The Bard

Also, where the fuck did these go?

I've been here like 7 years and you still can't tell I'm joking? Cmaaaan fella =).

Can I be Aladdin? I am, after all, brown and devilishly handsome not to mention unwashed, and cleptomanic...

The last point of your argument seems to be, somewhat ridiculously, positioned as a positive factor. How did you sustain such extensive brain damage?

Nobody finds him funny. Other than in that "ooh, that's a bit funny isn't it?" kind of sense. As someone whose capacity for hate dwarfs most anyone else's, I corroborate your evaluation of this most heinous of... I can't even think of a pronoun that would not be besmirched by his grammatical association with it.

Yeah, I don't know that dude too well, but he's is beshitted in my eyes by way of association with James "Anthropomorphic turd" Corden.

He was also in that Lesbian Vampire Killers shite wasn't he? What's with that name eh? Isn't that a dangling modifier? How did a film title like that get past editing huh? I'll tell you; everyone involved was a bumbling fucknut.

Doesn't it have that insufferable cunt from Gavin & Stacey in it?

Nah, I think I'll do that tomorrow just to figure out if I have any avenues to further bone my Landlord. Kinda knew that taking that property was a huge mistake, but the state of cheap accomodation in London being what it is, that was pretty much the only option left to us. Did you manage to find a place in the end Ash?

I filed this enormous, scathing letter of complaint against my landlord. I feel like a King. A King that's about to have his ass dumped on the streets but a King nonetheless.

I love Winnie The Pooh. Can't wait for this.

Oh please be Natalie Portman.

Social normativity is so inscribed into us that, yeah, we can be "different," but never different enough to make a difference. Any divergence we can concieve is dictated by the foundation stone of the status quo. We are a well oiled unit, we are not the agents of our own soul, we are the objects of an alien discourse. We, dude, are robots somehow invested with the fallacious idea of agency. So lets not think about it. Let's just pretend we have control, because that's the best we can do.

What does this involve? I mean, how does one play? Either way, I'm in.

Oh shit, look what I found: =p

Man, I'm really hoping this is good, since the music is obviously going to be spectacular in surround, but some of the trailers look Scott Pilgrim levels of campy. Well...not quite that bad, but it was just a bit jarring to see some tart swinging a baton in her high heels, in a film thats ostensibly supposed to be stylised in a way that evokes Kraftwerk... not strutting chic.

I'm not going to use this space to expound on the virtues of listening to Joanna Newsom, firstly because I have not the words to do so, and secondly because it would be a gargantuan task to detail a musician that appropriates so many styles and themes that I've heard before and makes them her own. Listening to some of her songs is like being taken through the most picturesque memory you can conjure but sweeter than nostalgia. I sound like such a fag, but I do really love that shit. One a scale of one to awesome, its gorgeous. Now to earn back some man creds:

Its cool. Cultural effluence needs its connoisseurs too... The nineties were like the last breath of a society that consited of ten year pop culture shifts, or at least thats what the narrative looks like in retrospect, before the internet bubble exploded and the world at large became a homogenous melting pot of mediocrity. In some ways, I think the unpredictability of cultural precedents in the present could be to blame for our economic state, since economics is largely predicated on being able to predict the returns on investment. In the last ten years we've had so many financial bubbles, like the dot com bubble which imploded upon itself when people realised that they'd invested in shares that had absolutely no liquidity whatsoever, to Las Vegas property shares which whiffed before the properties had even been completed. Everything is so unbelievable anomalous; I mean look at last years Christmas No.1; Rage Against The Machine, a subversion that would have been impossible without the coordination of a fairly substantial group of people; a coordination that must be disturbing to the bourgeoisie (lol) since the world market is so dependant on directorial control.

I'm fairly sure that I heard somewhere about what are unanimously known as the "filler" episodes of Dragonball Z being a result of nothing so much as Akira Toriyamas notorious lazyness. The fucker didn't get the scripts and narrative progressions sorted out in time, so the rest of the studio had to pick up the slack and give us full hours of constipated KI concentration and annoying camera pans of dull scenescapes to kill the alotted twenty two minute slot. That said, I loved that shit when I was a kid, used to come home from school everyday and watch it while eating the skin off my chicken dippers, like a complete freak. Then I used to go outside and try to beat the shit out of the tree in our back yard. May watch this, even though I recently bought the entire series on DVD.

I know no old people, outside my grandparents and my Architexts lecturer from last year. I quite like talking to my grandpa even though he's a fairly needy dude who likes to do butt all other than play golf. I love the guy though, its really weird how sometimes male children tend to have an estranged relationship with their dad (such as I did throughout my teen years) probably because of some sort of fear of appearing un-masculine, but its sort of different with your grandpa. I guess paternal affection skips a generation. As for my lecturer, everything he said used to have a perversely Freudian tinge to it, which was intriguing I guess, except every other response he gave was some sort of cryptic sexual reference. I guess old people just feel really disenfranchised and alienated in the modern world. Fuck, even I feel old and unable to keep up. Actually, last time I was in Pakistan I talked to my grandpa at length about how the whole country had gone to hell in a handbasket. Not sure whether I was just humouring him. Ramble ramble.

You need to live in Berkeley. The scene over there has the same cavalier attitude towards recreational protesting =p. I was gonna go, but I had essays to do.

I've got one of the old models, the Toneport UX1. Gearbox has some cool modelling software, a lot of shit you can do to mess around with the sound, but doesn't ever sound quite as good as playing through an actual amp.

Lol, can't believe the boys in Behemoth are still doing that facepaint malarkey. And that's not one of their better songs to be honest.

I don't think having penis trees and borderline racist implications qualifies as "controversial," just retarded. And it's not even good retarded, like Tim and Eric's video for Major Lazer's "Pon de Floor." Or maybe I don't get it. I kinda like it though, in a weird way it makes me really uncomfortable, but since my point of reference for the same kinda shit is Tim and Eric, its more sinister. Now, a classic;

True, but that's because overseas its a relatively small, specialist chain compared to Primark, so they're not gonna stock all the budget goods. Unfortunately most of the stuff there is also designed for a Japanese frame. None of the Jeans fit me, mostly because my body shape doesn't resemble a pitch fork.