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Maple I'm abusing my position as an alder statesmen on N-Europe, but I'm not sure how much room for growth this thread has without branching out. I mean, we have a lot of budding comedians here, but it seems most of us are rowan along without a paddle.

Are you taking the pith? Think I'm some kind of sap?

Danny wins the thread, however the Internet belongs to me.

Don' take the bait Sam, no need to be so koi. We all carp on about ReZ not having a sense of humour, but at least he's angling for a few laughs.

It's just fishing for being put in Davy Jones' Locker. I have to go, I can't kelp with it any more. Besides, I dont want to make anemone of the mods.

Oy, I had a crustacean friend of mine go to prison, ten years he was there. When he finally got out, he was just an empty shell. I swear the charges were trumped up though, always smelled fishy to me.

What is it like to be you? The world must be a terrifying and confusing place at times.

You sir, are clearly worrying aout nothing. Penis beats tooth. /gameoverpeniswins

You still have your penis though, right?

Now make a model of Ashley in his assless leather chaps!

Happy birthday chaps!

Uh-oh. Kaixin, your favourite video game please?

Can I make a point here: I've been playing video games for 23 years now, and I've never actually read Gamasutra.

Someone pass Fresh the Kleenex....ew. Anyway, hear that the naming rights to St James' Park re up for grabs. It's a terrible shame that it has gone so far that we need to seek financial stability through renaming the oldest stadium in the north. But, such is the nature of the times.

And not a single fuck was given that day.

You think these people will go on forever, but thensuddenly this. Ask yourselves a question - and this is a tough one: go out quickly or suffer for years like Ali?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-15632665 Just such a surprise, he only announced the other day he was battling cancer. There really are no true boxing greats any more, nobody to really draw a crowd, that kind of personality, those rivalries... They just don't exist any more. Frazier-Ali, Tyson-Holyfield, name two electrifying HW fighters...anyone? It's a terrible loss for the sport and his family.

She was, now she's a bit frumpy.

Well, if YOU weren't so girthalicious and manly...

Ouch. I tore an anus muscle from laughing at that red band trailer.

You think you got it bad,I'm in charge of my own department and I have staff members forced on me by the Board that failed the Arse/Elbow Differentiation (Beginner) Course. And now I have to clean up their mess.

Rubbish car parkers, eh? Totally get what they deserve.

Well, my work here is done... *shimmer* *dematerialise*

Today it's a misspelling of definitely, tomorrow noboday cars abowt anyhing ennymore.

It's clearly a capital "N" and a capital "E" that make NE.