Aztec Rose

Her life is better than it would have been had she'd been bought by someone else. Captive breeding is the mistake. She then needs a good and caring home. And you like her too, Jay.

Grrr football grrr. You are a plague. Found a rabbit in the road with suspected myxomatosis. Calebrese attacked by caterpillars.

Jigsaw maaaadness! Impossipuzzle. Yes you are.

Yay! Hi ReZourceman. Your BISHing is excellent.

She was referred to as 'he' for the first year of her life... But she was too small for even the vet to be able to tell. She must always be warm, otherwise she will not function. Now that she's growing she's becoming more adventurous. I've had to tortoise-proof my kitchen. It's also important to check on her fairly regularly to make sure she's the right way up.

Jesse. She's about palm-size. Banana is like a drug. She's developed a habit of flipping herself upside down... She loves baths.

Both the psychological and physical impact of stress on the body can be devastating. Distracting yourself from the issue can only really provide temporary relief. Attack the problem. I know it sounds lame, but begin by trying to write down exactly how you feel. Don't try to solve anything, just write it down. Get your thoughts out your head. Order and examine each problem, worry and fear. Now create a new list. Remember the reasons why you're here. Write down your goals, your ambitions and all the things that you want to achieve. You want good things, you want to be proud and to succeed. Acknowledge and be proud of all the things you have already achieved. Most importantly, remember your motivation. Don't give up.

'So, what have you been doing recently?' Leave me alone please.

What ever happened to that T-shirt...?

Following some (understandable) hostility, my pigs have become friends.

To clear my head of crap and instead stuff it with all the good things that already exist.

It may just be me, but my animals are my babies. I feel you did the right thing, because watching your animal suffer is just awful. My tortoise suffers frequently from respiratory infections and watching her struggle to breathe is horrible. I'm sorry for your loss.

Day of failure. Sad face.

Today I asked someone how their dog is, and as I said it, I remembered that their dog is no longer alive. Shameful.

C'mon, she's no Countdown Lady. Mmm.

... I only enjoy terrible movies. My DVD 'collection' remains embarrassing for a number reasons... I suppose a small stack of every film to star Hugh Grant doesn't really count. I guess I should at least attempt to watch a proper film, a 'classic' or something. People tell me that the Lord of the Rings is supposed to be quite good. Hmm. But it's Christmas! Surely we should really be watching warm-hearted Christmas films. Now, Love Actually is very warm-hearted. Plus the casting is exceptional. Like I need an excuse.

After a lengthy search, I've finally found somewhere that sells a one-person serving of fresh soup, which also displays complete nutritional information. Both joyous and very sad.

PIGGIES! 8 weeks old, and potentially pregnant. Hopefully... More piggies!

I found a secret stash of bellybutton fluff. Coat pocket, left side. MINE.

Two baby girl guinea pigs. Or so I was told. I am scarred. The boy will be swapped tomorrow. Though the deed may well have already been done...

Dixie Chicks - Truth No. 2. Awesome.

Let me play. Hide and Seek! But no more hiding your teddy bears under your embarrassing duvets.

I want a tortoise that is the opposite sex to the one I have. This is not as easy as it sounds as I have no idea what he/she is.

Having ever seen only a handful of films, the hilarity of their impressions remained sadly unappreciated... I've never seen James Bond. Or anything starring Al Pacino. But I did enjoy their discussion about cosmetic surgery. And yeast allergies.

A baby Mediterranean Spur-thighed tortoise. His name is Jesse. Best purchase I ever made.