Daft Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Jacqui Smith's husband was definitely not watching gay porn I think I may have solved the mystery of the Jacqui Smith "porngate" scandal: it was all a terrible mistake. Consider the two "adult" pay-per-view movie titles for which Smith's husband Richard Timney is alleged accidentally to have charged the British taxpayer £10: Raw Meat 3 and By Special Request. Having trawled extensively through the internet's adult sites - as you do on a quiet Monday - I am unable to find any information about the precise contents of By Special Request. I did find a film called Raw Meat 3, though. But oddly it appears to be aimed mainly at viewers with an interest in handsome young men. Starring the well-greased bodies of "Duncan", "Valentino" and the gloriously named "Tigers Wood", Raw Meat 3 wittily tags itself "It's the end of the world - and we blow it!". Clearly it would be quite inconceivable to imagine that a man married to a woman as attractive and intelligent as Jacqui Smith could be driven to watching homo-erotic pornography. I think we can therefore safely assume one of two things: Either: 1 The Smith/Timney household was entered on the night in question by a very cheeky gay burglar, who sneakily sat watching Raw Meat 3 while poor Mr Timney was fast asleep. Or 2. Mr Timney is a closet gastronome who downloaded Raw Meat 3 on the perfectly understandable assumption that it contained exciting new variants on the recipe for Steak Tartare. Whichever of these is true, I would like to think as that as a nation we are now able to exonerate poor Mr and Mrs Timney of all charges, and never snigger at them ever again. Not even behind their backs. It would be wrong, wrong, wrong. MP's expenses. I mean, what the f*cking hell?! Jacqui Smith claimed £1000 on a new shower?! This is crazy. I want to hear everyone's scorn! Or weak arse justification. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jordan Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 My thoughts were: He paid for porn?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyson Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I'm confused by the story. Is this a joke or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 My thoughts were: He paid for porn?! Haha! Yeah, that's what I thought. I mean, we know they have fast broadband! I'm confused by the story. Is this a joke or not? It's a joke...I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 My thoughts were: He paid for porn?! That's what I thought. Why pay £10 when you have the internet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 That little article is a joke. But the scandal is real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 So an MP has been caught using tax payers money to purchase gay porn yes? Personally im a bit tired of porn at the moment. Its all that gets played in the living room lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 What's going on here? EDIT: Oh I get it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 What's going on here? Lol, I just envisioned the wife from Nathalie saying this as she storms into a room to see sins of the flesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Lol, I just envisioned the wife from Nathalie saying this as she storms into a room to see sins of the flesh. Would she really say that though? She's abnormally attracted to sin, as we know only too well. She loves watching people going down on each other. P.S You left that over here. I snapped the disc. kthxbai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Would she really say that though? She's abnormally attracted to sin, as we know only too well. She loves watching people going down on each other. P.S You left that over here. I snapped the disc. kthxbai A brilliant cunt. Oxymoron? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Oxymoron? No... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 No... Just checking you're still awake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Just checking you're still awake. I'm restless. Can't you see I try my bestest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Captain Falcon Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 In all fairness, it's not like tax payers money gets spent on anything worthwhile these days anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris the great Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 she says she got the tv package on expenses by accident with the internet. is it me, or does any one else think that she could easily afford the internet any way? i managed as student. to be honest, the porn dosent bother me to much, its the fact they watched oceans 13 two ngihts in a row. its an AWFUL movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Funny enough, I was just browsing this link on the BBC website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7972137.stm Do people regulate where this money goes or gets spent? Well, probably not, I dunno. But, the fact alone that he viewed porn seemed to spark an outcry amongst many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadKill Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Jacqui Smith claimed £1000 on a new shower?! This is crazy. No, this is now completely expected. We're being taken for a ride constantly, and treated like a bunch of fucking filth by the government. The only difference is, now we know all about it. Enjoy edit: Oh, and any news putting wacky jacqui down is good news Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 So was it actually gay porn or not? That BBC website doesn't specify. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmac Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Funny enough, I was just browsing this link on the BBC website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7972137.stm Do people regulate where this money goes or gets spent? Well, probably not, I dunno. But, the fact alone that he viewed porn seemed to spark an outcry amongst many. the only reason this has came up is because MPs now have to declare their expenses to the public, however they are still allowed to black out specific items on bills to hide what they've bought which sort of defeats the purpose. Surely one guy claiming £300k in expenses is worse than someone paying for some porn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbob Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 (edited) In all fairness, it's not like tax payers money gets spent on anything worthwhile these days anyway. I think the last thing it was used was that tatty second hand briefcase that is used on the Budget. It makes me laugh with all this in the news these days. It really does. Edited March 31, 2009 by Jimbob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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