tapedeck

Seriously. Help!

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To be fair, I'd be really upset if someone spread a rumour/said I had AIDS, just based on the fact I was gay.

 

But then you haven't done anything to deserve it :)

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Wow, crazy situation.

 

Well honestly, I too believe going to the police is the best way to go. If I understood the whole story, she's claiming to have had her phone stolen by the guy, and considering he's harassing you and making false accusations, and you even have evidence of all that, I'd say you have a good case here.

 

Or you could try talking to him face to face. Demand him to stop, threaten to call the police if he continues, basically try to intimidate him.

 

All of this if it's just him. Try to see if she's involved as well (although it sounds like it was just stupidity on her part).

 

Either way, she pretty much broke your trust, no? Definately do your best to get away from her.

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She then text me saying "I'll reset all of your passwords if only I never hear from you or see you again, if I do - I'll go straight to the police and tell them you raped me".

 

I can't believe she said that! That's just plain outrageous!

 

It's a shame you can't get her back in her own game and record a conversation on your phone about her admitting she's lying about the rape thing...

 

But yeah, I would totally move on. She's no good! If it was me, I would never want anything to do with anything associated to her ever again because it's only going to give you hassle for the rest of your life.

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I don't know what her parents were like but I think it would be a good idea to show them what a psychopathic bitch she is. You think they'd believe you if you showed them the texts and that they came from her number?

 

To be fair, I'd be really upset if someone spread a rumour/said I had AIDS, just based on the fact I was gay.

 

Read into the context, it was the psycho dude who was actually on the phone, who had also previously threatened to have Tapedeck burned to death. It's not really a homophobic comment, and he said it directly to this guy so it's not a malicious rumour either.

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Read into the context, it was the psycho dude who was actually on the phone, who had also previously threatened to have Tapedeck burned to death. It's not really a homophobic comment, and he said it directly to this guy so it's not a malicious rumour either.

 

Yeah, I know, I'm just saying though.

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She knew my hotmail. which in turn is linked to my g/mail. Which is linked to my facebook.

 

I just phoned her phone. He answered. Said I get everything I deserve for being a rapist and he knows where I live and says I'm gonna be in hospital as he knows someone who likes to play with fire.

 

Now I'm just angry. There's obviously one person to blame here. Her.

 

Maybe I've missed something here, but is he accusing you of rape? Why?

 

Anyway, to me, this guy sounds like trouble. And, imo, she has to choose between you or him. It's pretty obvious that the both of you can't co-exist, especially if he's going around and deleting people from her facebook, stealing her phone, etc.

 

Now, as much as you love someone, you need to think of your own sanity. Assess the situation right now. Are you happy with the way things are? Obviously not. So, things need to change. What exactly is the problem? It sounds like this guy is trouble, but also she is bringing that trouble to you, as well. You've tried helping her, and I think her chances are running out.

 

She and her friends had told you that the guy was gay. Now, whilst the fact that his sexuality isn't the problem here, it's the fact that he has slept with her, had a "relationship with her", done a lot of nasty things, etc. What kind of person does that? He's trouble. Now, why isn't she staying from him? Maybe she isn't strong enough, but unless she finds that inner strength, he'll keep breaking her gently, and eventually she'll have nobody. No you, no friends and maybe no family. It's all about control.

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She then text me saying "I'll reset all of your passwords if only I never hear from you or see you again, if I do - I'll go straight to the police and tell them you raped me". (Update = p/w's working)

 

she could be arrested for faulse accusations if she does go to the police and you still have that message, because tbh if you did really rape her she would have gone to the cops long ago.

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I mean, who threatens a wii!!

 

Honestly, who throws a shoe?

 

Sorry, just trying to be light-hearted.

 

Honestly tapedeck, I think they're both trying to confuse you (I'm certainly confused!) You must get it into your head that they're your enemies. It sounds obvious and patronising, but I think the fact she was your girlfriend may have caused you to be a bit generous about her.

 

My general rule in life is "Involve the police when someone's done something illegal and be assertive at other times". Rummy is right that it's no good to go about fighting. I think you need a balance.

 

Personally, I would never attack anyone, nor would I go round anyone's house with aggressive intent. On the other hand, nor would I let anyone threaten me. Fighting is only for defending yourself, in my opinion. However, there's no harm in being strong and being able to fight if you ever need to, and I'd certainly give anyone a verbal telling off if they said the things to me that these two have said to you.

 

Be assertive, know when to defend yourself, know when to back off and know when to involve the police, that's my advice, tapedeck. All the best.

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This must really suck, but I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice as your situation is totally alien to me. One thing I will say is not to take the threat of her telling the police you raped her seriously - without a lot of evidence, nothing like that will hold up.

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This must really suck, but I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice as your situation is totally alien to me. One thing I will say is not to take the threat of her telling the police you raped her seriously - without a lot of evidence, nothing like that will hold up.

Accusations like this do cause a lot of problems though, and less evidence is needed than you might think.

If i was accused of this i would phone the police my self, straight away.

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This must really suck, but I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice as your situation is totally alien to me. One thing I will say is not to take the threat of her telling the police you raped her seriously - without a lot of evidence, nothing like that will hold up.

 

Although you're right saying he can't back it up, I would still take it pretty seriously. Not only because of the hassle it would cause with the law (if any), if this guy is spreading it around, then it could cause a lot of trouble from friends, people, etc.

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go kick his head in, nah lol, u should scare him though.

 

THat, or go get his laptop/pc and break it, serves him right for doin it.

 

Make sure she's alright, go see her or summin, sounds weird but she mite be getin "bullied" into all this :/

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go kick his head in, nah lol, u should scare him though.

 

THat, or go get his laptop/pc and break it, serves him right for doin it.

 

Although I'd probably do this myself if I was in that situation (so I'm a hot headed person, sue me) it's definately not the best course of action, hoping it was a joke, ideally.

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Accusations like this do cause a lot of problems though, and less evidence is needed than you might think.

If i was accused of this i would phone the police my self, straight away.

Although you're right saying he can't back it up, I would still take it pretty seriously. Not only because of the hassle it would cause with the law (if any), if this guy is spreading it around, then it could cause a lot of trouble from friends, people, etc.

Yes, I can see where you're both coming from, I'm just pointing out that its probably an empty threat. After all, you get in trouble for fabrication too.

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Do you know her address? If you do, I suggest you post a shit through her letterbox.

 

Failing that, plant some hardcore drugs on her and have her arrested. What a worthless person, she should be shot.

 

Please note- taking advice from my posts is never a good idea, but still nice.

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hum, the rape accusation is hard to prove, from my limited understanding of the law, youd be found innocent.

 

seriosuly though, his threats have gone to the relm of mallicious. i'd go to the police about it. threatening to burn your house down is a serious threat. actualy, if he makes it again, tell him you know some one who likes to play with samurai swords so his pyromaniac friend better be a fast runner (its techniqualy true, you know me and i do live close enough to come to aid, not that im in a hurry to get into some type of vendeta here)

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Well, some great words of wisdom there guys. I feel a smidgen better.

 

But still, this has to be one of the lowest moments in my life. For me to get with someone and actually propose to them and be engaged for 3 years was a huge thing for me (but somehow made sense at the time) so yeah. It's terrible.

 

However, I did go to her folks' house. Her grandparents were in and were delighted to see me. They asked why I hadn't been around for ages and how I was doing etc...They never knew we had split up (which I thought was pretty bad) and so were concerned. I took a lot of keepsakes/photos back to her house (as an excuse to go really) and I then told them about the whole ordeal about threats to my house and rape allegations. (Even showing her gran the texts)

 

They were, naturally shocked and said they had no idea about all of this going on. I then mentioned that she said he had hit her a few times and so they should ask to see the "supposed" bruises on her arms. They were obviously concerned as I tried to keep the tears back. I then said I wastruly heartbroken to lose her, and all of these threats just need to stop. Alongside her previous promises of wanting to get back together.

 

They were really nice to me and said as soon as she came home later that evening they would say something. Her mom was at work so no doubt they will tell her everything. However, knowing her parents - nothing will get done. Just a "you can't really say stuff like that". She is perhaps too spoilt at times. I'm seeing between the lines now! Y'know - the bits that are blurred when you fall in love!

 

Anyways, I sent one last text (stupidly perhaps) saying I just wanted to know where she had gone (metaphorically speaking) and that she knows I've never raped her and that she told me he had pushed sex on her previously. I got a reply saying that I should just go and kill myself then (as I had said she meant everything to me and nothing really matters at the moment without her involvement). And the last text said "who should I tell first that you raped me....the police or my dad".

 

At least I thought..."Gotcha...you can't pin shit on me because your bravado approach to this allegation (or even using it as leverage) is, quite frankly, evil and absurd and like others have said: Pure character deformation.

 

So in the meantime I've stopped crying citing that they aren't going to hurt me anymore. I've decided I will embrace new avenues and I will maybe go to the police about these allegations. Which, in reality seems like a damn good thing to do (what if she does it to someone else in the future!?!)

 

What a world.

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I think you've done the right thing by exposing what she's like to her family. If my daughter was doing this sorta thing, I'd want to know about it.

 

Anyway, keep your chin up, mate. :) You're gonna be just fine.

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Well, some great words of wisdom there guys. I feel a smidgen better.

 

But still, this has to be one of the lowest moments in my life. For me to get with someone and actually propose to them and be engaged for 3 years was a huge thing for me (but somehow made sense at the time) so yeah. It's terrible.

 

However, I did go to her folks' house. Her grandparents were in and were delighted to see me. They asked why I hadn't been around for ages and how I was doing etc...They never knew we had split up (which I thought was pretty bad) and so were concerned. I took a lot of keepsakes/photos back to her house (as an excuse to go really) and I then told them about the whole ordeal about threats to my house and rape allegations. (Even showing her gran the texts)

 

They were, naturally shocked and said they had no idea about all of this going on. I then mentioned that she said he had hit her a few times and so they should ask to see the "supposed" bruises on her arms. They were obviously concerned as I tried to keep the tears back. I then said I wastruly heartbroken to lose her, and all of these threats just need to stop. Alongside her previous promises of wanting to get back together.

 

They were really nice to me and said as soon as she came home later that evening they would say something. Her mom was at work so no doubt they will tell her everything. However, knowing her parents - nothing will get done. Just a "you can't really say stuff like that". She is perhaps too spoilt at times. I'm seeing between the lines now! Y'know - the bits that are blurred when you fall in love!

 

Anyways, I sent one last text (stupidly perhaps) saying I just wanted to know where she had gone (metaphorically speaking) and that she knows I've never raped her and that she told me he had pushed sex on her previously. I got a reply saying that I should just go and kill myself then (as I had said she meant everything to me and nothing really matters at the moment without her involvement). And the last text said "who should I tell first that you raped me....the police or my dad".

 

At least I thought..."Gotcha...you can't pin shit on me because your bravado approach to this allegation (or even using it as leverage) is, quite frankly, evil and absurd and like others have said: Pure character deformation.

 

So in the meantime I've stopped crying citing that they aren't going to hurt me anymore. I've decided I will embrace new avenues and I will maybe go to the police about these allegations. Which, in reality seems like a damn good thing to do (what if she does it to someone else in the future!?!)

 

What a world.

 

 

sounds like you actualy dodged a bullet by not marrying her.

 

and hey, if your still in durham (like your profile says) thats just about close enough that we could go for a beer and possibly dress up like eskimos.

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Ring the police, go round her house with them. Ask she opens the door and the police say "(name) can we come in and ask you some questions?" you come right close to her face and say:

 

"One of us is in deep trouble."

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and hey, if your still in durham (like your profile says) thats just about close enough that we could go for a beer and possibly dress up like eskimos.

 

I'm at Sunderland uni atm. Anytime mate.

 

 

Her dad has just come off the phone to me. He's on his way to this lads house and trusts what I said. I'm pleased tbh. I feel really shit like I have done something wrong but I guess that's just my heavy, hurting heart. This whole thing could explode tonight. I'm apprehensive yet strangely confident as I know I've done nothing wrong.

 

Ring the police, go round her house with them. Ask she opens the door and the police say "(name) can we come in and ask you some questions?" you come right close to her face and say:

 

"One of us is in deep trouble."

 

Pmsl.

 

 

10char

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Sheeeeeeeeeeit! O_O... First thing, how the fuck does a good guy like Tapedeck get involved and plan to MARRY such a bitch!? Jesus! This is... fucked up.

 

Above all, I'm just so sorry for you Tapedeck, I have experienced a near-break up recently so I know the sort of feelings involved. But first things first, you've just got to erase any niceties of her from your mind - she is your enemy now. Its kinda out of my league to give advice on the situation but on the mental side you can't be soft, show her no mercy in your dealings with her. This is the kind of shite that just messes up people for a lifetime...:( Sorry man.

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I'm at Sunderland uni atm. Anytime mate.

 

 

Her dad has just come off the phone to me. He's on his way to this lads house and trusts what I said. I'm pleased tbh. I feel really shit like I have done something wrong but I guess that's just my heavy, hurting heart. This whole thing could explode tonight. I'm apprehensive yet strangely confident as I know I've done nothing wrong.

 

10char

 

Keep us updated, i hope the dad gives him a slap. I think you should just txt her saying dont speak to me again, and leave it at that, dont speak to her, that'll piss her off no end.

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You've been her boyfriend for 3 years and people, including her family, can vouch for that. Hell, even CCTV would have picked you up enough times to prove it. So her saying you raped her...stupid bitch. It would be worth going to court over, only to watch her fail and be left with legal fees. What a stupid, pathetic, waste of fucking sperm and egg.

 

Man, being angry at people that I'm not even involved with is fun.

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