Posted September 27, 2012 I was just looking at pof, and I saw a white girl's profile that said "only black peopl". So I guess some people do have a preference. It's twue, it's twue... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 3, 2012 You guys, I've...I've actually had a girl message me! She seems cool but I've no bloody clue what to say! She said 'hi' and asked how I was and I told her and asked her back but I've no idea what to say. I've never actually had a message where someone's just said "Hi" and that's it. Do I ask her questions that she's put on her profile or does that seem kind of weird? I don't know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 3, 2012 If she's not bothered to write more than a 2 line introduction, then why bother? It makes me laugh when girls complain that guys only send a copy and pasted "hi baby" style introduction, but when a girl does it, the guy gets all excited. (no offence Dazz :p) Personally, I wouldn't reply. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 3, 2012 You guys, I've...I've actually had a girl message me! She seems cool but I've no bloody clue what to say! She said 'hi' and asked how I was and I told her and asked her back but I've no idea what to say. I've never actually had a message where someone's just said "Hi" and that's it. Do I ask her questions that she's put on her profile or does that seem kind of weird? I don't know. Best piece of advice I've heard recently (regarding real life more than online, but still relevant) is to treat anyone you talk to as your best friend. It will make everyone more comfortable in the situation. You'll both be far more relaxed. (And yes, ask her stuff about her profile) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 3, 2012 To be fair, I do only because I know how bloody hard it is to actually come up with a message that sounds good. I've done it a few times and a couple of times, I've had success but sometimes, it's not worked so I've just said "Hey, how are you?" and I've had replies. Also, I don't like the fact you 'have to' put your favourite movies and stuff because those are questions I've ruled out now because she'll just say "Look at my profile". Killed! I just have absolutely no clue of what to say on these things sometimes! As I've said a couple of times before, I'm much better face-to-face! :p Best piece of advice I've heard recently (regarding real life more than online, but still relevant) is to treat anyone you talk to as your best friend. It will make everyone more comfortable in the situation. You'll both be far more relaxed. (And yes, ask her stuff about her profile) Yeah, that sounds like a cool idea. I've heard that myself before but never really used it. So far, it's going pretty cool, we're messaging each other now, who knows where it will lead! (Maybe nowhere but still, at least I gave it a shot if it goes wrong, haha). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Awesome! Nice one. I've been messaging a few girls who only reply once a week. It's really annoying! Like why the hell did you sign up and only log in at the weekend or whenever. I thought they weren't interested or i'd said something to put them off, but each week they come back, reply once and bugger off again! Anyway, i met that other girl on sunday. She wasn't a man afterall! haha. We had a pretty good time. Not sure about it all though yet. May see her again this weekend and see how it develops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Awesome! Nice one. I've been messaging a few girls who only reply once a week. It's really annoying! Like why the hell did you sign up and only log in at the weekend or whenever. I thought they weren't interested or i'd said something to put them off, but each week they come back, reply once and bugger off again! Anyway, i met that other girl on sunday. She wasn't a man afterall! haha. We had a pretty good time. Not sure about it all though yet. May see her again this weekend and see how it develops. Remember that all girls on OKC are inundated with messages. Play it cool! Last thing they want is a clingy guy all over their space. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 At the moment I'm trying to figure out how to best approach a friend about how I like her and whether she would be interested in seeing if we could turn into more than friends. Do I ask her on a date, or would that be redundant seeing as we already know each other? Do I just spit it out, or would that be too direct? Argh! I'm thinking too hard about this! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Just whack your cock out in front of her and see how she reacts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 First bit o' advice; don't be so hooked on it being a 'date'. The idea of a date is basically it's just you two doing something alone; no others to distract you from getting to know each other -- getting to see if you like each other. Stemming from that; if there's something you think'd be fun for the both of you, then ask her if she wants to do that with you. Make sure you have a specific time and date, and make sure it's not something that she might not like at all whatsoever. Similarly, if she declines then don't assume it's over - if she says she is busy then she is either actually busy or politely saying no. Rule of thumb here is to ask twice and if she declines twice then the ball's in her court. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) I think you're underestimating how well we actually know each other. We're already good friends and have done stuff together just the two of us, so if the relationship is to move any further, it doesn't do to keep beating around the bush. The point is that I somehow need to make my interest known, otherwise I believe we're just staying friends. Edited October 4, 2012 by Dannyboy-the-Dane Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 I've asked a friend out before. She said she wasn't interested in a relationship and we're still friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) I think you're underestimating how well we actually know each other. We're already good friends and have done stuff together just the two of us, so if the relationship is to move any further, it doesn't do to keep beating around the bush. The point is that I somehow need to make my interest known, otherwise I believe we're just staying friends. Well you could just come out and tell her. Or you could write her a letter saying it. This makes it easy for you to word things how you want, and means there's no chance of getting nervous and fumbling your words. Also it gives her a chance to read it in peace and think things over, rather than feeling awkward and pressured. Or you could go the hollywood route and do a spontaneous kiss. Always works in rom-coms. Of course, popcorn trick. I've asked a friend out before. She said she wasn't interested in a relationship and we're still friends. Same here. We remained friends afterwards. We're not really friends any more but that's due to just going away to uni and drifting apart (when I say "not friends" I mean in a "I never see her" way not in an "I actively dislike her" way). Edited October 4, 2012 by MoogleViper Automerged Doublepost Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Or you could go the hollywood route and do an spontaneous kiss. Always works in rom-coms. I don't recommend doing this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 I don't recommend doing this. Did you get a slap? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Oh, I'm not worried we won't stay friends if she's not interested. I'm cool with that. Do people actually write love letters anymore? It seems a bit cliché and perhaps ... too much? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Oh, I'm not worried we won't stay friends if she's not interested. I'm cool with that. Do people actually write love letters anymore? It seems a bit cliché and perhaps ... too much? Well it doesn't have to be a letter per se, it could just be an email or fb message. Just different from saying it face to face. Although a fb message is a little bit convenient, so if you did right a letter, would she take it to be cheesy and too much, or would she be impressed that you went to the effort, and realise how sincere you were? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Best piece of advice I've heard recently (regarding real life more than online, but still relevant) is to treat anyone you talk to as your best friend.I've never understood this though. Your best friend is your best friend for a reason, it's someone that you've known for ages, you know everything about one another, have alot of things in common and enjoy the same types of things, share a sense of humour etc... This isn't true of someone you've just met. So basically the advice is 'be relaxed, be chatty, be yourself' all of which don't necessarily come natural or flow when you meet someone for the first time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 I've never understood this though. Your best friend is your best friend for a reason, it's someone that you've known for ages, you know everything about one another, have alot of things in common and enjoy the same types of things, share a sense of humour etc... This isn't true of someone you've just met. So basically the advice is 'be relaxed, be chatty, be yourself' all of which don't necessarily come natural or flow when you meet someone for the first time. It also completely misses the reason why we struggle with talking to new people. "You mean I'm supposed to be relaxed? Why did nobody tell me? And I've been trying my hardest to be nervous, sweaty and saying stupid things all this time." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Did you get a slap? It wasn't that bad, but we didn't talk for a while. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 At the moment I'm trying to figure out how to best approach a friend about how I like her and whether she would be interested in seeing if we could turn into more than friends. Do I ask her on a date, or would that be redundant seeing as we already know each other? Do I just spit it out, or would that be too direct? Argh! I'm thinking too hard about this! One word... drink! It's the best fail safe in that situation. If you're both getting drunk, increase the flirting as the night goes on, drop in a few compliments as well, the old 'i never noticed how ... you are' line for example and then try your luck with a kiss near the end of the night. At the end of the day, if it goes badly, you can say you were drunk, then again if it goes well, you've broken that ice and can discuss it the next day. If you dont drink, then i think you just have to come out with it. It's a matter of timing though. You'd have to do it at a time when you're both relaxed and having a laugh. It cant be too intense either - if you sit her down and be all like "ive liked you for ages now, how do you fee?" she's gonna freak. Something half-joking would be better to test the water, while you're both laughing just say like 'we'd be a good couple you know!" and watch her reaction like a hawk. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Well it doesn't have to be a letter per se, it could just be an email or fb message. Just different from saying it face to face. Although a fb message is a little bit convenient, so if you did right a letter, would she take it to be cheesy and too much, or would she be impressed that you went to the effort, and realise how sincere you were? Yeah, I guess. Believe me, doing it in writing would be so much easier, but it also feels a bit cowardly. I might end up doing that, though, since ... well, I am a coward. One word... drink! It's the best fail safe in that situation. If you're both getting drunk, increase the flirting as the night goes on, drop in a few compliments as well, the old 'i never noticed how ... you are' line for example and then try your luck with a kiss near the end of the night. At the end of the day, if it goes badly, you can say you were drunk, then again if it goes well, you've broken that ice and can discuss it the next day. If you dont drink, then i think you just have to come out with it. It's a matter of timing though. You'd have to do it at a time when you're both relaxed and having a laugh. It cant be too intense either - if you sit her down and be all like "ive liked you for ages now, how do you fee?" she's gonna freak. Something half-joking would be better to test the water, while you're both laughing just say like 'we'd be a good couple you know!" and watch her reaction like a hawk. I'm just tired of such games and charades. I'm no good at them. That's why I've decided I'm just going to be upfront. It's just a matter of figuring out how best to do that. Anyway, thanks for the advice, guys. It's given me a little more confidence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Random question for the guys (maybe girls too): if you like a girl and you told her you liked her, would you start ignoring her? Like, not texting or talking to her online? Or would you be happy contacting her everyday? Basically, is this normal behaviour or is this a not so subtle way of telling me he's lost interest? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2012 Well, no, I don't think so. If I'm interested in her, I'll want to keep in contact. If she's not interested in more than friendship, then we'll be friends. If she's not interested in anything, then we'll probably slip away from each other, but I probably won't purposefully ignore her. I don't think I ever would purposefully ignore someone for any reason, really. Then again I'm hardly any sort of model to judge male behaviour by. Could it be that he's afraid of the answer and keeping a distance for that reason? Perhaps he's afraid to seem too eager or in doubt about how the relationship is currently standing? Maybe he's simply not sure how to act at this point and thus prefers to avoid the risk of messing anything up? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 5, 2012 Random question for the guys (maybe girls too): if you like a girl and you told her you liked her, would you start ignoring her? Like, not texting or talking to her online? Or would you be happy contacting her everyday? Basically, is this normal behaviour or is this a not so subtle way of telling me he's lost interest? No, I'd be talking to her a lot. Sorry to hear that, sounds like he might not be interested. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
