The Confessions and Advice Thread

[flameboy]

I didn't do it...she was only round for like an hour and we had to dash to the shops to help her get some last few xmas presents! So despite my best efforts just really didn't have time at all!

 

However I'd written her a card in case I didn't have time to do it, so she is now in possession of an xmas card that tells her how I feel...She's actually now coming back later as she forgot to collect some photos of when we went to Africa, but with the card in her bag its done I guess... Can't say gimme the card back I wanna have a word with you...guess it means either she'll read it very soon or leave it till xmas day...

[Gizmo]

Good luck flamester

[ReZourceman]

Oh nice, good luck dude. Report back asap.

[flameboy]

She isn't coming back round later...someone who lives down the road is going to take the photos to the band job with them...saves her adding half an hour onto her journey home for xmas so makes sense...spoke to her on the phone and she sounding fine jokey and stuff so don't think she has read it. she's quite a traditionalist when it comes to xmas so can imagine her not opening card till xmas....

[Beast]

Hehe, I'm actually the same in many respects. At least I don't care about popular opinion, I like what I like and stand by it - even if others find it ridiculous or embarrassing. :p To dare be yourself is cool!

 

... That being said, I'm still not the biggest fan of Twilight.

 

Couldn't agree more!

 

And it's your choice and opinion that you don't like Twilight and I respect that. Which is something people nowadays never seem to understand.

 

defensive much? Didn't you squeal with delight when your ex bought you Hairspray?

 

LOL, I weren't being defensive. I was just saying

 

I didn't squeal but I was happy because she actually listened! lmao. I told my friends to not get me anything (and I do mean it when I say it) and, because my friends keep on getting me stuff I can't use, I don't see the point. I told my ex that most of the time, I can't use the stuff they get me (she got me a big tin of Quality Streets last year but I didn't tell her I couldn't eat them) but she listened to what I said and got me something I could enjoy...for once, lol.

 

Hence why I was happy :p

 

Which brings me to another confession...

 

Confession:

I LOATHE getting either smellies or chocolates for Christmas. I put a lot of thought into what I get people and they just get me smellies (which I have too much of and I can't use some because I had some weird rash under my arms when I use some of them. I seem to be OK with Lynx but they get me the cheap kind) or chocolates (which I can't eat because I'm watching my weight so they go to my family instead).

They know I can't use the smellies and they know I don't eat chocolate so why do they get them me?

 

Does anyone else have a similar problem to this?

 

...by the way, I give people dirty looks when they don't wash their hands too.

Edited December 19, 2009 by Animal

[flameboy]

Well things didn't really go as planned, she read my card and has sent me an email:

 

Hello!

 

I have read the card and really don't know what to say! I don't want you to hate yourself or regret anything, things happen for a reason, as people say! You did what you thought was right at the time and there is no point trying to change the past and you have done what you think is right now by telling me how you feel. So i can only do the same in return. I really value your friendship and over the past few months you have become one of my best friends. You supported me whilst Neil was ill, as he was dying and after he had gone and for that i will be eternally grateful! Our travels to Africa were amazing which created memories i will never forget. However, i don't feel i can offer you anything more than friendship. I don't want things to change and really hope they don't as i enjoy our time together as friends.

 

Lots of love

Eleanor

xxx

 

P.S Seen as though you chickened out, i thought i would as well by sending an email! Hope you don't mind!

 

P.P.S Hope i haven't upset you.

 

P.P.P.S Smile

 

Not much room for maneuver really I don't think, what a shitter, am gutted.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

*gives man hug*

[Beast]

Aww mate, I'm sorry. We've all been there, dude. We share your pain. Keep your chin up, there's plenty more fish in the sea...

 

[MoogleViper]

Well things didn't really go as planned, she read my card and has sent me an email:

 

 

 

Not much room for maneuver really I don't think, what a shitter, am gutted.

 

Well at least you now know. Send her an email back saying something like;

 

"Thank you for your understanding. I too value our friendship and would like to keep it. I'd much rather have you as a friend than not at all."

 

Or something. Although I'm not sure about that last sentence. Don't use that. But basically tell her that you still want to be friends.

 

This is of course assuming you haven't already.

[flameboy]

Well at least you now know. Send her an email back saying something like;

 

"Thank you for your understanding. I too value our friendship and would like to keep it. I'd much rather have you as a friend than not at all."

 

Or something. Although I'm not sure about that last sentence. Don't use that. But basically tell her that you still want to be friends.

 

This is of course assuming you haven't already.

 

I sent her a text saying: "Hi, I just read your email and its kinda wot i expected,but still i felt i had to tell u, even tho i want more,im sure we will be ok, our friendship has survived much worse. U ok?X"

 

she replied

"yeah, i am fine. just really sorry I can't give you what you want and not making you happy.Xxx"

 

to which I replied:

 

"you don't need to feel sorry. u can't help the way u feel, much like I can't, our friendship means so much 2 me, don't want u to think it doesn't,X"

 

and then thats its..a few minutes ago she sent me a random text about going to get her highbrows plucked so seems like things are back to the way they were beforehand...bad times.

[MoogleViper]

I sent her a text saying: "Hi, I just read your email and its kinda wot i expected,but still i felt i had to tell u, even tho i want more,im sure we will be ok, our friendship has survived much worse. U ok?X"

 

she replied

"yeah, i am fine. just really sorry I can't give you what you want and not making you happy.Xxx"

 

to which I replied:

 

"you don't need to feel sorry. u can't help the way u feel, much like I can't, our friendship means so much 2 me, don't want u to think it doesn't,X"

 

and then thats its..a few minutes ago she sent me a random text about going to get her highbrows plucked so seems like things are back to the way they were beforehand...bad times.

 

Well at least you're still friends. Besides I usually find that when you like somebody and then they tell you that they don't like you that way, it usually helps you to "get over them" so to speak.

[flameboy]

Well at least you're still friends. Besides I usually find that when you like somebody and then they tell you that they don't like you that way, it usually helps you to "get over them" so to speak.

 

Yeah guess things would be a whole lot awful if she was being horrible about it but I knew she wasn't going to be.

[Wesley]

Does she not realise she's missing out on Flamey goodness?

 

Sorry to hear man.

 

I think most guys have been through at one point or another.

[flameboy]

Does she not realise she's missing out on Flamey goodness?

 

Sorry to hear man.

 

I think most guys have been through at one point or another.

 

I know I'd be so nice and everything, take her out for a little date; meal, few drinks.

 

Yeah I've been through it myself before, my record currently stands at had 2 proper long term girlfriends, one short term relationship with a fucking psycho and finally 4 instances such as this where I've told a girl how I felt and been rejected. I'd settle for finding that one someone special...

[nightwolf]

 

 

Which brings me to another confession...

 

Confession:

I LOATHE getting either smellies or chocolates for Christmas. I put a lot of thought into what I get people and they just get me smellies (which I have too much of and I can't use some because I had some weird rash under my arms when I use some of them. I seem to be OK with Lynx but they get me the cheap kind) or chocolates (which I can't eat because I'm watching my weight so they go to my family instead).

They know I can't use the smellies and they know I don't eat chocolate so why do they get them me?

 

Does anyone else have a similar problem to this?

 

...by the way, I give people dirty looks when they don't wash their hands too.

 

Yes, I can't use smellies either, alot of things including lush products cause me endless skin problems and as much as I love chocolate I see it as a cop out. Last year for christmas I had the same problem and ended up crying over the gifts I recieved.

 

I spent a massive amount of effort getting my housemates good thoughtful gifts to be given joke mugs from the pair of them. I was slightly heart broken when I opened them given I'd spend £50 between them on books/games/scarves.

 

Luckily my housemate this year got me a very thoughtful gift, something I happened to really like (its a 50's cooking set, very retro, even included cookie dough mix). Alot of the time though, apart from last year I've always been thankful I do get presents, even if they aren't stuff I would neccessarily use.

[Gizmo]

Well, at least she was good about the way she reacted. I've had both a reaction like that, and a bad one, so although it didn't go aswell as you'd planned at least nothing has gone wrong. As so many people have said (and I really should practice what I preach) - regret the things you did do, not what you didnt! And in this case, theres nothing to regret now that you have done it

[Raining_again]

Aw she seems lovely. Perhaps its a good thing that you are still friends. You know you will always have that friendship, wereas relationships aren't always certain.. and can end up bitter.

[flameboy]

Aw she seems lovely. Perhaps its a good thing that you are still friends. You know you will always have that friendship, wereas relationships aren't always certain.. and can end up bitter.

 

Yeah she is...

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I've experienced practically the same as you, even down to the things she said to me. Still, it's the "best" sort of rejection you can get. As tough as it is, you gotta move on and find another. Plenty of fish in the sea, she doesn't know what she's missing and all that.

 

Oh, and on the chocolate thing: If people can't find something fitting for me, I always welcome chocolate! I think I'm addicted to sugar, cookies, cake, sweets etc. But I like it to be quality stuff, though.

[Molly]

@ Flamey, sorry to hear that I too have been there, please don't do what I did which was to ask again a few months later.

 

Hypothetical situation. Say you're in a wine shop on a Sunday afternoon, we'll call it Majestic. There's a hot guy walking around browsing and picking up wine, you keep passing each other and sharing a ''lustful glance''. I am actually laughing as I type this. Anyway. How do you start talking to him without sounding completely desperate? He should have talked to me, I am no good with this stuff. Again, alone, forever

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

@ Flamey, sorry to hear that I too have been there, please don't do what I did which was to ask again a few months later.

 

Hypothetical situation. Say you're in a wine shop on a Sunday afternoon, we'll call it Majestic. There's a hot guy walking around browsing and picking up wine, you keep passing each other and sharing a ''lustful glance''. I am actually laughing as I type this. Anyway. How do you start talking to him without sounding completely desperate? He should have talked to me, I am no good with this stuff. Again, alone, forever

Well, (and this is again from someone without much experience) you could always try making a joke out of it. That way you can pursue it, but also dismiss it as a bit of fun as a way out. If I was the guy it happened to, I know I'd appreciate both outcomes (though naturally one more than the other ).

[Ashley]

@ Flamey, sorry to hear that I too have been there, please don't do what I did which was to ask again a few months later.

 

Hypothetical situation. Say you're in a wine shop on a Sunday afternoon, we'll call it Majestic. There's a hot guy walking around browsing and picking up wine, you keep passing each other and sharing a ''lustful glance''. I am actually laughing as I type this. Anyway. How do you start talking to him without sounding completely desperate? He should have talked to me, I am no good with this stuff. Again, alone, forever

 

You could have asked him if he could recommend any particular bottles.

 

Or "how about we go drink all this wine [because Majestic is 6 bottles minimum isn't it?] and see what happens?"

[Molly]

You could have asked him if he could recommend any particular bottles.

This is a good one, I even thought about doing this but there were more staff milling about than customers, it still would have felt ridiculous!

 

"how about we go drink all this wine and see what happens?"

That just screams slut, haha.

 

My friend at work suggested I go to Majestic every Sunday until he falls in love with me, heh. I need to grow a pair, as usual. Metaphorically, before you start

[Ashley]

This is a good one, I even thought about doing this but there were more staff milling about than customers, it still would have felt ridiculous!

 

 

That just screams slut, haha.

 

My friend at work suggested I go to Majestic every Sunday until he falls in love with me, heh. I need to grow a pair, as usual. Metaphorically, before you start

 

Yeah but asking a person, as opposed to staff, is less likely to lead to a sales pitch.

 

And I hope that was a collective you. I don't make "hehe testicles" jokes...that's Dan.

 

And if you do see him regularly on Sundays then you could, after a few weeks, say "we keep bumping into each other. Either its kismet or we both have a drinking problem."

[Molly]

Yeah but asking a person, as opposed to staff, is less likely to lead to a sales pitch.

 

And I hope that was a collective you. I don't make "hehe testicles" jokes...that's Dan.

 

And if you do see him regularly on Sundays then you could, after a few weeks, say "we keep bumping into each other. Either its kismet or we both have a drinking problem."

All very good points. It was a collective you, don't worry :p