Posted October 24, 2006 I've done a few threads on this board when I've had something on my mind before and gotten great advice from all you lot, so I'll do another. Right, so this week I've got the week off work, and I was looking forward to it, just to have a bit of a break and relax a bit. My parents are away for a week aswell, so it means that I get the house to myself quite a bit (sisters still here though). Anyway, Saturday came, I sat downstairs had football on 360 set up, and straight away just had a horrible feeling come over me, that I haven't been able to shake all week. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I feel a bit like I don't really have any friends. I have a couple, but ones always at work, ones in America, and the other is in Liverpool and I've never met her (online friend of 2 years. In fact I have 2 friends of 2 years). A lot of my worries come from other people. I feel like if I don't go out and party with loads of teenagers then there's something wrong with me. My mom is forever saying 'Oh you need to get out more' and straight away that makes me feel bad, and like I'm doing something wrong with my life, when previously I was perfectly happy. I have a job and talk to 1-2 people there, but I'm not loud, I don't like to be noticed, and I'm not the talk of the town. I'm fine with it, but other people say I need to make more of an effort. I was told by my parents that if anything is happening at work (nights out, football etc.) that I should go and do it, I could make friends and all that crap. Straight away I'm thinking I don't want to do that. I don't enjoy loud nights out with loads of people. I do like going out with 2-3 friends, but I don't get much chance for that to happen because of what I've pointed out with my friend situation. I was going to Birmingham for a drink this week but my friend has to work, so I was going to go with one other friend, and he decided he'd invite all his mates, and now I really don't want to go since they'll be loud and I wont fit in. Sorry this has been such a massive post, a bit of an essay, and I'm not moaning like before, as like I say I'm not unhappy with my life, simply other people are making me feel like there is something wrong with me. So, am I being anti social? Or am I normal and simply this is the way I am? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 When was the last time you tried going out with lots of people? You might find that you enjoy it. I would just give it a try going with them, see what you think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I go out with my mates pretty much every day, though i am 15 it's a teenager thing. But aprt of me prefers the online life, you don't have to worry what people think about you, etc. Plus, i have a few amtes who do actually play css. If i were you, i'd go out with that group of people, eventually as the evening progresses you'll probably start getting louder, talking to them more. Just give it a shot and see waht you think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Not for a while but I tend to go into a shell and then everyones loud and having a laugh and I look miserable. I am still thinking about going, I don't know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 You shouldn't feel pressurised into doing anything. I hate the way people go out for the sake of it because they believe they 'have to' just to please others. If you want to go out, do it, if not, don't worry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I prefer to stay in on a night and play games 'tillt he early hours, maybe with a couple of beers or something. But then again, im only 15, too young for the nightlife yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I wouldn't worry about it too much mate, there's nothing wrong with you at all, different people enjoy different things. Maybe try going out with your friend and his mates I wouldn't worry if you don't enjoy it. Try not to take it to heart when your mum says you should get out more aswell, you'll probably find as you get older you meet more people like yourself who just prefer small groups of close friends and there's nowt wrong with that! Hope that helps a bit, just remember to stay positive and I know it's a cliche but be yourself :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Great responses as usual guys. I am thinking I might go out with them, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Alcohol might loosen me up a bit. I could do with meeting a woman aswell, but where am I going to meet the kind of woman I'd get on with? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 you have to balance life and gaming as hard as it can be sometimes. you also have to admit that sometimes life doesn't leave you time for gaming but gaming can always leave time for your life. right now i don't have much time for anything games wise. tis a shame cos i've been a gamer for many years, theres nothing like a good gaming session (i'm talking a single stint of 12-14 hours minimum, my max was 27 hours straight!) how old are you any way? you have school, work or both? i found that a few years at work in various jobs helped bring me out of my shell. everything comes in time, you just have to let it instead of pushing it away and staying in on the xbox etc... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Not for a while but I tend to go into a shell and then everyones loud and having a laugh and I look miserable. I am still thinking about going, I don't know. To be honest I never have had a problem making friends, I talk too much for starters, and I'm quite confident. But at parties I never use to get involved, I just use to sit there and talk. Then one party I thought screw it, had a few beverages and later found out I couldn't dance for shit. But I enjoyed myself, and so did everyone else. After that parties got better as people thought me and a few of my friends were dance machines, and people wanted us at parties because we got people dancing and generally enjoying themselves. My advise to you is to go out, try and enjoy yourself, if you aren't having fun come home, and leat you put the effort in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 There's nothing wrong with you, in fact it sounds like the situation I had at school. I was constantly badgered to go out and find new friends. I was a bit shy back then so I really didn't want to draw attention to myself. However i've changed a lot since. I'm happy with the friends I have, which is about 4-5 of us. I don't think the amount of friends you have matters. Perhaps how often you see them is. If you don't want to go out that's fair enough and understandable in this country. I don't think anyone should be forced to find friends, I don't think it can even be done as you appear desperate. If you meet people and you get on with them, you fall into a rhythm and just start hanging out. If you don't, that's fair enough. Do you go to college/uni? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Stocka is right, don't fell pressured for anything. I'm not one of going out much, I have small group of very good friends (at least i like to think so), and because people know I'm damn lazy, they don't mind if i say no (I said a lot of times), It's my nature. My advise is, if you really feel you have no friends, give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 You sound kinda like me to be honest... I only really talk to a few at work, as I'm quite a quiet guy. My life's felt really crap lately, but that's more to do with the whole thing of having to work all the time (once I get a job). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I'm not good at making friends these days, im good at either: A: Scaring them away B: Instantly disliking them for no reason Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I could do with meeting a woman aswell, but where am I going to meet the kind of woman I'd get on with? Trust me, you'd be suprised! Everyone tries to act cool but we are all the same really. Anyways if you find a woman you can always change her lol that's what I did with mine, when I met her she was a right chav, now she listens to my music, plays Animal Crossing and Mario Party with me :p Hang in there, everything will fall into place. Make sure you post and let us know how the night goes if you go out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I'm not a night life person neither, and I'm not a huge fan of parties. As a result I usually tend to make friends slowly too. If you like to hang with the guys around the water cooler at work that's probably where to start. Just ask them if they'd like to go for a drink in a quiet bar or go bowling with you sometime or something. That's all the effort you need if you want to procure some company. Don't believe any foo' who tells you have to truss yourself up like some prise turkey and do the chicken dance when you'd rather just take things easy. Two steps to being cool - A - Ignore what other people think, and be yourself. B - Just don't be an asshole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 B - Just don't be an asshole. Oh THAT's what i've been getting wrong Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Hey another person from Tamworth-Didn't expect that. :shock: At the end of the day so long as your happy then you should'nt feel pressured to conform to other peoples standards. Saying that Tamworth isn't really the hottest place for going out and is full of chavs and teenage idiots! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 B - Just don't be an asshole. yeah, save that bit for if you ever get paid for being one, then its fun... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 That really just sorta sounded like you were talking about me. I don't go out and I don't really talk to people. My parents and sisters keep telling me to go out, make friends, all that jazz. And yeah, it hurts to hear that. Especially since you don't feel like you should do all that stuff just because that's what they (and most people) consider normal. Just do your thing, do what you enjoy. You can try going out a couple of times with people (whether it's a big loud group or a small get together with a couple of friends), and you might enjoy it (one more than the other maybe), but don't feel too pressured to do that kinda stuff just because other people tell you to. I only talk to a couple of people in school, but after school it's just me going home and staying there. I don't really have any friends (if I did, I think I scared them away), but at the moment I don't really mind that much. Life is busy enough as it is and I enjoy being on my own most of the time. And if that's what you enjoy too, then I don't think you should feel bad about it. There's more people who are in the same situation as you are. =3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 Hey man I am exactly the same. I dislike loud people. However going to uni means I like going out a hell of a lot now. Just do what your comtable with maybe go out with one of your friends another time. If you live near Surrey I will go out for a drink with you! Mines a pint! Oh wait I drink womens drinks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 That really just sorta sounded like you were talking about me. I don't go out and I don't really talk to people. My parents and sisters keep telling me to go out, make friends, all that jazz. And yeah, it hurts to hear that. Especially since you don't feel like you should do all that stuff just because that's what they (and most people) consider normal. Just do your thing, do what you enjoy. You can try going out a couple of times with people (whether it's a big loud group or a small get together with a couple of friends), and you might enjoy it (one more than the other maybe), but don't feel too pressured to do that kinda stuff just because other people tell you to. I only talk to a couple of people in school, but after school it's just me going home and staying there. I don't really have any friends (if I did, I think I scared them away), but at the moment I don't really mind that much. Life is busy enough as it is and I enjoy being on my own most of the time. And if that's what you enjoy too, then I don't think you should feel bad about it. There's more people who are in the same situation as you are. =3 Nice to know there's other people like me : D you have to balance life and gaming as hard as it can be sometimes. you also have to admit that sometimes life doesn't leave you time for gaming but gaming can always leave time for your life. right now i don't have much time for anything games wise. tis a shame cos i've been a gamer for many years, theres nothing like a good gaming session (i'm talking a single stint of 12-14 hours minimum, my max was 27 hours straight!) how old are you any way? you have school, work or both? i found that a few years at work in various jobs helped bring me out of my shell. everything comes in time, you just have to let it instead of pushing it away and staying in on the xbox etc... Thanks for the reply, but this isn't a gaming issue. I don't stay in because I want to play games. If I went out, I'd still play games just as much. And to whoever else, I'm 19 and I work, left school a year ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 if you wanna be social, smoke weed. Meet loads of mad people from it, and its generally a good time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 24, 2006 I'm 23 years old and I dislike going out. I hate clubs and pubs (dont drink either). It just bores me to tears. I dont have many friends. My best friend is my fiancee and theres nothing I like more than just staying in and chilling out. I'm told to get out more and meet new people by the family but what they dont understand is that I just dont enjoy going out and doing that kind of thing. I'm not going to be made to do things that I dont like. I was kind of the same at High school, everyone was into that hanging outside shops and dossing the streets whether it was warm it or freezing cold but me I'd rather go home and chill in my room as opposed to walking around a street and dying a slow death of boredem. I like going places with my gf and thats it. And thats the way I like it. Your not weird. So dont let it worry you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
