Posted September 24, 2012 You last said you wouldn't change it, so how can I know you've changed it without saying you have! Sounds like playboy Charlie's advice is useless :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 It's still the same profile picture on OKCupid, too. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Oh my God, I actually got a reply from The Hunger Games girl! Go me! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Oh my God, I actually got a reply from The Hunger Games girl! Go me! Ask her if she likes Fifty Shades of Grey! THE ULTIMATE TEST. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 She's read it and she doesn't get the hype about it! SHE'S PERFECT! I'LL TAKE HER! lmao. Ooooh, I don't think it'll work. Shame, really. She likes and dislikes the same things as I do but there's this questionnaire side of the profile that I've never seen before and one of the questions were "Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of the same skin colour?"...obviously I have put that it wouldn't bother me but she has put 'Yes'... Another question that was asked was something like "Would you much prefer to have children with someone who is the same skin colour as you?". I put that it doesn't matter but she's answered yes for that one too!...Hmmm.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Well, your course of action is obvious: Change her mind. :awesome: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 So I think I'm going to go ahead and message this guy about where things are going. Just wanted to post a rough idea of the message on here first before I send it to see what people think. Basically it would be something like "We've been talking for a month now and i've enjoyed our conversations so far but i've just been thinking about where this is heading, if anywhere. If you just want to take things slow and carry on getting to know each other that's fine with me but I just wanted to know your opinion so I had a better idea." That's just some ideas, would that be a weird message to send? Guys on here, if you'd been talking to a girl for a month and she sent you that, what would you think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Too formal and over-thinking. A simpler and more heartfelt approach would be better - ask him what he thinks of you. He'll likely tell you what you want to hear if he's interested, and go from there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Depends how you want to sound kaytee, nonchalant or not. That message is fine for sounding like you are thinking about taking it further, like 'what's taking you so long to ask me out punk!' In a nice way. Which can work, and would get a definite answer either way. However you could play it safe and just drop in a few hints in conversation about getting together. Up to you really, say whatever you feels right! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Well, your course of action is obvious: Change her mind. :awesome: True. I could. Is it one of those things that you could actually change your mind on though, or is it something that could be an issue? I mean, sure you can say "Yeah, I don't mind" but could there be that miniscule thought that slips into focus sometimes? I wouldn't really know about it since I've never actually thought like this... Also Kaytee, I'd just straight-up tell him how you feel if you've spoken to him for a while and you like what you see. Only do this if you're absolutely certain you like him though. Lay all the cards on the table but if you can still have him as a friend, tell him that. Say something along the lines of you really liking him and if he likes you back, that's awesome, if not, hey, you can still be mates. That's what I'd do personally. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 That sounds pretty good. I've gone with that idea and sent the message so fingers crossed! I'll post again if/when he replies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 He will. He'd be mad not to! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 Looks like he does feel the same although I mentioned in the message that if it was too soon to ask this then he should let me know and I won't mention it again and he said yeah, ask again in a little while. But overall, positive answer. That's a weight off my shoulders Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 True. I could. Is it one of those things that you could actually change your mind on though, or is it something that could be an issue? I mean, sure you can say "Yeah, I don't mind" but could there be that miniscule thought that slips into focus sometimes? I wouldn't really know about it since I've never actually thought like this... Yeah, it is a bit of a weird thing, and if she does genuinely feel that way, she probably won't just completely change her mind on a whim. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 24, 2012 True. I could. Is it one of those things that you could actually change your mind on though, or is it something that could be an issue? I mean, sure you can say "Yeah, I don't mind" but could there be that miniscule thought that slips into focus sometimes? I wouldn't really know about it since I've never actually thought like this... Less reading and analysis of vague descriptions, more getting to actually know her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 She's read it and she doesn't get the hype about it! SHE'S PERFECT! I'LL TAKE HER! lmao. Ooooh, I don't think it'll work. Shame, really. She likes and dislikes the same things as I do but there's this questionnaire side of the profile that I've never seen before and one of the questions were "Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of the same skin colour?"...obviously I have put that it wouldn't bother me but she has put 'Yes'... Another question that was asked was something like "Would you much prefer to have children with someone who is the same skin colour as you?". I put that it doesn't matter but she's answered yes for that one too!...Hmmm.... How is that even a question that they are allowed to ask? Basically, "Are you a racist?" "Why yes, yes of course i'm a racist." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Not racist at all. Sexual preference to a particular race is no more racist than having preference to the opposite sex being homophobic Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Yes but it's the phrasing of the question. Having a checkbox to say what you prefer is different to saying would you only consider people of your own skin colour Maybe i overreacted a bit... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Being more attracted to people of a certain skin colour is no different to being more attracted to people of a certain hair colour. Personally I find both weird, if a woman is attractive, then they're attractive, never understood the whole "specific type" thing. But people say "I only like blondes" and nobody bats an eyelid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 You last said you wouldn't change it, so how can I know you've changed it without saying you have! Sounds like playboy Charlie's advice is useless :p You should see his profile text now compared to what it was. :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 I think that's the point, you don't really know if you are going to be attracted to someone until you see them. Shunning the majority of the population because of their skin/hair colour before you've even seen them seems a bit stupid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Most people probably answer the question based on the people they've found attractive previously. If you've so far only found people of the same skin colour attractive then the likelihood is that it'll continue that way. Although the way some people can view it as racist is why I just skip questions like that. That's like asking the sun to be wet... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 It also may be the case that she's never known any/many non-white people. @Animal you live in Birmingham where it's diverse, but there are places such as where I grew up where over 99% of people are white. In my school of 1300, only 5 were non-white (and four of those were related). I'd never met/spoken to a black person until I was about 13/14. So it may just be that she's never really known any people of different skin colour. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Anyway. As bob says the phrasing isn't great, but I assume the intention isn't racism. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 25, 2012 Looks like he does feel the same although I mentioned in the message that if it was too soon to ask this then he should let me know and I won't mention it again and he said yeah, ask again in a little while. But overall, positive answer. That's a weight off my shoulders That's amazing, I'm so happy for you! Yeah, it is a bit of a weird thing, and if she does genuinely feel that way, she probably won't just completely change her mind on a whim. Quite true. I think this as well but I think there must be some kind of reason why she has this kind of mindset. Less reading and analysis of vague descriptions, more getting to actually know her. I know, I know. But you must admit that it's a bit weird though. I mean, I don't find it racist, just weird if anything. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest because if I loved the girl's personality, that'd suit me fine. Obviously, looks would come into it just a little bit but I wouldn't say "I ONLY DATE WHITES!" or something. It also may be the case that she's never known any/many non-white people. @Animal you live in Birmingham where it's diverse, but there are places such as where I grew up where over 99% of people are white. In my school of 1300, only 5 were non-white (and four of those were related). I'd never met/spoken to a black person until I was about 13/14. So it may just be that she's never really known any people of different skin colour. She lives in Birmingham too though. Also, the area where I live is mostly full of white people. Also, my family are white too. Most of my mates are white. In my group of friends, I was the token brown dude, lmao. My nickname in school was Carlton, haha. I don't really think of skin colour though. Also, I know this sounds kind of weird but I don't even think of myself as black...I don't even think of myself as white either, even though most would say I 'behave' and 'talk' like a white guy. I just think of myself as me. Skin colour never comes into the equation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
