Posted July 6, 2011 As for your profile: What sort of things interest you? I always feel like I'll seem 'kin' borin'. I read "what sort of things interest you?" and then saw "kin borin", which of course in my head is some kind of weird thing whereby you drill holes into your family members. I should stop half reading posts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2011 (edited) (Don't do any of this "I'm a kind, honest, intelligent person" bullshit, btw. Because it's almost always a lie.) Despite being true ... I never do. Not that anyone on here probably thinks I'm kind; just a c***. Edited July 6, 2011 by Kurtle Squad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2011 'Relationships, Dating and All That Jazz' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 How many hours have you spent trawling through shite? Any tips on the kind of shit one puts on their profile? http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/a-guide-to-writing-the-most-generic-okcupid-profile-ever/ http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/dating-website-tactics-that-need-to-be-retired/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 Hmm, giving this a go now... First, I noticed that I actually prefer shorter profiles. I mean being too elaborate on everything kind of kills the mystery, and it can easily create false impressions since you're only reading about the person, not meeting them in person! Second, positivity. People who whine and moan about what they don't want totally turn me off...like why would you do that? It only gives an impression that you're a whiny person, and who wants that? Instead, write about what you like in life, what kind of good qualities you have and what you're looking for in your partner Writing about the good stuff creates positive images in the readers as well, i.e. it gives them something to be attracted to! For example, what are the fun things you'd like to do with your partner? This goes hand to hand with point 3, i.e. directness. Don't beat around the bush, just say what you like and want Much faster connection with those who think similarly, because they can clearly see what you aim for without having to decipher some crypticly vague description first. Fourth, should you find someone interesting...make the initiative! Don't wait until someone contacts you, because you can't ever be sure when that might possible happen, or WHO might contact you. By making the initiative yourself, you keep your personal power to yourself and can approach just the people you want to find more about (Don't do any of this "I'm a kind, honest, intelligent person" bullshit, btw. Because it's almost always a lie.) You sure? I'm certainly kind, honest, intelligent, wise, creative, inspiring, athletic, funny, spiritual, down-to-earth, passionate, witty, loving etc etc...and that's all true! Every person has good qualities, but it's just a matter if you're able to perceive them yourself...so why so pessimistic, chair? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 Relax, he's just at that age. But yes, all good advice above. Apparently, I was 'different in every picture guy' and much hotter in person. I had no idea- shows you need to take care with your profile though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 Fourth, should you find someone interesting...make the initiative! Don't wait until someone contacts you, because you can't ever be sure when that might possible happen, or WHO might contact you. By making the initiative yourself, you keep your personal power to yourself and can approach just the people you want to find more about Someone who finds you interesting; not someone who'll ignore you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 Someone who finds you interesting; not someone who'll ignore you They will if they're shy/have low self-esteem/forgot to initiate contact. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 7, 2011 (edited) http://www.okcupid.com I'm seeing a lot of reasons and excuses here, so why not take steps and do something about it? Not meeting people? There's a link right there for a free dating website. It's how I met my girlfriend and I was in a similar situation to what you just described Serebii. What a load of rubbish! Okay; maybe I was talking rubbish? OKCupid seems a bit better; I'm going to give it a go. Still don't really know what I'm doing. (P.S. I hate not being able to drive). Edited July 8, 2011 by Kurtle Squad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 8, 2011 I met my girlfriend through http://www.tastebuds.fm. It's a dating site that basically matches people up by their taste in music. Quite good, really. And look how happy (and a bit drunk) we are now! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 10, 2011 (edited) Relax, he's just at that age. But yes, all good advice above. Apparently, I was 'different in every picture guy' and much hotter in person. I had no idea- shows you need to take care with your profile though. Heh, as in "different than all the other guys"? That's the kind of feedback I've been getting too... xD But yeah, profiles pics are important too, after all it's another one-dimensional impression you're giving...one reason I also have a link to my videos as well. Still, considering the minimalist approach I talked about above, don't know if it's such a good idea or not... Someone who finds you interesting; not someone who'll ignore you Well, people ignoring your messages is really not that big of a deal anyway, because it means that they're either being bombarded by messages and thus too busy to respond to each and every one, already taken / not using the service, or just immature. None of those are worth delving into anyway, so just move on to the next interesting person! The problem with waiting for others to make the initiative is...that even if someone finds you interesting, will YOU find THEM interesting? They will if they're shy/have low self-esteem/forgot to initiate contact. Exactly...and if they're women! Sorry to generalise, but the trend seems that men are more active in this regard (or that there are just more men using these services!). Just talking to this one girl about this, and she told me that yes she might possibly consider contacting men herself at some point, but since men are already sending messages to her, she has no need. In general, there really haven't been many women who have initiated the contact, it has usually been me...and that's what I'm prepared for, to make the initiative. No point in waiting and trying to guess if someone might be interested...because it's much faster to just get in contact and ask! And like I said earlier, you get to pick who you talk to! Edited July 10, 2011 by Ville Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 11, 2011 Well, people ignoring your messages is really not that big of a deal anyway, because it means that they're either being bombarded by messages and thus too busy to respond to each and every one, already taken / not using the service, or just immature. None of those are worth delving into anyway, so just move on to the next interesting person! The problem with waiting for others to make the initiative is...that even if someone finds you interesting, will YOU find THEM interesting? I'm getting to the point where I'll find anyone interesting who shows interest in me. Certainly until someone actually interesting comes along. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 I think I'm going to give up really soon: Being ignored and/or let down isn't fun. As should be said: There's plenty more shit in the sea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 I think I'm going to give up really soon: Being ignored and/or let down isn't fun.Is this through the internet dating site you started with? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 Is this through the internet dating site you started with? Partly. I'm in a slightly better mood now. I needed to let off steam. I'm still not happy about how this part of my life is going, let alone life in general. I've managed to chat to one girl a bit who seems quite nice. So expect a depressed/pissed off post from me when that goes tits up; probably within the next couple of weeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 It might sound... obvious, but have you tried getting a new look? Like a new flash haircut / new glasses (IIRC you wear glasses? [or maybe try contacts? {but then, maybe not, because some people look better with glasses}]) / new clothes etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 It might sound... obvious, but have you tried getting a new look? Like a new flash haircut / new glasses (IIRC you wear glasses? [or maybe try contacts? {but then, maybe not, because some people look better with glasses}]) / new clothes etc. You can't change uglyness I think I look pretty decent in my glasses, and I don't do contacts. I just wear T-shirts and combats.... is there something wrong with that? I don't see how either of those things I could really improve. I've never really liked my hair, but I've settled on and been happy with the scruffly, non-short thing for quite a long time... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 You can't change uglyness I think I look pretty decent in my glasses, and I don't do contacts. I just wear T-shirts and combats.... is there something wrong with that? I don't see how either of those things I could really improve. I've never really liked my hair, but I've settled on and been happy with the scruffly, non-short thing for quite a long time... You should go with the short hair. I had fairly long hair for a while and had it done short recently and everyone has been liking it. It brings more looks from females and is just generally better, plus easier to maintain. I don't regret it and a friend of mine was the same, went from long to short and is also getting more attention. My situation still sucks though because my friends STILL don't do anything :/ Try to get them out once a week, but it's so hard to and as such, I still don't meet people Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 Short/ Long hair really depends on your features, I mean it really didn't suit me one bit, but other people fly with it just fine. Same goes for facial hair. It's really just trial and error, unless you have a good sense of judgement regarding your own appearance (I don't) Ok, a few days after I slept with one of my best friends, and I'm having really neurotic instances of "fuck, did she like it? Why don't I remember anything? Does she remember anything? Should I ask her? Is anything going to be weird?" that have taken over from my initially cavalier attitude of fuck bitches. Having a bit of a detente with my sanity. Make it go away =(. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 Ok, a few days after I slept with one of my best friends, and I'm having really neurotic instances of "fuck, did she like it? Why don't I remember anything? Does she remember anything? Should I ask her? Is anything going to be weird?" that have taken over from my initially cavalier attitude of fuck bitches. Having a bit of a detente with my sanity. Make it go away =(. Same situation as you man. Wondering if it's going to be weird when I see her next week or not! I'm guessing not and hope that we hook up again... Total mind fuck the now though! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 26, 2011 Yeah man, although I made the mistake of leaving town the next day and now I'm going on holiday for more than a month, so I'm not really sure where this is gonna leave it. Well, shit happens, you just have to talk yourself down from caring too much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) I'm confused. Sit down Chair, not that confused. Friend started going out with a guitarist. I went to a few of their gigs. They're awesome. The drummer is pretty. Took a load of photos of the band at a recent festival. Drummer added me on Facebook, had a brief chat, she requested the photos I took* Went to a gig last week with the intent of talking to her properly and maybe asking her out depending on how it went. Realised talking at a gig is pretty much impossible. Also realised that I will probably never be able to talk to her properly since I'll only see her at gigs. Resorted to asking over Facebook if she wanted to do something** Pretty much gave up on getting a reply. Got a message today saying I was welcome to join her and her work friends at their regular pub sessions. Now I'm thinking that she probably isn't interested and is just being nice, but me being an optimist (although I really wish I wasn't), I can't help but analyse it and get my hopes up. One thing that does work in my favour is that I congratulated her on getting through to the next round of a competition and she gave me a hug. She was hugging quite a few people so I'm not reading too much into it, but I doubt she would have hugged me if she thought I was some freak, so she at least thinks I'm normal. *Probably the reason she added me in the first place to be honest. **Nothing too much, just explained that I wanted to talk to her at the gig, but couldn't. Asked if she wanted to do something soon since it would be nice to talk to her about photography and stuff (she's into photography and video editing. She's proper ace). What the Christ do I do? Do I go with her and her friends and sit there with a bunch of stangers, with both me and her knowing why I'm really there or just quit while I'm ahead? Well, not ahead, but not woefully embarrassed. Edited July 27, 2011 by Goafer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 27, 2011 Maybe turn up with a friend? Or just leave it. Awkwardness, ugh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 27, 2011 Well you get over awkwardness. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If it goes badly, best you'll have a funny story to tell, worst, you'll forget about it and go on with your life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
