Posted October 5, 2012 It's not great advice though. Saying "just do it" is the equivalent of telling a claustrophobic to "just get in there". Yeah just doing it would be great, but it completely misses the fact that we can't "just do it", that's the whole problem. "You have a problem? Just cure it." It's not practical advice, you can't go up to somebody and say "just do it", you need to tell them how to do it. Such as Charlie's advice of talking to a shop assistant first, and working your way up. It's not though because they can do it. I didn't have so much confidence but the mindset that I'm in right now is "Fuck it, I don't know them and I don't care." If it's a date and you want to talk to them but you're shy, just remember to think that she/he would be lucky to be dating a person like you. I know it sounds big-headed and stuff but it's true and it works too. Of course, you need to figure out what to say without overthinking it but a lot of the time, it'll just come to you in conversation, which is why I struggle a bit when sending messages on these dating sites. I'd know what to say in a conversation, I can read their facial expressions, hear a tone in their voice, etc, but over a computer, I can't. Text can be said in different tones so it's not exactly very easy to figure out sometimes. But yeah, it's easy advice. It's not really something you have to be told to do. It'll just happen. You need to get in a kind of mindset of "I'm better" without actually being a douchebag about it. Because in the end, you are worth more than you think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) If you're not feeling confident, ask yourself one simple question: If you're not going to do it, who's going to do it for you? Edited October 10, 2012 by gaggle64 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 So today I finally mustered up the courage to tell my friend how I felt. I simply told it straightforwardly, and she said she appreciated that since she's apparently as hopeless with all that jazz as me. She said she'd had the same thoughts, but that'd she'd like some time to think about it, which was of course completely fine. I also stressed that I was fine with staying friends if she wasn't interested and that I didn't want anything to be awkward, and she was completely on board with that. It felt good to just be open and honest about it and skipping all the awkwardness and tension, and I got the distinct feeling she felt the same way, which was really nice. Really, right now I'm just so happy that I finally told her. It's a personal victory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 I feel this is appropriate. All together, now: "D'aaawww ..." I'll just leave it here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Maybe we should wait until after she gets back to him. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Well at least he can say he had the balls to do something about it. Can we all say the same? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 I don't think "d'aww" is the appropriate reaction to that! Maybe a fist bump. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Score one for courage! Nice one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Wahey! Nice one Dannyboy! *fistbumps* *high-fives* My fingers are crossed for you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 So today I finally mustered up the courage to tell my friend how I felt. I simply told it straightforwardly, and she said she appreciated that since she's apparently as hopeless with all that jazz as me. She said she'd had the same thoughts, but that'd she'd like some time to think about it, which was of course completely fine. I also stressed that I was fine with staying friends if she wasn't interested and that I didn't want anything to be awkward, and she was completely on board with that. It felt good to just be open and honest about it and skipping all the awkwardness and tension, and I got the distinct feeling she felt the same way, which was really nice. Really, right now I'm just so happy that I finally told her. It's a personal victory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 So today I finally mustered up the courage to tell my friend how I felt. I simply told it straightforwardly, and she said she appreciated that since she's apparently as hopeless with all that jazz as me. I feel this particular bit is worth underlining for anyone else lacking confidence. Nice one Danny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Thanks again, guys. I appreciate it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Nice work Danny. Either way with these things I think it's much better to get it out there in the open. There are a few girls I wish I'd told I'd liked when I was younger, but never had the nerve to. Years later it turns out they felt the same way at the time but were just as crappy at saying it. The 'just do it' advice, while seeming a little obvious but too hard, is actually the best thing I ever started doing. It will never be as bad as you imagine it could be, and more often than not it works out much better in the end. Anyway, my Japan trip has been going amazingly, I've been out with girls pretty much every day of my holiday, and a few while I was on the work portion of my trip. The girls here are unbelievably attractive, super cute, very very nice people. I'm definitely going to be pushing for a transfer over here, best city I've ever been in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Exactly. That's pretty much what I figured as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Nice work Danny. Either way with these things I think it's much better to get it out there in the open. There are a few girls I wish I'd told I'd liked when I was younger' date=' but never had the nerve to. Years later it turns out they felt the same way at the time but were just as crappy at saying it. The 'just do it' advice, while seeming a little obvious but too hard, is actually the best thing I ever started doing. It will never be as bad as you imagine it could be, and more often than not it works out much better in the end. Anyway, my Japan trip has been going amazingly, I've been out with girls pretty much every day of my holiday, and a few while I was on the work portion of my trip. The girls here are unbelievably attractive, super cute, very very nice people. I'm definitely going to be pushing for a transfer over here, best city I've ever been in.[/quote'] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Anyway' date=' my Japan trip has been going amazingly, I've been out with girls pretty much every day of my holiday, and a few while I was on the work portion of my trip. The girls here are unbelievably attractive, super cute, very very nice people. I'm definitely going to be pushing for a transfer over here, best city I've ever been in.[/quote'] I'm starting to think you're not moving countries constantly to further your career, but rather you've run out of women Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2012 Sooooo, yesterday I met up with the lady. It was a bit awkward at first. She told me beforehand that this would not be the start of a new relationship, and I accepted that. We talked about the day, the last few weeks...typical small talk. Nothing special. Then we watched a movie, during which I often have been lost in thoughts. At the end of the movie she noticed and asked me to tell her what was on my mind. I did. I told her that I wanted to kiss her, hold her. Then she started thinking, we looked at each other, but didn't talk. A few minutes later she kissed me. We decided that this still isn't the start of a relationship, but it is a start of something new. Well, my personal life seems to take a turn into the right direction again. Now I have to take this chance and show this woman that she is the most important person of my life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2012 I hope it all turns out for the best for the two of you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 25, 2012 First date with the girl I went home with at the weekend last night. Picked her up and then went to play mini-golf, food and a movie. Think it went really well, good chat. Mini-golf is a great first date, plenty of chance for talking, showing manliness (i.e. winning) and a bit of physical contact. Dropped her off at the end of the night too like a perfect gentleman. :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 25, 2012 How did you have physical contact whilst playing mini golf? Did you "accidentally" smash her in the face with the putter? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 25, 2012 showing manliness (i.e. winning) Oh Charlie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 25, 2012 How did you have physical contact whilst playing mini golf? Did you "accidentally" smash her in the face with the putter? Just grab her breasts. It shows manliness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 25, 2012 The best way to show manliness is to whip your penis out, or failing that, a DNA test. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
