Cheating - The Great N-E Debate

[BeerMonkey]

i could never cheat on a girlfriend

 

my last girlfriend asfter been going out for a short time took me to one side at a gig to admit to me that in her last few relationships she has cheated on her boyfriends she then went on to try and explain herself saying she couldnt help it and is no good at commitment. That was last night we went out together as i cant risk her cheating on me.

 

theres no excuse...gettin drunk is no excuse just plain wrong

[MoogleViper]

You're living in a fantasy world there.

If it was human nature to control yourself then we'd be living in a world without war and crime. It is human nature to be weak and give in to desires, peer pressure, temptation, provocation, anger, all sorts of emotions and outside influences. Maybe when you're older and have lived a little you'll see everything isn't as clean cut as you currently think.

 

I wouldn't comit any crimes that I thought was wrong, nor would I do anything else that I thought was wrong. I'm not saying that there aren't people who can't control themselves. But there are a lot that can. I for one can, and I would expect somebody that I was with to be able to. I wouldn't go out with somebody that couldn't control themselves from committing a crime, nor would I go out with somebody that couldn't control themselves against cheating.

[Rummy]

I dissapprove of it when you know it's wrong, and you KNOW someone's going to be very hurt when they find out, especially if it's happened to you already.

If you do it without realising(ie someone pretending they've available when they're not) then I don't hate you as much cos it wasn't your fault, doing it knowing that they aren't, then I hate you immensely, both of you.

Of course, it isn't so simple and straightforward, and things are perfect and this isn't a perfect world. I think in any situation with cheating, I think all rights and stuff lie with the cheated, and that the cheaters deserve no sympathy. This is my short little breakdown of my opinion, it should be longer but I'm trying not to get too hooked into the forums again.

[Sarka]

I wouldn't mind being cheated on. I think that cheating is fine - though you should tell your partner before you do it. Being with one person for so long without any other sexual companionship is very hard and probably makes peopel drift apart. Sleeping with others keeps things fresh imo.

[Eenuh]

I wouldn't mind being cheated on. I think that cheating is fine - though you should tell your partner before you do it. Being with one person for so long without any other sexual companionship is very hard and probably makes peopel drift apart. Sleeping with others keeps things fresh imo.

 

If you are gonna tell your partner first that you are going to sleep with someone else, and they approve, then it isn't cheating anymore.

 

And I'm not the one for sharing, so I don't think that would ever work for me.

[Sarka]

If you are gonna tell your partner first that you are going to sleep with someone else, and they approve, then it isn't cheating anymore.

 

And I'm not the one for sharing, so I don't think that would ever work for me.

 

I suppose... oh well. Then I disapprove of cheating, but approve of sleeping with people your not going out with.

[AshMat]

This is interesting.

 

I still don't see why you want that girl back, she cheated on you.

My girlfriend did that to me we'd be split up, and i would honestly never talk to her again. Like the girl that did cheat on me.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

i think the main question should be...

 

do u trust someone who cheated on you not to do it again?

[nekunando]

..if someone cheated on me I couldn't look at them again.. that would be it!

 

..but then I don't even like my girlfriend looking in the direction of another guy ..poor thing..

[Ashley]

i think the main question should be...

 

do u trust someone who cheated on you not to do it again?

 

As much as I trust anyone anyway, yes.

[Dan_Dare]

I was one half of a semi cheat once. In my defence, the relationship in question was on the rocks and open, but it was a horribly complicated situation non the less. I did end up with the girl, but only briefly. Wasn't smart

I wouldn't have done it if the situation had been different, and I don't approve if it...

[My Buttons are Magic!]

i have a hard time trusting people to begin with ( only really trust 3 poeple in my whole life)...im not really a trusting person ( is there a word for that?)

so if someone cheated on me the trust would be gone...

[Ashley]

( is there a word for that?)

 

mis·an·thrope [mis-uhn-throhp, miz-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

a hater of humankind

 

mis·an·thrope (mĭs'ən-thrōp', mĭz'-) Pronunciation Key

n. One who hates or mistrusts humankind.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

i dont hate all mankind....lol... just 90% of the people i meet in my daily life

 

i just dont trust many people...ahh well...

[Ashley]

Well then you're misanthropish or semi-misanthrope, take your pick. :p

[conzer16]

I think cheating is wrong.

 

Plain and simple. If you can't stay committed to one person then you shouldnt be lucky enough to have that person.

 

Stay loyal!

[My Buttons are Magic!]

Well then you're misanthropish or semi-misanthrope, take your pick. :p

 

lol...tongue-twister there... ill take the latter

 

anywoo.. back on the subject

 

I think cheating is wrong.

 

Plain and simple. If you can't stay committed to one person then you shouldnt be lucky enough to have that person.

Stay loyal!

 

youve hit the nail on the head (or whatever the phrase is)

[weeyellowbloke]

I've only just started to enter a relationship, we've been seeing each other regularly for about 2 weeks or so (well not at the moment as we're at other ends of the country over the easter holidays ). Anyway, I would never cheat on her as I'm quite happy with the way things are. However, there is only one girl who if she directly stated she would be interested in a relationship with me I may reconsider things, but if that did happen I would never cheat. Nope I would just have to have some talks with all involved and deal with the consequences. This situation will probably never come up though and it might just be because a) I am in the very early stages of this relationship and b) this other girl is kind of my childhood sweet heart. Anyway, if it were the other way around I was cheated on, I like to think I could deal with it. I would probably ask why it happened and if the relationship should carry on and I would be disappointed, but I would forgive. People make mistakes, that's life and I'm too laid back (read as lazy) to really get too pissed off about it. It's just sex.

 

2 cents added

[AshMat]

I think cheating is wrong.

 

Plain and simple. If you can't stay committed to one person then you shouldnt be lucky enough to have that person.

 

Stay loyal!

 

Very well said.

[Ashley]

I think cheating is wrong.

 

Plain and simple. If you can't stay committed to one person then you shouldnt be lucky enough to have that person.

 

Stay loyal!

 

Problem with that idea is that it presumes both people in the relationship are equal.

[Fierce_LiNk]

This is interesting.

 

I still don't see why you want that girl back, she cheated on you.

My girlfriend did that to me we'd be split up, and i would honestly never talk to her again. Like the girl that did cheat on me.

 

Just for the record, I'm not a believer of this "once a cheat, always a cheat" line. I do generally think that things can always be worked at, and there's almost always a reason why someone does do it. Somebody in this thread mentioned their own insecurities? (Apple Ndib, I think)

 

Again, it's whether you can deal with what's happened and move on from it. I have to admit, I've been finding that a bit hard, so maybe that's why I've now ended up in the position that I am in now. But, I'm willing to forgive, so that's the first step.

[MoogleViper]

Just for the record, I'm not a believer of this "once a cheat, always a cheat" line. I do generally think that things can always be worked at, and there's almost always a reason why someone does do it. Somebody in this thread mentioned their own insecurities? (Apple Ndib, I think).

 

But we all get tempted. And if somebody cheats on you then it means that they can't control themselves. So who's to say that they will be able to control themselves in the future?

[Fierce_LiNk]

But we all get tempted. And if somebody cheats on you then it means that they can't control themselves. So who's to say that they will be able to control themselves in the future?

 

That's the million dollar question.

 

Even if the person hasn't cheated on you before, how do you know they won't do it in the future? If they have done it before, how do you know that they'll stay faithful? Answer is, you don't. Nobody can predict the future, and if you say "oh, she'll probably do it again" doesn't mean she definitely will.

 

It's part of the risk, I think. But then, I think you should also look at not only what they did, but why they did it exactly. If it is because of insecurities, then it's a starting point, and you can maybe still work on that.

[MoogleViper]

That's the million dollar question.

 

Even if the person hasn't cheated on you before, how do you know they won't do it in the future? If they have done it before, how do you know that they'll stay faithful? Answer is, you don't. Nobody can predict the future, and if you say "oh, she'll probably do it again" doesn't mean she definitely will.

 

It's part of the risk, I think. But then, I think you should also look at not only what they did, but why they did it exactly. If it is because of insecurities, then it's a starting point, and you can maybe still work on that.

 

For me though I wouldn't finish with them just because I couldn't trust them again, but rather that they had wronged me too much. If I attacked my girlfriend then I'm sure that she would finish me.

[Ashley]

But we all get tempted. And if somebody cheats on you then it means that they can't control themselves. So who's to say that they will be able to control themselves in the future?

 

You shouldn't write someone off for giving into temptation. Gambling, smoking, drinking, swearing, snacking and even lounging about could all be said to be examples of giving in to temptations others could deem wrong.