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Bloody Slash - An N-Europe Horror Story


ReZourceman

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Why can't you use your ability to add to the continuity of the story to make these "randomers" into members, in whatever way (secret indentities)?

 

It's not hard.

 

Oh I will do, but I was just wondering why you are creating loads of new characters, and none of them are forum members, when it's in the first post that this is the point. I mean that zombie queen, whatever her name was, could have been a member, but now she's dead it just seems like she was a pointless character. We could have killed off a person who doesn't post, or made her dynastygal, a zombie who refused to eat meat...anything like that would have been awesome, you see?

 

Anyway, as you were people.

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Oh I will do, but I was just wondering why you are creating loads of new characters, and none of them are forum members, when it's in the first post that this is the point. I mean that zombie queen, whatever her name was, could have been a member, but now she's dead it just seems like she was a pointless character. We could have killed off a person who doesn't post, or made her dynastygal, a zombie who refused to eat meat...anything like that would have been awesome, you see?

 

Anyway, as you were people.

 

Well I don't see what difference it makes...there is such a thing as retcon. Plus as evidenced, we already have flashbacks. :hmm:

 

You have good ideas, use them! :santa:

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I dunno. Seems like you're taking it too far off the intended course to be honest. Fori and Fjork? Come on. Nintendohnut was right.

 

Fori = Tori Amos, Fjork = Björk, Fate = Kate Bush...

 

But yeah, would be more fun with just members, even though I have no clue what is going on in this story anyway. O.o;

Edited by Eenuh
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I do have to say that I agree with Eenuh: I, too, have problems following the story all the time. Everything does seem a little "loose". New, random characters get added (characters that I hope will be revealed as forum members at some point), powers and abilities are quite strange and "far out", and extreme things happen all the time. I know it's not supposed to be completely believable, but could we at least try to keep it within the boundaries of plausibility - at least to a certain degree? Let's try to make this more interesting to read, not just let our imaginations run loose.

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Well, Chair introduced Fjork to be fair, and I killed her off. Fori is the only main character that is kinda like that. It's only an in-joke, that really means nothing. It's not like they're referencing the people their names stem from (except in chair's posts).

 

They could be called anything.

 

I'm over it. You can just kill the story here if you/ReZ wants. I don't mind. No one is actually adding ot it except me and chair, people compalined about us adding too much too quickly, so we didn't, but then no one did anything. It became a more fluent story, and no one wanted to add anything. Make up your minds.

 

People are obviously sick of the idiosyncrasies/in-jokes to only a few people in my posts, and it's fine if people want the story about a zombie invasion featuring people with names like Dazz666 to be more realistic.

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I agree with a setiment mentioned earlier; if you don't like teh story then write your own reply and alter it :P

 

I agree.

 

But people obviously can't do that, instead wanting one they wrote themselves from the start.

 

Best to just appease everyone else, I'm sure I've been annoying everyone recently.

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The only problem with the story is that you and chair both jumped in from the start and took it off in a crazy direction for a long time. Now we're stuck in this random universe, with random characters being introduced everywhere and nobody knows what's going on enough to make it a 'normal' story any more.

 

This is supposed to be a horror story but is suddenly a sci-fi action adventure. The start was fine, a castle, some murders, a beast with blood on them... then it went a bit weird. At his point I would love to be able to say "Eenuh woke up from her terrible dream in a cabin in a dark wood at full moon... etc" but I refuse to do the 'she woke up and found that all the shit that had happened was a dream' simply because that is the worst thing you can do in a story. If anyone can think of a way to get this back onto earth with a proper horror theme then go right ahead, but I think its too late now.

 

How about we just start again, try to stick to a certain genre, and not go too crazy with characters unless we can work them in better?

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To be fair, horror is a terrible genre to place this story in. How is a story made in posts on the internet by various members ever going to be chilling or whatever?

 

So it has to be interesting. Sci-Fi is more interesting. Actually compelling a genre to read. Not saying the story here is good, but i can't imagine 10+ ages of posts saying "And then X hacked off his head! / And then it eat his brains!" would be any better.

 

Maybe it's just me that can tell what's going on atm;

 

Caduceus Inc. is some great team that must protect (people? the earth? who knows), and the first really random bit was all a simulation, a la The Danger Room in X-Men.

 

Their technician, James (a super-intelligent gorilla) informs them that a splinter group of Zombies (in this story, not cliched, they're intelligent and use the same tech as humans) were at Brook Point (which i expanded into them trying to disable some mainframe thingy to allow them to attack cities and what not).

 

They fly off, all the while one of their number, Fori harbouring a dark secre,t and who is forced (how/why we don't know) to try and eliminate his team mates. He kills James and Nightwolf, as Ashley (the talking camera) look on in horror. Fori then sabotages the party of 6 team members who go to stop the zombies' striders, and so they end up falling through the sky, to certain doom.

 

However, the digital ghost-being, Haggis uses his powers to "fuse" all the members together, the combined power of this unified being "Fate" surviving the fall.

 

Fate and Haggis are soon attacked by the zombie group, having been spotted from Brook Point. They are captured briefly, learning of the leader of the group (Fjork)'s plan, only to defeat the zombies with the help of another member of Caduceus Inc., Jimbob.

 

Then the last few bits have been Fori's backstory, explanation. Some shadowy organisation, run by this nudist woman, Lady Pfhair (or whatever it was) has him under her control/bidding. She uses a wraith inside his brain (Falanis ...) to control him, as this wraith can conrol the pleasure and pain centers of his brain.

 

Last thing we see (IIRC) is Fori heading toward to exhausted team in the woods near Brook Point (Fate now seperated into seperae beings once again). They know he betrayed them, etc. What happens next blah blah.

 

---

 

it all made sense in my mind.

 

For fuck sake people, stop the the whining and continue the story. Jesus.

 

Nobody else wants to. I say let them do whatever the fuck they want...I just wish they'd get on with it. :p

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I agree with both Nintendohnut and Paj. I think the sci-fi theme works very well (we are geeks, after all :heh:), more so than a horror theme would (even though I was the one who sparked that idea in the first place :heh:).

 

Anyway, I also feel that the story has taken an extreme turn. It's not because the story is too hard to follow, but the constant adding of weird elements makes it a bit troublesome (at least for me). I feel as if this is what ReZ tried to prevent by stating that we should respect the others' posts, e.g. not playing the dream card. We should try to stick to things as they are instead of constantly competing on coming up with more and more extreme elements.

 

Also, I would very much like to join in on the writing, but the things mentioned above make it hard for me to do so. (But that might just be me. :heh:) That is essentially why I chose to focus on Fori, as I felt I would be better at adding something to that.

Edited by Dannyboy-the-Dane
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I think the story's great, I just don't think people are reading it :P ReZ's original intention was to keep interest up by having people write themselves/other members into the story at any turn.

 

I do like the way it has gone, but it's just not easily join-in-able (what's the word I'm not thinking of?), is all.

 

Hell, who says there can only be one story going at a time?

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Alrighty then, nice idea Jayseven

 

As Fori approached the group from one side of the forest, to the north a team of commandos were fighting their way through the dense undergrowth, carrying their injured comrade and keeping a look out for Zombies at all times. It was tough work getting through the thick vines and gnarled roots that threatened to trip the group at any moment. Jordan, the Captain of the Commando unit, signalled back to his people to stop, set up a small base, and scout out the perimeter. Once the area was confirmed to be clear, D_Prodigy, the fish and Cube (the team used codenames wherever possible, and many of the operatives had never revealed their names to their comrades) approached Jordan for orders.

 

"Sir, I understand why we're stopping, but there isn't much more we can do for Eddage right now, and we really need to reach the Caduceus team before it's too late," reminded the fish.

 

"I'm aware of that!" Snapped Jordan. "Listen up people, we all need a break - this is tough work. We move out again in five."

 

Ignoring the grumbled complaints from the fish to an uncaring Cube, Jordan went over to check on his fallen man.

 

"How're you doin', Eddage? He asked, briefly glancing at Hellfire, the Medic.

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Eddage lifted his head weakly from the stretcher. He smiled sheepishly.

 

"I'm doin' fine, capta..." he said, breaking into a violent coughing fit.

 

"I told you to lie down and relax," Hellfire scoffed at him, worry showing on his face as he bent down and gave Eddage another injection. "For the pain," he said.

 

As Eddage laid his head down and closed his eyes, Hellfire signaled to Jordan to come with him. The two men walked away a little, and Hellfire spoke in a low voice:

 

"As you can see, he isn't exactly in top condition. To be honest," he said, pausing with a furrowed brow, "he's not doing good. His injuries are bad, and there's not much more I can do for him out here. I'll have to agree with The fish; his best chances of survival are if we can reach Brook Point soon. There he can receive proper medical treatment."

 

"You don't have to whisper, I can hear you perfectly well," a weak voice said behind them. Eddage had heard everything.

 

Jordan turned to his teammate and mustered a weak smile. "You're strong, Edd. I ask you to hold out a little while longer."

 

Eddage gave a little fist pump before lying back and closing his eyes yet again. "All right, team," Jordan called out, "we move again!"

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Seeing as everyone else is away/sulking/ignoring the thread I shall continue...

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the woods...

 

The team began to walk towards Fori, realising that something was wrong. They were all silently asking themselves what had caused their striders to fall, and they knew that something had to have happened. Not only that but they had lost radio contact with James shortly after the crash, initially putting it down to interferance or damage from the crash. Having checked over their equipement and seen the clear skies, however, they knew that something else must've happened.

 

"Why isn't he coming over?" Asked Coolness quietly.

 

"That's what I want to know," growled Dazz, placing one hand on his gun.

 

Jimbob coughed. He was in a bad way but he didn't want the others to know. "Guys, something's wrong. Just before the crash I thought I heard something on the radio. James was telling me you guys were coming, then there was a noise of some kind, then silence. I don't know what happened.

 

"Was that all you heard?" Asked Raining_Again, a worried look on her face.

 

"He also told me there is a team of commandos working their way through that wood towards us. Should be here pretty soon.

 

Raining_Again nodded, glancing at Jay briefly and sharing a look. Soon might not be soon enough.

 

Suddenly, a huge explosion in the sky made the teams heads snap upwards, as...

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...they saw a bright white light in the skies. They couldn't see anything, they were temporarily blinded by this light. This light started to give them headache and then this light started to fade.

 

"What was that?" Coolness asked.

 

"I don't know but whoever done it, didn't want us to see them" said R_A.

 

The team stood there, perplexed by what had just happened.

 

"OK, let's find them before they find us" shouted R_A and everyone agreed.

 

There was one problem though, none of them could move and then they heard a noise. A deafening loud noise and then, out of nowhere, a .....

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... a huge, metallic, plate-like object appeared, hovering above them and slowly descending, the deafening noise threatening to pierce their eardrums.

 

"A blinding flash, frozen in time, and now a flying saucer? What is this, an episode of a bad science fiction show?" Raining_again shouted through the noise, suddenly remembering her geeky friend who always constantly blabbered about a certain sci-fi series from the '90s. "What's next, a grey alien?"

 

As if on cue, a flap on the underside of the UFO opened, a beam of light shooting out and lighting the ground beside them. A blurry silhouette descended through the light beam, hovering slowly towards the ground until it finally landed softly in front of them. As it came close to them, they realised it wasn't an alien - quite on the contrary, it was a face very familiar to them ...

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