Iun Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 (edited) Yesterday, I was witness to the final moments of my sexy, sexy Macbook. Bought in the USA during an abortive attempt to get an American girl to sleep with me one Thanksgiving Holiday, SexyMacBook joined me travelling back to the UK with my enormously swollen balls. SexyMacbook quickly came to replace DinosaurPC as the go-to computing device of choice: SexyMacbook came with me frequently on a Saturday afternoon to Deal's ONLY Hipster Cafe, "The Balcony" where I could mooch free WiFi and pretend to be a writer in front of a beautiful open fire while the gay manager of the cafe made puppy eyes at me. Then, when I decided to become a full-time masochist and move to China, SexyMacbook joined me as well. In the first few tortuous weeks without a DVD player but a DVD shop RIGHT ON MY DOORSTEP selling pirated DVDs for about ONE BLOODY POUND EACH, SexyMacbook was there to act as an interim DVD player. Soon I discovered digital downloading, and although I didn't use SexyMacBook to do the overnight downloads, I'd always transfer the files from and InferiorPC to SexyMacBook to watch. I saw the Season Two Finale of the Sarah Connor Chronicles with SexyMacbook, it was a moment when we both cried a little, realising that such an important and amazing part of our lives was now over. Slowly, I noticed that SexyMacBook was getting a little long in the tooth, but I could never have replaced her. She helped me rip the two Iron Man movies, all the Transformers films and my favourite .Hack// anime to my first iPod Nano, then my iTouch and finally my iPad 2. Yes, truly we had good times. But we weren't done yet: for SexyMacbook also helped me pass the first two years of my MA studies with Merit. Hours were spent laborious copying hand-written notes onto her in my pirated copy of Office for Mac, every successful essay, presentation and mark sheet was downloaded onto her harddrive to be analyzed and over-analyzed. She helped me do so much. And now, at the grand old age of 6, her single-button trackpad gave out. Hurriedly, I rushed to the local Reseller "Please," I begged them, "Pleaase... fix her.... make her whole again."But there was no hope: her model had been retired, the parts were no longer available. With a heavy heart, I laid her to rest. She was the greatest, the most beautiful, the most helpful and fun, the most loving, she asked so little and gave so much... she was... My SexyMacBook. SexyMacBook. "AGE QUOD AGIS" NOVEMBER 2006 - 2012 You Shall Not Be Replaced - Because I Damn Well Can't Afford A MacBook Pro At These Prices. Edited November 26, 2012 by Iun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewie Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 My condolences for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 (The last line killed me. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Just install a different trackpad. That will work, right? Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iun Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Just install a different trackpad. That will work, right? Right? BLASPHEMY! How DARE you piss on the good name of SexyMacBook by suggesting ADDITIONAL PERIPHERALS! I already tried and literally nothing works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ville Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Just buy a usb mouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GESTURES?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GESTURES?!? Magic mouse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbob Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I can just imagine a funeral service for it.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 There's an external trackpad you can buy as well. Also, I'm sure there are SOME people willing to take it in, sort of like 3rd party modders or whoever has old parts in stock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Just let it die in peace. It wouldn't want to live. Not like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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