Questioning sense of humour

[Goafer]

I fucking hate fat, black women.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously though, I have a dark sense of humour. Very dark at times. But I know that I need to be responsible with it. I know that there are people that will be offended by my jokes and it's down to me to decide whether or not to tell the dark jokes. Just because you don't mean something, doesn't mean that it loses it offensiveness.

 

If you have a dark sense of humour and aren't careful about where and who you tell sick jokes to, quite frankly, you're a dick.

 

My colleague at work is a perfect example of a dick. He makes stupid, unfunny jokes about really dark things at the most inappropriate times and to people who just won't get it, then just says "I'm only joking" after it as if it makes it ok. The other day we were talking seriously about a friend of a friend who woke up in a field after being raped. We had been talking about if she was ok and how she coped. He made some joke about how she probably made the whole thing up (or something, I can't remember. It wasn't funny). I said what a delightful thing to say about a rape victim and he just said that he was only joking.

 

As far I'm concerned, it's solely down to the person telling the joke to decide when and where is appropriate. People are well within their rights to be offended by something, regardless of intention.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

to that, Goaf.

[Grazza]

OK, I'm going to go against the grain here. I think there are some subjects we shouldn't laugh at. There is a massive difference between good-natured political incorrectness like Come Fly With Me and sneering, hateful "humour".

 

There is nothing funny about ill children, for example. It doesn't matter how good the joke, it's just too unpleasant to laugh at. Most comedians who joke about such subjects are unfunny scumbags, but what happens when you get a talented comedian who jokes about very dark subject matters? Step forwards Ricky Gervais. I loved The Office and he still makes me laugh - the man has talent - but his stand-up is so unpleasant a part of me never liked him as much since I saw it.

 

Now some of you were saying you laugh at rape, even though you know it's wrong in real life. I don't doubt that, but can you honestly say you still have total sympathy? Can you honestly say you are not more callous, slightly corrupt even for laughing at it?

 

Not that I'm accusing you of being evil, or that you'd commit crimes or unpleasant acts in real life. It's not even your fault that you have become callous. Call me old-fashioned, but I am a great believer that the films and television that permeate western society have totally corrupted us to a certain level. It's like Bart says to Lisa in The Simpsons when they're watching a McBain film "If you don't watch, how will you become desensitised to onscreen violence?" So sad how accurate that is.

 

What is wrong with us? You get stuff in things like Doctor Who, Harry Potter etc that could give kids nightmares, but then if a woman bares her boobs they have to be censored. We can't appreciate the female form without thinking of it as something rude or associating it with something ugly.

 

We're animals, with instincts for sex and violence (to an extent), but the media bombards us with such a barrage of perversion and unpleasantness, we can't help but become desensitised.

 

So, say what you like and laugh at what you like, but can you honestly say your soul has not been blackened and that you are really as nice as you could be?

 

I know I'm old-fashioned, but that's what I believe.

[Goafer]

I wouldn't agree with being desensitised to it all. We become desensitised to on screen violence, but it doesn't desensitise us to the real thing.

 

For example, I've seen pretty much every horror movie going. I've seen enough gore that it doesn't really bother me any more. But about a year ago I saw a woman who had been run down by a motorbike. Her leg was just a mess of flesh. I only caught a glimpse for a split second, but it turned my stomach. In terms of what I'd seen in movies, it was pretty tame, but because it was real it was just horrible.

 

I don't think simulated gore and violence on screen can desensitise you to the real thing. They're completely different and something in us can tell. At least that's how it works for normal people IMO.

 

There probably are certain people who can't tell the difference between what they see on screen and what's real. But they have issues, which need to be addressed and probably aren't just limited to this sort of thing.

[Diageo]

There's very little that offends me and there's very little I won't laugh at. I like it that way. Jokes make people laugh, and people who are laughing are happy. If you take a horrible situation and make it funny, all the more to you.

 

Like I've said before. Making something positive out of something negative. How can that be a bad thing?

 

I love dark humour.

[Beast]

I agree with Goafer. I mean, I've seen really gory, violent horror movies but I can't watch real-life operations or hospital shows, they just make me feel uneasy. I know why it is too; in movies like Saw, I know it's all fake and Hollywood but I know that those shows are real and I just can't watch it with out my stomach turning.

[chairdriver]

It's not whether or not it's offensive, it's whether or not you're a whack person I don't want to look at / talk to.

[Ville]

OK, I'm going to go against the grain here. I think there are some subjects we shouldn't laugh at. There is a massive difference between good-natured political incorrectness like Come Fly With Me and sneering, hateful "humour".

 

There is nothing funny about ill children, for example. It doesn't matter how good the joke, it's just too unpleasant to laugh at. Most comedians who joke about such subjects are unfunny scumbags, but what happens when you get a talented comedian who jokes about very dark subject matters? Step forwards Ricky Gervais. I loved The Office and he still makes me laugh - the man has talent - but his stand-up is so unpleasant a part of me never liked him as much since I saw it.

 

Now some of you were saying you laugh at rape, even though you know it's wrong in real life. I don't doubt that, but can you honestly say you still have total sympathy? Can you honestly say you are not more callous, slightly corrupt even for laughing at it?

 

Not that I'm accusing you of being evil, or that you'd commit crimes or unpleasant acts in real life. It's not even your fault that you have become callous. Call me old-fashioned, but I am a great believer that the films and television that permeate western society have totally corrupted us to a certain level. It's like Bart says to Lisa in The Simpsons when they're watching a McBain film "If you don't watch, how will you become desensitised to onscreen violence?" So sad how accurate that is.

 

What is wrong with us? You get stuff in things like Doctor Who, Harry Potter etc that could give kids nightmares, but then if a woman bares her boobs they have to be censored. We can't appreciate the female form without thinking of it as something rude or associating it with something ugly.

 

Indeed...

 

We're animals, with instincts for sex and violence (to an extent), but the media bombards us with such a barrage of perversion and unpleasantness, we can't help but become desensitised.

 

So, say what you like and laugh at what you like, but can you honestly say your soul has not been blackened and that you are really as nice as you could be?

 

I know I'm old-fashioned, but that's what I believe.

 

Yep, rape and child abuse are just not funny to me, too real and horrible...

 

Also a good point about media. It's no wonder people are all cynical and pessimistic nowadays, because the so-called "entertainment" is full of awful negative stuff! I.e. lying, stealing, murdering, torturing, raping etc etc. What kind of image does this portray of us and the world? A very twisted one. Thus consumed non-stop this kind of stuff really will corrupt you, bring your energy down to that level of negativity...So instead, I rather focus on the stuff that I want from life, i.e. honesty, joy, happiness. That's what my humour focuses on as well...because it keeps me where I want to be, on a positive level! Watching very dark stuff or joking about it seems just disgusting and pointless...I'd rather focus on something I actually want in my life!

 

I mean it's a good thing to have an open mind, but that doesn't mean that you have to make fun of everything. It's basically a choice between positive and negative, what kind of world you want to help build, what kind of energy you want to cultivate and grow...because what you focus on, increases.

Edited June 1, 2011 by Ville

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Yep, rape and child abuse are just not funny to me, too real and horrible...

 

Also a good point about media. It's no wonder people are all cynical and pessimistic nowadays, because the so-called "entertainment" is full of awful negative stuff! I.e. lying, stealing, murdering, torturing, raping etc etc. What kind of image does this portray of us and the world? A very twisted one. Thus consumed non-stop this kind of stuff really will corrupt you, bring your energy down to that level of negativity...So instead, I rather focus on the stuff that I want from life, i.e. honesty, joy, happiness. That's what my humour focuses on as well...because it keeps me where I want to be, on a positive level! Watching very dark stuff or joking about it seems just disgusting and pointless...I'd rather focus on something I actually want in my life!

 

I mean it's a good thing to have an open mind, but that doesn't mean that you have to make fun of everything. It's basically a choice between positive and negative, what kind of world you want to help build, what kind of energy you want to cultivate and grow...because what you focus on, increases.

 

The thing is, I'm still a hundred times more affected by these bad things happening in real life than I ever am when they feature in fictional media. I get depressed when I read about the unfairness of the capitalist economy of America. My blood boils when I hear about injustice in the world. I am horrified by violence in real life. And I'm an autist, for crying out loud! I'm not even supposed to feel empathy.

 

On the contrary, when I see or read horrible stuff in fiction, it's a relief to know it isn't real.

 

I can agree with you a good deal of the way, that the world needs more positivity. But I don't believe fiction is responsible for the lack hereof; I believe the real world is.

[Daft]

Also a good point about media. It's no wonder people are all cynical and pessimistic nowadays, because the so-called "entertainment" is full of awful negative stuff! I.e. lying, stealing, murdering, torturing, raping etc etc. What kind of image does this portray of us and the world? A very twisted one.

 

Mmm, yes. Because these are all inventions of modernity.

[Hamishmash]

One of my favourite Stephen Fry quotes.

 

It’s now very common to hear people saying ‘I’m rather offended by that’ as if that gives them certain rights – it’s simply a whine, it’s no more than a whine. ‘I find that offensive’. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that’ – well so fucking what?

[Ville]

 

Mmm, yes. Because these are all inventions of modernity.

 

Heh, well tales and stories have existed since ancient times of course. But the same decision was available there as well: whether to focus on the negative or the positive stuff...

[chairdriver]

That Stephen Fry quote is just wrong though. If someone were to say "I think drawing is a really fucking stupid waste of your time", you'd have every right to be offended, we'd respect you for being offended (I'd think less of you if you weren't offended) and it would serve a purpose in forming your identity as a person.

 

People say "I never get offended". That's a lie. If I write, in shit, all over your house horrid things about your family members, if you're not offended, then you aren't a real human being.

[Beast]

The thing is, I'm still a hundred times more affected by these bad things happening in real life than I ever am when they feature in fictional media. I get depressed when I read about the unfairness of the capitalist economy of America. My blood boils when I hear about injustice in the world. I am horrified by violence in real life. And I'm an autist, for crying out loud! I'm not even supposed to feel empathy.

 

On the contrary, when I see or read horrible stuff in fiction, it's a relief to know it isn't real.

 

I can agree with you a good deal of the way, that the world needs more positivity. But I don't believe fiction is responsible for the lack hereof; I believe the real world is.

 

I agree with this. There are some things I wouldn't laugh at that others would but I wouldn't say they're a bad person for laughing at it, just that they have bad taste, but don't we all? People laugh at bad subjects no matter if it's sex, abortions, child loss, rape, racism, sexism, etc, but it doesn't mean we don't feel anything if it was real.

 

As Dannyboy said, I get angry when there's injustice and I'm disgusted with violence and murder just for fun and stuff but I can feel relief to know that what you watch or read isn't real and I, too, believe that fiction isn't responsible and that the world is.

 

People can argue that fiction influences people and they'd be right in some circumstances but the reality is that people and their actions influence others. I'm more affected by the news than anything because most of the time, it either depresses me or makes me mad.

 

That Stephen Fry quote is just wrong though. If someone were to say "I think drawing is a really fucking stupid waste of your time", you'd have every right to be offended, we'd respect you for being offended (I'd think less of you if you weren't offended) and it would serve a purpose in forming your identity as a person.

 

People say "I never get offended". That's a lie. If I write, in shit, all over your house horrid things about your family members, if you're not offended, then you aren't a real human being.

 

Those are two completely different circumstances though.

 

If you said to me "Writing is a really fucking stupid waste of time", I literally would not be offended. I would say "I don't think it is but it's your opinion and you're entitled to it". Now, if you made that personally about me then yeah, I'd be offended but you just said it in general so it wouldn't bother me.

 

Now, this is where it's different. See, you're saying that you're writing horrible things about my family in shit, you're personally attacking me and my family as well as making my house dirty and smelly so of course, I'd be offended.

 

That Stephen Fry quote is just wrong though. If someone were to say "I think drawing is a really fucking stupid waste of your time", you'd have every right to be offended, we'd respect you for being offended (I'd think less of you if you weren't offended) and it would serve a purpose in forming your identity as a person.

 

People say "I never get offended". That's a lie. If I write, in shit, all over your house horrid things about your family members, if you're not offended, then you aren't a real human being.

 

Those are two completely different circumstances though.

 

If you said to me "Writing is a really fucking stupid waste of time", I literally would not be offended. I would say "I don't think it is but it's your opinion and you're entitled to it". Now, if you made that personally about me then yeah, I'd be offended but you just said it in general so it wouldn't bother me.

 

Now, this is where it's different. See, you're saying that you're writing horrible things about my family in shit, you're personally attacking me and my family as well as making my house dirty and smelly so of course, I'd be offended.

[The Peeps]

That Stephen Fry quote is just wrong though. If someone were to say "I think drawing is a really fucking stupid waste of your time", you'd have every right to be offended, we'd respect you for being offended (I'd think less of you if you weren't offended) and it would serve a purpose in forming your identity as a person.

 

People say "I never get offended". That's a lie. If I write, in shit, all over your house horrid things about your family members, if you're not offended, then you aren't a real human being.

 

Except he's obviously talking about people offended by things on TV. Don't take him out of context. Some people may well be offended by what they see on television but they have the option to not watch. It's not up to them to decide what everyone else is allowed to view and that's what Stephen Fry was getting at.

[Ville]

The thing is, I'm still a hundred times more affected by these bad things happening in real life than I ever am when they feature in fictional media. I get depressed when I read about the unfairness of the capitalist economy of America. My blood boils when I hear about injustice in the world. I am horrified by violence in real life. And I'm an autist, for crying out loud! I'm not even supposed to feel empathy.

 

Yeah, well that's the thing...this kind of horrible shit exists in the world already, so that's pretty much enough already! I do not want to watch simulations of it, nor make jokes about stuff like rape! I'd rather create and focus on something more positive and inspiring...

 

On the contrary, when I see or read horrible stuff in fiction, it's a relief to know it isn't real.

 

Yep, luckily that's true.

 

I can agree with you a good deal of the way, that the world needs more positivity. But I don't believe fiction is responsible for the lack hereof; I believe the real world is.

 

Yeah, it's a reflection of the real world, the negative thought patterns and world views...thus also keeping them alive. It really is the mind which we want to change, that would change the fiction as well...though I don't say eradicate all violence etc, because such things will probably always exist anyway, and thus do portray reality accurately. It's just a matter of balance: which do you focus on more in life, positive or negative things...

Edited June 2, 2011 by Ville

[chairdriver]

At the end of the day, if I'm genuinely offended by something, I'll do shit about it.

 

 

On Monday, at dinner, I was sat next to a guy who I'm vaguely friendly with, who I've had a couple of shared experiences with in the past. We were talking about Requiem For A Dream, which I saw recently. Standard conversation -- interesting direction, nice music, bit "off-the-wall" (his terms, not mine) blah blah.. THEN he said

"And that scene with Jennifer Connelly and the dildo was so hot."

with a bit of a smile on his face. Not even laughing in a sort of "I know it's wrong and I'm being ironic" way, in a "I'm such a lad, and that floats my boat" way.

 

I literally placed my knife and fork down onto the plate. One of the few times in life I've genuinely felt disgusted. Like... the whole point of the film is to slam into your face the dreadfulness of drugs and drugs culture that goes with it. The point of the film is to make you feel violated, and make you wish the system of power which forces people into prostitution didn't exist. It's feasible that you might find that scene arousing, but really, you should NOT be broadcasting that. Not only did he ignore the fact that the sexual act was pretty much non-consensual and the women were literally objects to be played with, he totally missed the point.

 

I kinda just didn't say anything, then a second later changed the subject to how it was interesting that the mother rebought the TV over and over, and that was an addiction in itself.

 

Just left me thinking "Well now I know why we're not better friends."

Edited June 2, 2011 by chairdriver

[mcj metroid]

I'm only offended by something if it's meant maliciously. For example, if someone called me a FAG and it was meant to be hurtful.. But I would never get offended by a simple joke.

 

If you were laughing all through the film - fine! If you only laughed during the rape scene - possibly not fine! I'm sure you guys can be secure in yourselves, knowing that you don't actually fine rape in itself funny.

 

I pretty much hold the view that anything in a film can be laughed at. Cos IT'S A FILM.

 

Nah it was during the whole movie. We do it for a LOT of movies though, especially horror movies.

 

Think he said something like " what the fuck ye watching" and I said " oh tis a good rom-com for all the family" and jazz.. He got offended lol.

[Daft]

Stephen Fry can be a real dipshit.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Yeah, well that's the thing...this kind of horrible shit exists in the world already, so that's pretty much enough already! I do not want to watch simulations of it, nor make jokes about stuff like rape! I'd rather create and focus on something more positive and inspiring...

 

 

 

Yep, luckily that's true.

 

 

 

Yeah, it's a reflection of the real world, the negative thought patterns and world views...thus also keeping them alive. It really is the mind which we want to change, that would change the fiction as well...though I don't say eradicate all violence etc, because such things will probably always exist anyway, and thus do portray reality accurately. It's just a matter of balance: which do you focus on more in life, positive or negative things...

 

I guess we've found our first big difference in opinion, then.

 

At the end of the day, if I'm genuinely offended by something, I'll do shit about it.

 

 

On Monday, at dinner, I was sat next to a guy who I'm vaguely friendly with, who I've had a couple of shared experiences with in the past. We were talking about Requiem For A Dream, which I saw recently. Standard conversation -- interesting direction, nice music, bit "off-the-wall" (his terms, not mine) blah blah.. THEN he said

"And that scene with Jennifer Connelly and the dildo was so hot."

with a bit of a smile on his face. Not even laughing in a sort of "I know it's wrong and I'm being ironic" way, in a "I'm such a lad, and that floats my boat" way.

 

I literally placed my knife and fork down onto the plate. One of the few times in life I've genuinely felt disgusted. Like... the whole point of the film is to slam into your face the dreadfulness of drugs and drugs culture that goes with it. The point of the film is to make you feel violated, and make you wish the system of power which forces people into prostitution didn't exist. It's feasible that you might find that scene arousing, but really, you should NOT be broadcasting that. Not only did he ignore the fact that the sexual act was pretty much non-consensual and the women were literally objects to be played with, he totally missed the point.

 

I kinda just didn't say anything, then a second later changed the subject to how it was interesting that the mother rebought the TV over and over, and that was an addiction in itself.

 

Just left me thinking "Well now I know why we're not better friends."

 

But that episode is entirely beside the point since he actually meant what he said, no?

[Rummy]

Personally I love dark jokes. For example I've got this black friend...

[Jamba]

I probably get a bit more offended and annoyed by things other people do than I should. That's mostly due to being annoyed and frustrated with other things but yeah...

 

Anyway, the thing I find interesting is this: is the film meant to be funny? If you watch Evil Dead 2 then you are going to laugh because it is both jumpy and funny and purposefully plays on what is a classic human reflex to laugh at things we don't know how to deal with. But if you watch something like Dancer in the Dark and laugh the whole way through the film (not because you think the film is dumb) and you are still laughing when she bludgeons her friend to death with a metal toolbox then you have to look at yourself.

 

You're not meant to laugh at some things. That's not the point of what the director is showing you in a lot of cases. Just as if you started crying during the opening of the Lion King, unless you have a phobia of sunrises of African singing!

 

I think that a distinction needs to be made though. Laughing directly at something, such as farcical comedy, is very different to nervously laughing when something genuinely scares you.

 

If I watch a horror movie I wants to be scared and if that comes out occasionally as laughter than fine but I do find it hard to understand the relatively new trend of watching overly gory movies for the purpose of laughing, not to be shocked.

[Dog-amoto]

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape so I don't see the problem with it.

[ReZourceman]

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape so I don't see the problem with it.

 

Actually, this reminds me of something. I'll tell you what offends me in humour. Fucking unfunny little wankers. Like this joke here (funny/amazing) but I think twice I've heard a near identical response from people.....of;

 

"Hur hur, but which 9?"

 

 

.......................Fuck off. Adds nothing/yes you get it, well done. Piss off/die/stop poisoning my life.

[Jamba]

 

Actually, this reminds me of something. I'll tell you what offends me in humour. Fucking unfunny little wankers. Like this joke here (funny/amazing) but I think twice I've heard a near identical response from people.....of;

 

"Hur hur, but which 9?"

 

 

.......................Fuck off. Adds nothing/yes you get it, well done. Piss off/die/stop poisoning my life.

 

That is interesting as a lot of people feel that way about your sense humour.