kids. To all the fellas who have/had girlfriends, where did you meet yours?

 

I met my long term girlfriend who I split with early this year at uni she lived next door, girl who I briefly saw in May I met at work. I have to admit I find myself facing the same problem. I'm thinking friend of a friend type thing or heaven forbid.... dating websites, urgh maybe not.

[Gizmo]

I still have the text messages from girl-I-go-on-about-alot from when we hooked up for one night. I read them when depressed and/or drunk.

 

I dunno, I kinda have a good feeling about the new Facebook girl. Hopefully I can bump into her at school even though I'm not in any of her classes and have a chat irl, then hopefully again we can both be at the same party at some point in the near future. This is my tactic when it comes to girls.

 

Heres hoping?