Posted April 28, 2008 twin thread time! post your 'favourites' here, preferably with a shining exmample of the highlights from the worst offenders. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 I have a personal hatred for the Sonic Adventure series of games. They don't make ANY sense at all. Why does Sonic live on a world full of humans? Is it meant to follow the Sonic X anime? Why doesn't anyone find a talking hedgehog strange? Robotnik was supposed to be created in a lab accident, why would he have relatives? Why was Shadow created to look like a giant Hedgehog? He's not a clone of Sonic. Sonic's meant to be the fastest thing alive, yet everyone can match his speed, these days all you need is some "hover boots" or something. Everything revolves around Chaos emeralds, the ability of which is never really explained, and somehow they all get lost between every game. They should either a) give up on even trying to tell a story, or b) get something other than a monkey to write the plot for the next one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 MGS makes me want to kill people. First one was really good up to a certain point but there's far too much of this "meaning of life" shit being flung around and it almost ruined a great story. MGS3 seemed to have a good idea over all but was completely the opposite. It was crap almost all the way through until the very last FMV that was very good (beginning section was pretty good too though). But cmon! Hours and hours of FMV? Fuck you Kojima! Every character in that game was pathetically shallow and generic. I don't think I need to explain my hate for the so called "bosses" in it either (man made of bees? ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 I hate RPG storylines (mostly) they are so fucking cliché, canned and over the top. Oh and basically anything from the Sonic series post 1998... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 haha sonic adventure games are *shocking*. Their case isn't helped by the *worst* voice acting I can remember and some truly, truly horrible music. What is it with Sega and shit hip hop with lyrics about the game on loop? drives me nuts. Personally, I hate Gears of war the most. "quick marcus fenix, man of wank names. Go with your oild up fuck buddy dom and use this sub woofer to map out a series of tunnels that span the entire crust of the planet" "oh ok sounds like a cool idea. Ok guys, lets take this really elaborate route to the mineshaft we need to go to. Fuck choppers, those are for pussies. Lets roll!" "oh shit, it didn't work. Guess we're fucked. Yeah, totally man." "no it's fine. Despite us risking our lives through hours and hours of utterly horrendous combat, including a nearly suicidal attack on the very heart of enemy territory, I'll take this oppotunity to reveal a map of the tunnels I've been carrying in my back pocket the entire fucking time i've been in the game. Oh yeah, and I got it from your dad's house. "oh ok. well I'll not question that- lets get to my dad's house again to get an even better map." "awesome" "ok guys, now we have the same map again, lets blow some shit up! hoo rah! "good work at getting us vital targeting data soldier, now get to the train station: we've strapped our massive doomsday bomb to a speeding train full of enemy troops and we're going to drive it off a cliff in to a giant pit. Now go and make sure that plan works by yourself because we don't have anyone guarding it either. The End Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Ninety-Nine-Nights. Too put it bluntly, it´s stupid... A lot about this game is stupid. Trauma Center: Under The Knife. Fun game but what the hell! Quick use your super magic power to slow time and remove there parasitic bugs that multiply at an stupidly fast rate. And defuse this bomb. What the fuck to they teach at medical schools? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Halo has a cliched, shitty plot to go with a cliched, shitty game. The Sonic Adventure plot lines are truly horrific. The only plot Sonic needs is 'There's Robotnik, go get him!'. Adventure 2 might as well of had Linkin Park on the soundtrack. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Devil May Cry games have laughably bad narratives. Silent Hill 2, while it actually has a really decent story, is let down because of terrible dialogue and shitty voice acting allowing for poor characterisation, which should really be one of the games strengths considering the narrative revolves around the crumbling mental state of the protagonist. Metroid Prime 3 had such a shitty story that I can't even remember it. All I can remember are it's pathetic attempts to produce cinematic cutscenes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Resident Evil is going on the list until someone tells me in a single, succinct sentence why on earth Wesker is quite so determined to become the worlds biggest bastard through the medium of zombie. And I still don't know who the fuck Krauser is. Also story lines for arcade beat-em-ups, a' la DoA, Tekken etc. Why even bother? They come in exactly two flavours: evil corporations and mystical artefacts, and typically a couple of the characters are affiliated with each. Why the evil and mysticism? Nobody knows, they just are. Also, MGS2. I mean MGS didn't really get away it to be honest, but Jesus H Christ. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 doa2 has by far my favourite: two people pre fight 'project epsilon? i thought that was a failure...' 'what do you know!?' FIGHT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Personally, I hate Gears of war the most. Do they ever explain why the planet they're on is so important? Wait a minute! This is your home planet? We're the evil, invading aliens? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 doa2 has by far my favourite: two people pre fight 'project epsilon? i thought that was a failure...' 'what do you know!?' FIGHT! LMFAO was gonna post something like this but I thought the sonic stuff was worse. But this has brought it all back. Also games like super puyo pop and doctor robotniks mean bean machine. The voice of the protaganist in puyo pop on the ps2 was so grating, it felt like someone was scratching their nails down a blackboard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 The end part of Fahrenheit. Seriously, what the hell!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 I can't stand five minutes of any GTA. San Andreas being particularly hang-yourself-inducingly bad. I don't think it's racist to say that I felt like Rockstar stole me from my own bed, gagged me, tied me up and dropped me with no parachute into the most cliched of ghettos with that one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 Gears of War springs to mind as mentioned. Also Puzzle Quest storyline was pretty dire, but tbh it was just a means to incorporating the whole levelling up and equipment part to a game of bejeweled I think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 I don't think it's racist to say... I didn't think it was racist either until you said that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2008 The end part of Fahrenheit. Seriously, what the hell!? This. Sword of Mana was confusing. Then again, I only played the male protagonist story. Final Fantasy Tactics Advance wasn't exactly bad, but it was depressing. "Hey, everyone is happy in this world, and depressed in the old world, including me. Let's just end this fantastic world, and go back to our crappy lives" Also, Halo (I've only played the first one), generic, confusing crap: "Quick, Aliens are attacking! Kill some stuff and blow some shit up! They're evil because we say so!" "Hey look, let's go to a fortress full of aliens and stuff. Don't ask me why, just go!" "Hi! Want to get rid of the parasites? Accompany me throught this tall tower. Don't ask how the parasites got here without entrances, just kill them and blow some shit up." "ZOMG! The Halo kills everything here, except the evil stuff! In order to save everyone, we must...blow up the friggin' Halo! Yeah, that will save everyone in here!" Baten Kaitos was generic (not quite to crap-level), but I sometimes hate a couple of stupid things: - "We must never let the emperor have this dangerous card!" So why don't you...I dunno...THROW IT INTO THE ABYSS?! And the stupidest segment ever: -"I suspect you're Evil!" "Yeah, I kinda am" "ZOMG! Let's fight you!" *traitor becomes stronger for the boss fight* After a while: "Yeah, you know what? I'm not evil, after all." "But you said-" "I was kidding" "Oh, sorry, my bad" *traitor rejoins party. Becomes weak again* And everything goes on as if nothing happened Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Blue Dragon hurts me. I see flashbacks in my nightmares. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 And the stupidest segment ever: -"I suspect you're Evil!" "Yeah, I kinda am" "ZOMG! Let's fight you!" *traitor becomes stronger for the boss fight* After a while: "Yeah, you know what? I'm not evil, after all." "But you said-" "I was kidding" "Oh, sorry, my bad" *traitor rejoins party. Becomes weak again* And everything goes on as if nothing happened Sounds like ToS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Peach gets kidnapped... Mario must rescue her... sigh Also I justr read what the new 50 cents game is about.. ha ha ha ha haa ha (i can hardly breathe) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Sounds like ToS. Yeah, except that segment actually happened like that, in a few minutes. Also, another stupid part of that segment: Kalas asks:"Shall we attack her, or let her explain everything?" We choose "Let her explain" Kalas: "Meh, I don't like that choice. Let's attack her instead!" He was as blunt as it sounds. Peach gets kidnapped... Mario must rescue her... sigh Also I justr read what the new 50 cents game is about.. ha ha ha ha haa ha (i can hardly breathe) Is that the plot of the guy doesn't pay 50 Cent for his performance, and says "I was gonna pay you an ancient diamond, but thieves stole it, so you must get it back from them"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Super Mario Sunshine! Great game, crap story!! The court scene in particular was pretty bad! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Every Tekken characters' backstory. Although they're kinda funnycrapawesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 The end part of Fahrenheit. Seriously, what the hell!? I got sick of it, it got stupidly difficult. I never completed it. Mind you, it was getting pretty stupid anyway. One of the plot twists in Deus Ex: Invisible War sucked: "We're fighting against this organisation, bla bla bla" "Whatever..." *Later* "Oh, wait... we've just found out that we're actually part of the organisation we've been fighting" "So the choices I've made have been pointless?" "... Pretty much." Mind you, the entire game sucked in comparison to the first one. I hated the endings too. Oh, and Shadow the Hedgehog's story sucked: Black Doom: "Shadow, I am your father." Shadow: "That's not true, that's not even possible! ... NoooooOoOOooOOOooooo!!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 29, 2008 Black Doom: "Shadow, I am your father." Shadow: "That's not true, that's not even possible! ... NoooooOoOOooOOOooooo!!!" OMG WTF PUT SPOILER TAGS UP YOU BLODDY IDIOT!11"!!!11!!!1!!!!oneone!!! I kid, i kid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
