Posted June 16, 2011 God's Honest Truth, I've never played a Sims game before, lmao. Why, is there some kind of reference or something? In The Sims, they get confidence by talking to themselves in a mirror Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 In The Sims, they get confidence by talking to themselves in a mirror charisma!! I would really love to post in this thread but i dunno if its a really good idea and i keep changing my mind on what id want to say! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 I'm a fan of the whole "love yourself before you love others" thing. Not just because you'll be honestly yourself but also because if you don't trust or know yourself then you'll be incapable of trusting or knowing another individual, let alone someone you want to actually spend time with. I don't "love myself", but I know myself fine; that's part of the problem, it's difficult to lie or trick myself into something... if that makes sence Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 I don't "love myself", but I know myself fine; that's part of the problem, it's difficult to lie or trick myself into something... if that makes sence So you think you have little to give? I think you simply think too highly of other people, which in turn makes you feel inferior... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 I don't "love myself", but I know myself fine; that's part of the problem, it's difficult to lie or trick myself into something... if that makes sence But surely you must also know your good sides, then. And don't say "I have no good sides," because everyone has good sides. But if you have low self-esteem, you're just not able to see them because the downwards spiral makes you focus solely on the negative. Accentuate the positive! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 The chemistry if important, of course, but looking "attractive"? I don't think so. I find it a weird thing, "attractiveness", because it's all in our minds. Things and people aren't beautiful by nature; "beauty" is a concept that exists solely in the mind, and although there are general ideals (which are entirely dependent on culture, by the way), what each individual human brain sees as beautiful varies a lot. Besides, when people fall in love, the person they love will seem beautiful to them even if he or she doesn't fit the "established" ideals of beauty. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." NAIVE. By way of argument, everything is in the eye of the beholder, since everything we know is perceptual. Fortunately for us, as humans, we have this ability to subvert pure subjectivity by the fact that our mental constructs are in huge part collaborative. The more of a social being you are, the more you are aware of these existing rubricks of taste or beauty or any other aspect of subjective perception, and perhaps, the more you are tempted to adhere to them. While the minute differentiations in taste might make everyones idea of attractiveness idiosyncratic to a degree, its the overlaps that make us able to relate. Its the overlaps that we call "culture" and ordain such a high place in society, because its the very thing society is based on. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is such a thinly stretched figure of speech/ proverb/ whatthefuckeveritis that really doesn't mean much on its own, but unfortunately, people take it as some profound thing and make baldly false assertions based on it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 NAIVE. By way of argument, everything is in the eye of the beholder, since everything we know is perceptual. Fortunately for us, as humans, we have this ability to subvert pure subjectivity by the fact that our mental constructs are in huge part collaborative. The more of a social being you are, the more you are aware of these existing rubricks of taste or beauty or any other aspect of subjective perception, and perhaps, the more you are tempted to adhere to them. While the minute differentiations in taste might make everyones idea of attractiveness idiosyncratic to a degree, its the overlaps that make us able to relate. Its the overlaps that we call "culture" and ordain such a high place in society, because its the very thing society is based on. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is such a thinly stretched figure of speech/ proverb/ whatthefuckeveritis that really doesn't mean much on its own, but unfortunately, people take it as some profound thing and make baldly false assertions based on it. Um ... so ... what are you trying to say, exactly? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 Um ... so ... what are you trying to say, exactly? He thinks the Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder phrase is boolsheet, Dawg. All of eet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 Um ... so ... what are you trying to say, exactly? I'm saying that the "conventional" idea of what constitutes attractive has a great deal more influence than some people realise/ let on. Also: That was a perfectly serviceable paragraph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 NAIVE. By way of argument, everything is in the eye of the beholder, since everything we know is perceptual. Fortunately for us, as humans, we have this ability to subvert pure subjectivity by the fact that our mental constructs are in huge part collaborative. The more of a social being you are, the more you are aware of these existing rubricks of taste or beauty or any other aspect of subjective perception, and perhaps, the more you are tempted to adhere to them. While the minute differentiations in taste might make everyones idea of attractiveness idiosyncratic to a degree, its the overlaps that make us able to relate. Its the overlaps that we call "culture" and ordain such a high place in society, because its the very thing society is based on. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is such a thinly stretched figure of speech/ proverb/ whatthefuckeveritis that really doesn't mean much on its own, but unfortunately, people take it as some profound thing and make baldly false assertions based on it. Can I have your babies? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 He thinks the Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder phrase is boolsheet, Dawg. All of eet. Heh, obviously. But if I understood him correctly, he actually seemed to strengthen my point, so I'm wondering if he was trying to argue against it. I'm saying that the "conventional" idea of what constitutes attractive has a great deal more influence than some people realise/ let on. Also: That was a perfectly serviceable paragraph I never said it didn't, I just argued why it shouldn't discourage people if they don't fit the conventional idea of beauty. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 I never said it didn't, I just argued why it shouldn't discourage people if they don't fit the conventional idea of beauty. That's fair m'dear. Can I have your babies? Sure, but don't tell Dyson Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 16, 2011 So you think you have little to give? I think you simply think too highly of other people, which in turn makes you feel inferior... But surely you must also know your good sides, then. And don't say "I have no good sides," because everyone has good sides. But if you have low self-esteem, you're just not able to see them because the downwards spiral makes you focus solely on the negative. Accentuate the positive! I'm afraid the Saiyan Jedi beats the Danish Defence Lawyer in this round of psychology! I don't feel I've much to give; I'd say I have good sides: I'm a nice person, can listen and give people chances, I work to the best of my ability (though I love breaks a bit too much too) I'm pretty logical minded. None of that amounts to anything though; nothing anyone else would ever realise, or which would help achieve anything substantial. If I were a nasty person I'd probably be able to get a few kicks*, and if I were ignorant I just wouldn't give a toss about anythint anyway. So maybe my bad side is that I'm not an utter c**t; at least not yet *Modern terrorists are absolute rubbish. I'm sure it can't be that hard to **** ** ***** ** ******* or **** ** * **** ****** ******** or **** *** ***** or some shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 I'm afraid the Saiyan Jedi beats the Danish Defence Lawyer in this round of psychology! I don't feel I've much to give; I'd say I have good sides: I'm a nice person, can listen and give people chances, I work to the best of my ability (though I love breaks a bit too much too) I'm pretty logical minded. None of that amounts to anything though; nothing anyone else would ever realise, or which would help achieve anything substantial. If I were a nasty person I'd probably be able to get a few kicks*, and if I were ignorant I just wouldn't give a toss about anythint anyway. So maybe my bad side is that I'm not an utter c**t; at least not yet *Modern terrorists are absolute rubbish. I'm sure it can't be that hard to **** ** ***** ** ******* or **** ** * **** ****** ******** or **** *** ***** or some shit. I don't see how our views exclude each other. It all boils down to focus. Thinking too highly of others means you're focusing too much on their success, and belittling yourself means you're focusing too little on your own strengths. Your focus determines how you view the world. If you keep focusing on the success of others, inevitably you will come to view yourself as unsuccessful. What you need to do is change your focus. You need to convince yourself that you can do this. You need to change the idea in your mind that you'll be unsuccessful to the idea that you will be successful. I'm not saying it's an easy task, but once you've taken the first steps on the way, the rest will come. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 Kurtle, I'm saddened but also happy by your self view. I'm happy because once you find someone who really likes you, you're realize it (hopefully) was because of YOU. Your personality. Your traits. Your quirks... Etc. You need to realize, as corny as it seems, you are unique in that there is no one on Earth exactly like you. I know how you feel. I got into a relationship a few years back when I was: seemingly failing uni, had little money from working part time, and not medalling at all in my fighting career... I felt like shit. And it didn't help that my ex was highly materialistic, impatient and had partners who were older and much more stable. One thing lead to another and we brought the relationship to an end. I guess she wanted a settled dude to live with etc etc. So I felt she would be happy... But ever since (three years) she's been messaging me on FB reminiscing and speaking of how she has yet to meet a guy as loving etc etc as me. As unhappy as she seemed regarding my circumstances, according to her friends and family she hasn't fully recovered. (she cheated on me mind lol). *man, I'm at that point where you've lost track of the convo* Basically, never underestimate what YOU can offer or mean to someone. Fuck all these achievements and possessions. The worse type of relationship you could be in is a demanding one. "No divas, no gold-diggers... No dogs". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) ^Don't worry. A needy woman is a massive turn off for me; plus I've no gold . Part of the problem is that I did have someone who liked me for me... but then I ended up not being good enough. If someone did "fall" for me again I'd believe it was because they didn't know me well enough, or they were just deluded. Both those seem more likely to me than it being for a substantial/proper reason. Edited June 17, 2011 by Kurtle Squad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 Try becoming the best you can be. If you don't like yourself it's harder for others to like you. I don't mean you should change who you are, just become the best you possible. It does take work, and it does take time, but it's truly a game changer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 ^Don't worry. A needy woman is a massive turn off for me; plus I've no gold . Part of the problem is that I did have someone who liked me for me... but then I ended up not being good enough. If someone did "fall" for me again I'd believe it was because they didn't know me well enough, or they were just deluded. Both those seem more likely to me than it being for a substantial/proper reason. You shouldn't say things like the last sentence of your post, I truly do believe there's someone out there for everyone. Someone will love you for you just like someone will love me for me but you have to start loving yourself first. Like King_V said, someone will love your personality, your traits, the way you do things, your likes and dislikes, etc. Your friends and your family love you, you get along well with these guys here so why do you think it's impossible that a girl would love you for you? I think someone will come along when you least expect it and she'll get to know you and love you if you let her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 I think someone will come along when you least expect it and she'll get to know you and love you if you let her. This i agree with!!! It usually happens when you least expect it!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 Since I've never had a relationship. I shall put this into nerdy terms. I'd been going out with my Nintendo DS for 7 years and as soon as something better came along I just dumped it straight off. The 3DS is my new lover. Does this make me a slut? :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 Since I've never had a relationship. I shall put this into nerdy terms. I'd been going out with my Nintendo DS for 7 years and as soon as something better came along I just dumped it straight off. The 3DS is my new lover. Does this make me a slut? :p 7 Year Itch? :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 Haha! Although before that I traded my original DS in for a Lite. so HUGE whore. I'd just like to say my DS upgrading habits are not how I'd view a relationship. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 You shouldn't say things like the last sentence of your post, I truly do believe there's someone out there for everyone. Someone will love you for you just like someone will love me for me but you have to start loving yourself first. Like King_V said, someone will love your personality, your traits, the way you do things, your likes and dislikes, etc. Your friends and your family love you, you get along well with these guys here so why do you think it's impossible that a girl would love you for you? I don't feel I've much to give; I'd say I have good sides: I'm a nice person, can listen and give people chances, I work to the best of my ability (though I love breaks a bit too much too) I'm pretty logical minded. I don't "love myself", but I know myself fine; that's part of the problem, it's difficult to lie or trick myself into something... if that makes sence That's over the line of faith, soul-mates and destiny: It doesn't compute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 17, 2011 That's over the line of faith, soul-mates and destiny: It doesn't compute. It's still perfectly logical to believe that there are a number of people who would be "perfect" for (practically) every person, and you've got to try and find one of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
