tapedeck

Seriously. Help!

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Ok, kinda a strange place to ask for this kind of advice but I need some help fellow N-E buddies... I know it's long but I'm at a loss...

 

As a few of you know I recently split up with my fiance of 3yrs as things weren't working out. However, it came to my attention that she had made friends with a guy a few months before we split. It made sense in my mind that she had changed a good few months prior to our break up too. So I demanded to know about him.

 

She (alongside her friends) assured me that the guy was gay and I had nothing to worry about in regards to him splitting us up. She also said that she still had feelings for me but the stresses of university and our differing personalities had made her realise we weren't going to spend the rest of our lives together. So then we still met up for drinks and talked about life in general and how we were moving on. But I then noticed she had a photo of him in her purse and asked why this was the case. She said she would throw them away. I then noticed that, around a month earlier I'd printed off this photo for her as she said it was one of her best friends. I presumed it was ok to let a girl have a friend and not be overly posessive. But I never clicked and realised that this was the same guy!

 

Anyway, we split up and stil spoke (which we both agreed was the right thing to do considering how much time we had spent together/all of the things we'd done/dreams we'd shared.) However, she called me a few weeks ago and was crying and apologising all of the time and said she had slept with this guy but can only remember bumping into him in town and she had asked him to 'stop' but she feels he forced himself on her. I said go to the doctors asap and never speak to him again. I also said you make your bed you lie in it and take some responsibility etc...

 

So, as if that wasn't upsetting enough I get a text last night saying she was goin out and we would meet up tomorrow (today) and potentially discuss how verything went wrong and how she realises she misses me/wants to sort things out etc....I said "fair enough" and then I got another text from her phone saying "I can't believe you broke my relationship up with X" (X being this supposedly gay bloke).

 

I was pretty shocked but figured he must have been out in the bar/pub whatever and text me from her phone. (Perhaps nievely I don't know). So, jokingly I replied "You told me you wanted to get back together and he had AIDS".

 

There was no reply.

 

Later she called me saying she was texting a friend, he came up to her in the bar (with her friends around her) grabbed her phone and ran off with it. I called bullshit but she kept on promising it was true (citing the fact she was earlier texting me/spoke to me saying she wanted to sort things out.)

 

Later that night she tet me saying "he says he's going to hack your facebook". I lolled.

 

Next thing I know, it's today. I wake up, try to check my Googlemail and no luck. Passwords not working. I go to Hotmail, to reset my googlemail and it doesn't work. MSN says my password has changed. Googlemail, Finally I go to Facebook. Same again. Nothing works. Only here (Atm!)

 

So I text her saying I need to get into my e-mails to do my university work and get into my hotmail to print off my online insurance document for my car. She replies "I told you he would".

 

I've just text her saying I demand to know where he lives as I'm going to go to his house with a bunch of my mates. I've never met the guy, I'm at the end of my tether with both of them and I'm actually really upset that there are some seemingly petty yet serious life-wrecking processes going on.

 

What can I do? :(

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Ok, kinda a strange place to ask for this kind of advice but I need some help fellow N-E buddies... I know it's long but I'm at a loss...

 

As a few of you know I recently split up with my fiance of 3yrs as things weren't working out. However, it came to my attention that she had made friends with a guy a few months before we split. It made sense in my mind that she had changed a good few months prior to our break up too. So I demanded to know about him.

 

She (alongside her friends) assured me that the guy was gay and I had nothing to worry about in regards to him splitting us up. She also said that she still had feelings for me but the stresses of university and our differing personalities had made her realise we weren't going to spend the rest of our lives together. So then we still met up for drinks and talked about life in general and how we were moving on. But I then noticed she had a photo of him in her purse and asked why this was the case. She said she would throw them away. I then noticed that, around a month earlier I'd printed off this photo for her as she said it was one of her best friends. I presumed it was ok to let a girl have a friend and not be overly posessive. But I never clicked and realised that this was the same guy!

 

Anyway, we split up and stil spoke (which we both agreed was the right thing to do considering how much time we had spent together/all of the things we'd done/dreams we'd shared.) However, she called me a few weeks ago and was crying and apologising all of the time and said she had slept with this guy but can only remember bumping into him in town and she had asked him to 'stop' but she feels he forced himself on her. I said go to the doctors asap and never speak to him again. I also said you make your bed you lie in it and take some responsibility etc...

 

So, as if that wasn't upsetting enough I get a text last night saying she was goin out and we would meet up tomorrow (today) and potentially discuss how verything went wrong and how she realises she misses me/wants to sort things out etc....I said "fair enough" and then I got another text from her phone saying "I can't believe you broke my relationship up with X" (X being this supposedly gay bloke).

 

I was pretty shocked but figured he must have been out in the bar/pub whatever and text me from her phone. (Perhaps nievely I don't know). So, jokingly I replied "You told me you wanted to get back together and he had AIDS".

 

There was no reply.

 

Later she called me saying she was texting a friend, he came up to her in the bar (with her friends around her) grabbed her phone and ran off with it. I called bullshit but she kept on promising it was true (citing the fact she was earlier texting me/spoke to me saying she wanted to sort things out.)

 

Later that night she tet me saying "he says he's going to hack your facebook". I lolled.

 

Next thing I know, it's today. I wake up, try to check my Googlemail and no luck. Passwords not working. I go to Hotmail, to reset my googlemail and it doesn't work. MSN says my password has changed. Googlemail, Finally I go to Facebook. Same again. Nothing works. Only here (Atm!)

 

So I text her saying I need to get into my e-mails to do my university work and get into my hotmail to print off my online insurance document for my car. She replies "I told you he would".

 

I've just text her saying I demand to know where he lives as I'm going to go to his house with a bunch of my mates. I've never met the guy, I'm at the end of my tether with both of them and I'm actually really upset that there are some seemingly petty yet serious life-wrecking processes going on.

 

What can I do? :(

How did he change your passwords?

Personaly i would take a few friends around to his house, or go find him.

Make him explain himself.

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What can you do or what should you do?

 

Personally I feel when this is sorted out it may be best to try and just avoid her completely. All the drama she's bought about because what, she was unsure/bored? Of course, I have no idea how you feel about her and I'd imagine three years with someone is difficult to just write off.

 

As far as the technical side.

 

Make sure that the email associated with your account is secure.

 

If you're having trouble logging in with your normal email and password, try resetting your password using the link on the login page. An email will be sent to you with steps for completing the process.

 

If the email on your account has been changed, or if you are unable to access your profile, please send us information about the account so we can look into it further and hopefully restore access. Please submit your report here.

 

Presumably there is similar for gmail and stuff. And it may be worthwhile upping your password on here and for the site.

 

Sorry to hear about all this dude.

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I have no idea how the passwords have been changed. She says he's a regular haxxor. He did it to her account a few months ago and deleted a lot of her friends he didn't like. - including me.

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Any chance finding his ISP, as im sure they all outline him doing this. If you can get proof he's done such things (screencap all your "your passwords have been changed" stuff, speak to other friends who were deleted) and speak to his ISP.

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Any chance finding his ISP, as im sure they all outline him doing this. If you can get proof he's done such things (screencap all your "your passwords have been changed" stuff, speak to other friends who were deleted) and speak to his ISP.

 

I suggest also getting in touch with the various things that would be fubar'ed by not being able to get into your accounts, and, if he's gotten into your Paypal and you're feeling like a nice big slice of revenge, the police.

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I don't think ISPs have any power if he got the through social engineering or what ever its called now.

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Are you sure she didnt know your password or would have known the answer to your secret question?

 

She knew my hotmail. which in turn is linked to my g/mail. Which is linked to my facebook.

 

I just phoned her phone. He answered. Said I get everything I deserve for being a rapist and he knows where I live and says I'm gonna be in hospital as he knows someone who likes to play with fire.

 

Now I'm just angry. There's obviously one person to blame here. Her.

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Shit mate.

 

Sorry i don't really know what 2 suggest. Erm, In the longterm i would stay away from her (i don't know how possible this is) she just seems to be bringing trouble 2 u even though u are not even together anymore even if it means changing ur phone number etc.

 

For the now i would say it would be a good idea to speak 2 this bloke, take ur mates as backup incase he becomes nasty but u need to know what his problem is. There is also the possiblity she is stringing eveything along and he may not know much about it.

 

She knew my hotmail. which in turn is linked to my g/mail. Which is linked to my facebook.

 

I just phoned her phone. He answered. Said I get everything I deserve for being a rapist and he knows where I live and says I'm gonna be in hospital as he knows someone who likes to play with fire.

 

Now I'm just angry. There's obviously one person to blame here. Her.

 

Just now read this post. Obviously it is down to her bull shit games then.

 

He may be bluffing but it is a threat, i would say call the police. They can advise what is the best thing for u to do. If something bad does happen to u, they will know where to start looking.

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She knew my hotmail. which in turn is linked to my g/mail. Which is linked to my facebook.

 

I just phoned her phone. He answered. Said I get everything I deserve for being a rapist and he knows where I live and says I'm gonna be in hospital as he knows someone who likes to play with fire.

 

Now I'm just angry. There's obviously one person to blame here. Her.

 

Hold on, now you're the rapist? I thought she told you some other guy forced himself on her? The original story didn't make all the world's sense to me, but I think I got the jist of things.

As far as being some uber leet haxxor goes, I'm pretty sure hotmail, gmail and facebook can't be too easily hacked beyond brute force, so I'm guessing it was done through recovery questions, or someone actually knowing your password(which is why you never tell anyone your passwords, even the people you intend to spend the rest of your lives with!). The stupidity of technology all being tied together is quite ridiculous though, I think if someone got into my hotmail, they could take over everything I know.

 

As for the actual matter at hand, I agree that you should at least inform the police of the occurences, but most importantly the threat. Then, as someone said, if anything DOES happen they'll start to take things seriously, even if they don't at first.

I'd say if you can, try and find out more/as much as you can about this guy, I'm assuming you know who he is by what he looks like or so? Find out from her, from facebook, from everywhere, just find out who he is and as much as you can about him. I don't recommend taking mates round to his house, you don't know what he's like, and you don't know what retribution there will be. You also don't know that this isn't just all her doing neither, it could be an innocent guy pinned with the blame for her own doings and actions. It's a thoroughly shit situation, but I hope it all works out cool for you :(.

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She knew my hotmail. which in turn is linked to my g/mail. Which is linked to my facebook.

 

I just phoned her phone. He answered. Said I get everything I deserve for being a rapist and he knows where I live and says I'm gonna be in hospital as he knows someone who likes to play with fire.

 

Now I'm just angry. There's obviously one person to blame here. Her.

 

I'm sorry to hear about this dude, but yeah, from what you told us, I'd say she is the one to blame (but do you know if he's shit-stirring and lying to you?).

 

Anyways, just change your simcard, create a new e-mail address, create a new facebook and that (if you put a picture of yourself on there, don't do it for a few months, til everything cools down) tell the friends you trust (not her mates just in case they might tell the guy) and never speak to her or that guy again because to be fair, it sounds like they're hassling you and that's something nobody needs in life.

 

If he carries on harassing you, do what you said earlier, get a few mates with you. You saw a photo of this guy, right? What did he look like? Big? Thin? Could you take him on in a fight if it came to it? And if you're going out, stay in public places so there are witnesses about.

 

Can't you report it to the police for harrassment?

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Can't you report it to the police for harrassment?

 

Should probably do this imo.

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My advice would be contrary. People who fight fight because they think they're bigger and better than the other guy, but eventually you'll get your arse kicked by someone bigger and better than you who'll put you back in your place. You gotta try and keep cool, because whoever's playing you in all this(your ex, the guy) they're clearly no fool and you don't know what sort of agenda they're running. They're definitely not stupid, what if you turn up at his house with a load of mates, to find yourself nicked by the police cos he's reported YOU as threatening to do something to him? It wouldn't be true, but it'd be a mighty fine coincidence for the police, don't do anything stupid or illegal, unless you 100% sure you're gonna get away with it.

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Is this the tosser who was threatening to smash up your Wii whilst it was at your ex's house? To me it sounds like she gave him the information to crack your accounts. I'd change all your other passwords (such as Paypal, eBay, Amazon, Game, Play) immediately so there's no chance of him finding your bank details.

 

It's pretty awful though, I don't know what else to suggest. Given the chance, I'd take up the offer of getting friends to smash his head in, although that bears a risk of him getting the police involved. I don't know where you stand legally on this hacking business, either.

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They both sound like loons to me. I'd try the police, surely they can act on a threat? Even if he isn't serious about it, it does seem the way to go.

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Is this the tosser who was threatening to smash up your Wii whilst it was at your ex's house? To me it sounds like she gave him the information to crack your accounts. I'd change all your other passwords (such as Paypal, eBay, Amazon, Game, Play) immediately so there's no chance of him finding your bank details.

 

It's pretty awful though, I don't know what else to suggest. Given the chance, I'd take up the offer of getting friends to smash his head in, although that bears a risk of him getting the police involved. I don't know where you stand legally on this hacking business, either.

 

I have little to base this on, but I'm pretty sure he won't stand too well with it legally. Unfortunately there are no internet police, and I don't imagine the police being all up to date with internet and technology related crime, the laws just aren't there or well known enough, and who's gonna bring it to justice? It's gonna require alot of investigation, and it's also easy to hide on the internets. Until money's involved, it's pretty much just gonna be nothing to them. I don't know why shit things like this happen to good people, pisses me off royally that there's shits in the world getting away with being such massive shits.

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I'm not the fighting type at all but this has me so enraged. I got my best mate to call her (he knew her) and he spoke to her and said I was going to the police (which I'm not atm) and is going to report them for identity fraud online as I have screen caps and txt message threats to back it all up.

 

She then text me saying "I'll reset all of your passwords if only I never hear from you or see you again, if I do - I'll go straight to the police and tell them you raped me". (Update = p/w's working)

 

Pretty stupid considering A) I never raped her. B) I don't even know if he is texting from her phone. Especially as he kept calling me a rapist when I called.

 

I'm mulling over the idea of going to see her parents in an hour or so (return some stuff) then show them the texts and explain the threats. I told my grandad (I live with my Grandparents and my gran is disabled so never told her) about the threats and he says if I don't sort it out he is going to go to the police station with me in tow.

 

I also had a missed call on my phone last night from her phone. I listened to it to see what the crack was (and I also wanted to hear her voice for the last time) and all it was was just someone making a shit load of noise then a frail "hello?" from her. I'm now beside myself with worry :( Should I leave it or when I go to her parents should I ask if everything is ok at home?

 

It's an awful situation tbh. All I ever wanted was happiness with her. All i ever gave was 100% with those seemingly stupid things like flowers nicked from an OAP's garden on the way to her house, a post-it note in her file saying "Love you". God, again, I guess love really will tear us apart.

 

All of your posts have made me feel a lot better though. At least I can find refuge here at N-E. Thanks guys - you really are a great bunch.

 

And Tellyn: Yeah, the same (psycho) guy. I mean, who threatens a wii!!

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I'm not the fighting type at all but this has me so enraged. I got my best mate to call her (he knew her) and he spoke to her and said I was going to the police (which I'm not atm) and is going to report them for identity fraud online as I have screen caps and txt message threats to back it all up.

 

She then text me saying "I'll reset all of your passwords if only I never hear from you or see you again, if I do - I'll go straight to the police and tell them you raped me". (Update = p/w's working)

 

Pretty stupid considering A) I never raped her. B) I don't even know if he is texting from her phone. Especially as he kept calling me a rapist when I called.

 

I'm mulling over the idea of going to see her parents in an hour or so (return some stuff) then show them the texts and explain the threats. I told my grandad (I live with my Grandparents and my gran is disabled so never told her) about the threats and he says if I don't sort it out he is going to go to the police station with me in tow.

 

I also had a missed call on my phone last night from her phone. I listened to it to see what the crack was (and I also wanted to hear her voice for the last time) and all it was was just someone making a shit load of noise then a frail "hello?" from her. I'm now beside myself with worry :( Should I leave it or when I go to her parents should I ask if everything is ok at home?

 

It's an awful situation tbh. Al I ever wanted was happiness. All i eer gave was 100% with those seemingly stupid things like flowers nicked from an OAP's garden on the way to her house, a post-it note in her file saying "Love you". God, love will tear us apart.

 

All of your posts have made me feel a lot better though. At least I can find refuge here at N-E. Thanks guys - you really are a great bunch.

 

And Tellyn: Yeah, the same (psycho) guy. I mean, who threatens a wii!!

 

Hopefully things should get better now then. Your best bet is just to avoid her, nothing but trouble.

 

Another option u can have as backup is still report the incident to the police about the threats etc but make it clear u don't want any action taken as it should be getting sorted, but u want it on record so if anything happens in the future they can refer back to this incident to back it up kinda thing.

 

Hope it all works out ok for u anyway, whatever u decide to do.

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They both sound like loons to me. I'd try the police, surely they can act on a threat? Even if he isn't serious about it, it does seem the way to go.

 

What he said.

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She then text me saying "I'll reset all of your passwords if only I never hear from you or see you again, if I do - I'll go straight to the police and tell them you raped me". (Update = p/w's working)

 

If you secure all your passwords I'd probably settle for this situation. She sounds insane and I'd quickly cut all ties to her.

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What a bitch, she sounds awful, although you knew that already.

 

Can you not get the passwords reset yourself? I wouldn't want her in my life anyway!

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I'd report it to the police like mike said, but don't take action just yet. Get new accounts on everything that's been hacked, and move on forget this girl.

 

 

Seems like she's hell bent on trying to wreck things, or she would have told this dude to wise up already.

 

Sheesh, why can't this dickhead leave things alone, doesn't sound like you've done a thing to deserve this whatsoever.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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To be fair, I'd be really upset if someone spread a rumour/said I had AIDS, just based on the fact I was gay.

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