Paj!
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Really long post that I deleted in the end. Thanks for the input Jay/Grunch/People. Lots of correct points and ways of looking at things. More to it that what I posted (by a large amount), it's not just "angst", but..yeah. Doesn't really matter if you believe that, or, in 5 years myself looking back does or not. But yeah, several points raised that I agree with. RE: the thing about art. I know what you're saying. I've had this as my mantra for a good while; -
His girlfriend is great. What we all want in a frequent acquaintance. Fun-loving and of mild good taste. He does not suffice. I've not heard him say anything with any emotion behind it in 5 years. ALSO: Paddy is alive, The Lovely Bones went on too long or something.
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Yes. All those photos blow me. *lies down*
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I liked them! I never knew she did them, but I guess it makes sense with the...noises she makes.
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It's Brodie. Who I have no opinion on/for/with/at. But I'm more taking part for Mavor, and to learn his tricks. Mavor made the intro, and it's soft as chalk.
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Most pointless waste of my time ever...friend who's down this weekend texted to say he was at the cinema till 10 30 but that he'd meet me then. He never responded to my texts asking where he'd be, but I assumed one of the ones in town. So got bus at 10, got into town by 10.15, buffed around for a bit by myself, seeing if anyone else was in town. Friend never responded to any texts I sent him or any fo the phone calls I made after 10.30...so at 11 I just headed home. A good 40 min walk and no text or phone message, so I just wander where he is/if he's ok. *shrugs* ALSO I think I have sensitive eyes...whenever it's even mildly windy (as, not at all, but you can kinda tell which direction the wind is going) outside and I'm walking in the face of it, my eyes seriously well up. It's really annoying because I have to kinda balance how I use my eyes so I don't just start streaming what-looks-like-tears, but then my eyes go all blurry from the wetness. And sometimes a tear just randomly rolls down, like today. And it's really weird if I just start wiping away tears walking through town. Does anyone else get this...? It's not exactly something I want to have.
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Oh yeah! I love that episode. The best Maeby "Marry Me" bit ever, in the Bluth offices with Michael.
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It stuns so much! Just how the humour isn't even aimed at children. And there's "swearing".
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I don't feel like a person. I feel like a big ambiguous thing that is incapable of integrating into how humans behave and act in modern society. I feel like I'm faking it. I have lots of good friends, but around most I have a guard up. Although the guard is more like this big wall that portects whatever is inside but also just tells everyone else that there's "nothing to see here". I feel like a big vessel with a brain and intelligence within it somewhere, rather than a brain/intelligence controlling a body. I think/am convinced I'm dying/falling apart or something, and I'm so scared of death. But I don't bother to actually inquire as to whether I am ill or whatever. When I heard the song "Good That Won't Come Out" by Rilo Kiley, I'd never heard a song that actually described so acturately how feel, including this element. As a being, I put things off/procrastinate for no reason other than for the sake of ease. In work and stuff I rarely do it ahead of time unless I really enjoy it, as a minor (universal really) example (we all do to some extent), but then I also think that if things aren't said or looked into it means they won't quite be real. I have more on my mind than anyone knows, and while the real urge and need to make a change is growing within me, at the same time I feel like I'm just turning more and more into this mass of disintegrating, impartial flesh who is neither here nor there. Everytime I leave my house, the action of doing so is like...bathed in criticism and thinking about what other people on the street would think of me and how I appear (or at least more so than I may appear, I don't bother with appearance really, fashion wise or anything. Though I've decided this is because I feel defeated by my own feelings of inadequecy/formless face and body and so I don't bother). The way other people just.."are", I don't feel that way. I just don't feel like a tangible being, I feel amorphous, and so in everything I do, I have thoughts firing around the back of my head throughout. I know I've mentioned on here before that while art is what I want to do and I'm so inspired by art, music and literatrue, I never felt I could express myself through it properly. With my new love of film, this feeling is subsiding slightly. But then I think that feeling was attached to everything that's going on in my head that no one can see but I wanted to somehow get across , but then was sabotaged by own fears of inadequacy or what the result is "not being right". I'm scared I'll die and have done nothing (I know, everyone is...). I still can't face the concept of my own lack of existence. But that's not what's pressing on my mind as much at the moment (for once!). I just feel I'm at a crux in something...I know various things I could do at this point, the act of doing them would make me more happy, but then I'm unsure of what happens after that as my head wil still be here. (e.g the example I gave of me feeling like I'm dying/am ill but not wanting to investigate so it doesn't seem real) -- That was unplanned.
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I meant Ashley's post, unless you knew that and you were tring to make a joke...?
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When's that from ^ ? I don't remember it...
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^ Not a fan. --- Fleet Foxes singer covers On A Good Day by Joanna Newsom. This one of my favourite moments on her new album, so simple but the melody is gut-wrenching, for some reason. His version is a lovely tribute. Also; A rare TV appearance for JoJo.
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Went to friends hand to give him footage I took of a party we were at, and to draw up a plan of action for the film we're making about a friend/ I have no connection with him anymore, but he exists and I'm aware of him. Then came home and just relaxed watching Buffy. Am gonna meet a friend in town tonight after he's done at the cinemateque.
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She's terrified, but she's not leaving. She knows that she must pass this test.
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Had driving lesson. Was really good at said driving, I'm not even going to lie. Went to cinema out of my way, yet the only one my friends seem to want to go to as the meeting place of choice. Took 2 buses, though I worked out it's really just a single bus ride and a 10 minute walk away, I just never knew. Saw Alice In Wonderland 3-D. Unimpressed. Went for a pizza-based dinner at MAMA'S in Grassmarket. Left prematurely (we'd finished eating though) to meet friend who's down for the weekend. Played Marvel Nemesis and watched Battlestar Galactica (he's a convert), adding our own commentary at certain points. Possibly the best way to have me in hysterics. Like when we saw the last Indiana Jones, we were lolling at our own version of the script. He gave me Buffy Season 4, I gave him BSG Season 2. Now the sky is like a bread roll, soaking in a milk bowl. The bread broke, fell in bricks of wet smoke.
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I've never been a big fan of stand-up. Dunno why, it's just never REALLY appealed to me. I like Dylan Moran from what I've seen, and Rob Brydon is funny (my mum has a live CD of his in the car). I also watched a bit of Wanda Sykes which I enjoyed too. I'll go through some of these vids, I never take the time to listen to popular comedians really, unless I encounter them on TV. Didn't like Lee Evans. (from that vid)
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Stunning. What's going on with the FF atm then? Is Thing not a member anymore?
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Letty, a friend of mine saw you in a cafe in Aberdeen. He's studying there and he knows I'm applying for RGU, and that I heard from you it was good, and then showed him you on Facebook and he'd seen you.
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Overall very meh. Verging on quite disappointed.
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Exactly what I thought, but didn't quite know how to make that some sort of joke at ReZ's expense.
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I've heard it's quite good. But then I've been known to fall for the lies of tricking monkeys in hunting coats.
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I'm seeing Alice this afternoon with a group of friends...if no one arranged to go I wouldn't have bothered, though I like the property. I'm just bored of how grey and semi-cgi murky his recent Johnny Depp vehicles (sorry, films) are. Both Sweeny Todd and Charlie... were like "...". Instantly put them back on the metaphorical shelf. Batman Returns is my fave Burton live action film, I really like Edward Scissorhands too. I heard Ed Wood is good but haven't seen it.
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Erasure are a band, and were always legendary! *bows*