The Friend Zone

[harribo]

That my friend sounds like an utterly amazing date. Wish I could experince one of your dates

 

Wish I could experiance a date.

[Cube]

Closest thing I've had was going out to a pub with one of my friends, then back to hers for a bit.

 

We basically just talked.

[Rummy]

I'm wondering, is this friend zone theory specific to the guy in question? Or is it variable depending on the girl? I get the feeling the general jist here is guy specific, but I view it as being different for different girls, like, I am in one girl's friend zone, but not another's.

[Eenuh]

I'm wondering, is this friend zone theory specific to the guy in question? Or is it variable depending on the girl? I get the feeling the general jist here is guy specific, but I view it as being different for different girls, like, I am in one girl's friend zone, but not another's.

 

Should be different for each girl, but I guess once you end up in one girl's friend zone, it's also easier to end up in the friend zone of another girl (cause of your personality and all that jazz or something)?

[Charlie]

Cinema £30 for both...yes its £15 a ticket to go to the cinema in Leicester Square. (the tate is free )

 

However she kindly paid for the cinema as I paid for the rest.

 

So what did she say when she found your manmeat in the popcorn?

[Eenuh]

Not all do, and it's that type of stereotyping that I think creates a problem for some . It's quite tiring to have girls think i'm trying to get in their pants when it's really not a priority to me.

 

But if you're not, then I don't see what is wrong with being in the Friends zone? Cause if you were interested in one of those girls as your girlfriend, then that also implies certain levels of intimacy further down the line.

[killthenet]

Damn it. I'm party to this friend zone shite too. Was always getting told "I only like you as a friend" and I consistantly misjudged situations. Trouble is being constantly rejected like that makes you stop asking girls out for fear of rejection or ruining friendships.

 

Came back to haunt me about 3/4 years ago. Met this girl at sixth form, an international student over in England for a couple of years. Got to know her, became really good friends with her. Really liked her and I had a feeling she really liked me, but I didn't say anything, because of what had happened in the past. Thinking about it since, I'm sure that she liked me in the same way, but I buggered it up because of past experience.

 

On the topic of the "friend ladder". I read some of it and it was pretty dull reading, it's glaringly obvious that he just has a severe hatred of women after being put down so many times. Well, hopefully with all the (theoretical) money he made from his theory he bought a couple of hours with a prostitute and took his anger out on his wang...er.

[Colin]

Thought I'd bump this........dunno how far back it is as I searched it.

 

Problem is, at Uni there's 5 of us who are really good friends, and we all got acquainted really well within the first few days of being at Uni. But one of these 5 is a girl, and we're all moving in together next year.

 

I've always thought I was in the good ladder with this girl, and I know I have the biggest connection with her out of us all.

 

Then the other night I kind of half attempted to take it to another level, but kind of knowing myself that if any of us lot had anything going on with her it would cause friction and various problems.

 

We watched a film together in bed after coming back from a night out being totally wrecked alcohol wise. Film ended and then we snuggled/spooned and all that bullshit with arms around each other etc. We both turned round facing each other with our lips and faces being like an inch away while breathing heavily into one another for an amount of time where I feel we were waiting for someone to make a move.

 

I'm sure it was on both of our minds, but then again what happens if one of us was just wrong (that probably being me). Then we parted ways as both needed some proper sleep.

 

And now the abyss is looming I feel, although we have been talking like normally to some extent but just not as much as we usually do. I just hope I neither of us fuck it up for the whole group of us, as we're all well close and pretty much best of mates. Saying best of mates there in a way is my answer that nothing should really be done.......but sometimes that's hard.

 

I'm not confiding in n-e for answers to the situation, as I think looking for answers about relationships and all that from people on an internet forum is getting a bit desperate. Think I just needed to talk about it a bit, whether that be residing it in a post to myself or just sharing it with people.

 

This is a good thread though, and talking about these things really does help us I feel.

[Guest Jordan]

I can't believe i didn't see this thread before, jeeze.

After reading through it all, i was in the so called 'Friend Zone' for a good few years actually. I only really had one girlfriend untill i met Letty of course.

 

You have to start off as friends like Eenuh said, it has to start somewhere. But the problem i found is that alot of girls are minipulative bitches, seriously. They really enjoy playing with peoples feelings, and believe me i known alot of them.

 

This is why Letty is so different, we get on so well because we're so much the same in so many aspects, sure the distance isn't ideal but i'm madly in love with the girl... And yeah, we haven't really been on a 'date' so to speak we mostly just go for walks and go to respective towns in Shetland/Halifax... but i'm taking her out for my birthday which could be quite fun .

 

I dunno, i'd really really hate to be single now that i know what love is really like, i know some of you people can be pessimistic and say 'shes your first real girlfriend!' or 'shes younger than you!' or whatever, but at the end of the day if you find someone you want you go after them and you do not give up, unless a court order is issued of course.

 

And that concludes my most boring long winded post of the month...

[killthenet]

You really should've kissed her.

 

Spooning? That's a signal and half.

[Colin]

I can't believe i didn't see this thread before, jeeze.

Looks like this did need a bit of a bump then, considering some people had missed it previously. Glad you've had the chance to read through it though.

 

You have to start off as friends like Eenuh said, it has to start somewhere. But the problem i found is that alot of girls are minipulative bitches, seriously. They really enjoy playing with peoples feelings, and believe me i known alot of them.

I'd mostly agree with the fact you have to start out as friends for having really good relationships, and these are the ones that last and the ones we all want......they just don't come too often and when it doesn't turn out to be, then you'll feel like the world has fallen apart or something. I had a relationship with someone for a good few years where we had just met on a night out, not knowing each other previously, and throughout I felt for me there was no connection what so ever, and that whole relationship was more a case of we'd just like to screw each other and so it was all lust and attraction. But when you have this sort of relationship sometimes one of the people in it falls drastically for the other, with the other person in the relationship has no feelings what so ever.

 

The manipulative part is frustrating and makes you feel like an absolute joke when you've had a connection with someone for so long. But sometimes you just have to make sure you're strong personality wise that you're not such a pushover and someone who can be used purely as cock teasing fodder.

 

This is why Letty is so different, we get on so well because we're so much the same in so many aspects, sure the distance isn't ideal but i'm madly in love with the girl...

You'll never forget your first love, and because of this when (and or if) it does end it'll be unbearable. Would of thought everyone would know that though. Makes me smile though when I hear people of young ages are madly in love. Happy for you both definitely.

 

And that concludes my most boring long winded post of the month...

Lame post material avoided, as somehow I made discussion out of it.......and I'm usually someone around here who tends not to discuss that much really.

 

You really should've kissed her.

 

Spooning? That's a signal and half.

Consequences made me and prob her not do anything. Don't know what will happen now, but it'll be interesting to see where the friendship goes and how it pans out over the next few days. Optimistic maybe......just got to avoid that abyss where you hardly talk to each other, as it's happened before to me with someone else in a similar situation. Maybe I can use that experience from before to my advantage. We'll see.

 

Edit - Go me....with long posts for a change.

[killthenet]

You'll tiptoe around each other for a while, then make out massively at some point.

 

You owe me several monies if that happens.

[Johnny Stichiano]

See, is it any wonder why so many of us men are bitter? Women really mess with our emotions.

 

 

Don't generalize. I'm in the same situation. I'm every guys friend. Nothing more.

[Mr. Bananagrabber]

I've only ever left the friend zone twice or so I think.

I think it's because i'm very lazy, and have trouble maintining a relationship.

I also think it's because of my fetish of shitting down girl's throats

[Haden]

I ended up in the same position as Colin before Christmas. Luckily the girl kissed me! High Five! Ok I wil get the hell out of this thread now.

 

In all seriousness. Both my current gf and former one I was friends with for a long amount of time. Both of them said to me when we began to go out why didnt you ask me out earlier lol. I was trying to be a gentleman I guess. I think the thing is if your friends for a while and the girl doesnt have a bf she has probably thought of you as a potential bf at least a few times. This isnt to say she will say yes if you ask her but well she may do. To Colin get her drunk again and have a jaw session with her! Fans of Arrested Development will get that.

 

I've only ever left the friend zone twice or so I think.

I think it's because i'm very lazy, and have trouble maintining a relationship.

I also think it's because of my fetish of shitting down girl's throats :hmm:

 

rofl kudos that was comedy gold

[Eenuh]

Well, ultimately it might lead to that, but right now I'd be happy just to be with someone as sex is really the last thing on my mind (maybe others' too) - it's totally unimportant right now and I don't think a lot of women realise that. Sex at such an early stage would be quite far from affection.

 

It doesn't matter at what stage it happens. It's just the fact that it eventually -will- happen in a long lasting relationship. And that's what a lot of girls (I think) base their decisions on. Do they ever want to have sex with that guy yes or no? If no, then it's the Friends zone for the guy; if yes, then you're on the "good" ladder. And then there's the maybe cases, which don't really have a place yet.