ipaul Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 It's alright, I've been shagging your girlfriend so I would say we're even.
Guest Stefkov Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 For the amount of shards on the floor I get to hit you in the face that many times. Dont worry I'm fucking loaded mate, I can afford 3 more. Just rub that in your stupid fucking head.
Mundi Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 It´s because of things like this that made me murder your parents...
MoogleViper Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 "Wow! That went through the TV harder than I went through your mum."
Emasher Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 You: Thats OK it was just a knock off anyway. Friend: Really? You: Nope, pay up or I'll have my elite team of hit-men throw you out a 20th story window.
MoogleViper Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 "Haha jokes on you. I stole that TV from your house."
Guest Stefkov Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 You best start running or I'll shove that wiimote up a place where the sun don't shine.
EEVILMURRAY Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 "Prince Ali, yes it is he but not as you know him. Read my lips, and come to grips, with reality. Yes meet a blast from your past, Who's lies were to good to last! Say Hello to your precious! Prince! Ali!" Most inappropriate.
ipaul Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I wonder if your girlfriend will smash into that many pieces when I'm doing her tonight. This should be judged before we lose it =P
ShadowV7 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 "Haha jokes on you. I stole that TV from your house." This ones the winner in my eyes. Would of picked earlier but been busy-ish today. This made me laugh a lot when I read it and it beats reading about sexual references all the time
MoogleViper Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 OK You are a doctor and are about to tell a patient that they are terminally ill.
Guest Jordan Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 "Oh man, I have to tell this guy next that he's gunna die from cancer, he's so fucked... Oh shit."
Mr_Odwin Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I am a really healthy guy, and by "I am" I mean "you are" and by "a really healthy guy" I mean "gonna die real soon".
weeyellowbloke Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 "So, ummmmm, you've not got any plans for the holidays have you?" "Ok, Bambi's mum, JFK, Genghis Khan, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, James Brown and you in in a few months. What do they all have in common?" "I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is I've just had the bailiffs come round to repossess my house. The good news is you're dying soon and the hospital have said I can take your bed until I find a new place."
Guest Stefkov Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 So *claps hands* Great news! You're terminally ill.
ReZourceman Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 "Good news or the bad news?... ...The good ; you're not dead yet. The bad ; you will be soon." ------------ "Sucks for you!" ------------ "Well Mrs Hampton, you're pregnant" "My names Mr Sampson....." "....Oh, then you're gonna die."
weeyellowbloke Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 "Look on the brightside, you'll leave a beautiful corpse." ----------------------------------------------------- "So, you work at the airport I see" "No, I work at the garage" "Why does it say terminal 3 here then. Oh wait, forgot my glasses"
ipaul Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 You know I could really use a new TV and I don't think you'll be using yours from now on...
Vicar Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 If you are lucky you can be a body in the next CSI series. ------------------------------------------------------ Good news you don't have a tumor, but your still going to die. ------------------------------------------------------ I looks like your not going to see the next Batman movie....Sucks to be you. ------------------------------------------------------ Well you just might make it to Christmas if your lucky. ------------------------------------------------------
Guest Stefkov Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 'So just a quick question.. Are you a virgin?' 'uum, yeah why?' 'Oh man. Sucks to be you then.'
ipaul Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 'So just a quick question.. Are you a virgin?''uum, yeah why?' 'Looks like I'm your last chance then '
weeyellowbloke Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 "For some reason I was just reminded of my old dog Lucy. Poor thing died about a year ago. She struggled on for weeks in utter agony before she died. I really miss her." "I'm really sorry to hear that, but what's this got to do with me." "Uhh, you'll find out soon enough."
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