Posted September 25, 2012 If they'd simply phrased the question "What ethnicity do you find most attractive?" I think very few people would consider it racist. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 "What ethnicity do you find most attractive?" and "Would you much prefer to have children that weren't quadroons?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 If they'd simply phrased the question "What ethnicity do you find most attractive?" I think very few people would consider it racist. I have to be honest, I don't find it racist. Not in the slightest. I just find it weird. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Racist is perhaps quite a strong word, I simply meant that fewer people would stop and think about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 To all of you who were surprised by it, or found it weird, how would you find it if somebody said they weren't attracted to gingers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Honestly? I'd find it a bit strange because I've never personally found any detail like hair colour being anything close to a dealbreaker. But that's not the point I'm getting at; do you really not see why people would stop for a second at the phrasing "someone of the same skin colour"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 But that's not the point I'm getting at; do you really not see why people would stop for a second at the phrasing "someone of the same skin colour"? Kind of, but like you say, if it was "What ethnicity do you find most attractive?" then fewer people would consider it strange, but really, it's the same meaning*, so it's just semantics. *it's not quite the same meaning as it doesn't leave the option for black people preferring white people and vice versa, though I imagine that's not the norm when racial preferences are concerned. I imagine that phrasing it the way they have done is a convenience thing. Phrasing it the way you did poses a lot of difficulties with listing all ethnicities and various people feeling under represented. What do you class as a race/ethnicity? How many do you include? You could end up with people being miffed at being classed as "other", or a list as long as your arm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Nope. Don't see anything wrong with it at all. Hair Colour, Skin Colour, of course they matter (or don't), it's all part of who you're attracted too, or in the case of skin colour important if your childrens skin colour is an important factor for you. And they've got to cater for different religions and the like. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 I see your point, but I'd still argue the semantic difference is too big. Consider the same question with hair colour: "Would would prefer to date someone with the same hair colour?" I'd find that equally strange. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 That's because it makes no sense to phrase it that way. Do you prefer Blones/Brunettes/RedHeads is a question I'd expect to see. There's nothing wrong in asking if you prefer a skin colour. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 That's exactly my point, Retro! :p There's a difference between asking what hair or skin colour you prefer and if you'd prefer to date one of the same as your own. That's where it makes me think, because you'd never see it with hair colour, so why skin colour? Does that not say anything about the way we think about these things? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 That's exactly my point, Retro! :p There's a difference between asking what hair or skin colour you prefer and if you'd prefer to date one of the same as your own. That's where it makes me think, because you'd never see it with hair colour, so why skin colour? Does that not say anything about the way we think about these things? That's why I find it weird. I don't mind preferences but I just find it weird when one of the questions are: Would you prefer to have children who are the same skin colour? I don't mind so much if it was something like "Would you prefer British people, American people or Asian people?" and even then, I'd find it weird. Also, to answer your question, I would totally date Karen Gillan or Alysson Hannigan so I would find it weird if no other straight bloke would! :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Haha! :p I, too, have a preference for red hair. Accompanying freckles are also a plus, and I like glasses on a girl, too. But again, none of it would be a dealbreaker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 I think glasses on a girl are cute. I don't really care, if I'm honest. The thing that's most important to me is that they're kind, loyal and they have a great sense of humour and they don't try to change you. Like, as you know, I'm not the manliest of men and I'd want my ideal girlfriend to be okay with that because it's something I can't change. One thing I hate is mind games and bitchtasticness though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Been messaging a girl for a few days and she wants to meet already this weekend. I'm a bit surprised by that! I would never suggest a meeting so soon. Not sure what to make of it, i feel as if I should play it cool and say im busy, but then again it would be fun to just meet and see how it goes rather than waste loads of time messaging back and forth for ages. She doesn't even seem like a player, nor would i think she was the desperate kind as shes really hot and cool. She has her own business so maybe she's just busy and a go-getter? I duno, but hey, can't hurt to check it out right?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Better to find out if she's a dud now than weeks from now, I'd say. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Have you seen her through webcam? Just make sure that she isn't a bloke who dresses as a girl and calls herself Barry. Just kidding but yeah, I'd totally talk to her through webcam or something first, just to be sure. Well, I've got an update from Hunger Games girl, she deleted her account! Damn, I must be awful to talk to! :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Well, I've got an update from Hunger Games girl, she deleted her account! Damn, I must be awful to talk to! :p Pfft, her loss did she give you any contact details before she left? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Well, I've got an update from Hunger Games girl, she deleted her account! Damn, I must be awful to talk to! :p "Wait a minute... that's not a tan!" *DELETE DELETE DELETE* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Pfft, her loss did she give you any contact details before she left? Nah, she just upped and left. I'm like "Cheers, that makes me feel awesome about myself!" lmao. Ah well! My search continues! "Wait a minute... that's not a tan!" *DELETE DELETE DELETE* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! I actually laughed a lot at this! I'm just imagining it now. "Ah, he likes The Hunger Games? I love that!...Oh, he likes the movie as well, this is awesome!...he's read Twilight, I love Twilight, I wonder what his favourite book is....Oh, it doesn't matter, he's brown! SHIT!" *deletes profile* "Phew, that was a close one!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Nah, she just upped and left. I'm like "Cheers, that makes me feel awesome about myself!" lmao. Ah well! My search continues! Aww, don't feel too bad. It probably had nothing to do with you. Maybe she died and her parents deleted her profile! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Messaged a woman who sounded nice and she messaged back that I was too young! There's a four-year gap (her being older than me) but I didn't think it was a big deal though. I just thought "Ah, she seems nice, I'll message her" and she said that I was young. I messaged back thanking her for at least getting back to me. Aww, don't feel too bad. It probably had nothing to do with you. Maybe she died and her parents deleted her profile! Sure, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 26, 2012 Been messaging a girl for a few days and she wants to meet already this weekend. I'm a bit surprised by that! I would never suggest a meeting so soon. Not sure what to make of it, i feel as if I should play it cool and say im busy, but then again it would be fun to just meet and see how it goes rather than waste loads of time messaging back and forth for ages. She doesn't even seem like a player, nor would i think she was the desperate kind as shes really hot and cool. She has her own business so maybe she's just busy and a go-getter? I duno, but hey, can't hurt to check it out right?! What does it matter if you meet up? It's not like meeting means you're automatically engaged. You've spoken online already so you're already behind people who've met at a party or through friends or on a night out or any other of the traditional methods. I just find it strange that people initially thought online dating was weird, yet now meeting up is apparently weird. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 27, 2012 What does it matter if you meet up? It's not like meeting means you're automatically engaged. You've spoken online already so you're already behind people who've met at a party or through friends or on a night out or any other of the traditional methods. I just find it strange that people initially thought online dating was weird, yet now meeting up is apparently weird. Yeh you're absolutely right, I've thought that myself before. I guess the difference is if you meet in a club or whatever it's not necessarily a date, you're still with friends, and if you're set to go on a blind date, you still have a mutual friend in the equation. Online it's a pure stranger. I don't mind it myself, and I would ask to meet girls earlier but being a guy i think it makes me sound creepy/after one thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 27, 2012 (edited) I was just looking at pof, and I saw a white girl's profile that said "only black people". So I guess some people do have a preference. Edited September 27, 2012 by MoogleViper Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
