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How far should you go in helping someone?


Eenuh

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So my two friends and I went out Wednesday night. Nothing exciting, just went to two pubs (it was really quiet for some reason). At about 2:30 am, when the pub was closing, we decided it was time to hit the hay.

 

On our walk to my friend's room, we suddenly hear a woman saying "Help. Can you help me please?" She was an older woman (in her sixties I think) and was standing on the sidewalk in between some bushes, looking really disoriented and with a broken handbag (one of the straps was dragging over the floor).

 

We weren't sure what was going on or what she wanted, so we asked her what we could help her with.

"I live around here and need to get home, but I'm so scared." Now imagine her saying this while almost falling over, and sounding like she's about to cry. So of course we said we'd help her get home. I linked arms with her and we slowly walked towards her apartment.

 

Along the way we tried to talk to her. We asked her if maybe she was scared of the students in the streets, but she said she wasn't as she used to work in a school for 30 years. She explained she had problems with her balance, which I noticed as she kept almost falling. While saying this it also seemed like she was hyperventilating a bit. She also kept saying three times how I was walking so fast, when actually it was her who was pulling me along with her (I was going as slow as I could). And she asked if we were going out, to which we said we were going to sleep as it was already late. She seemed a bit confused by this.

 

We got to her apartment block, where she sorta fell on the stairs. Though luckily not hard or anything, but still scared us. We managed to get her inside, where she failed to find her keys for ten minutes. One of my friends found it for her, after which it still took her a minute to open the door. We decided to go all the way with her to her door, so we went into the elevator with her. Then again she failed to open the door with her key so my friend helped her again, then when she went inside we said goodbye to her and left.

 

 

 

Now afterwards we were wondering, did we do enough? I mean we helped her get home of course, but should we have made sure she got into her bed okay or asked her if she had someone she could contact? She was really unstable and there was something wrong with her... I thought at first she smelled of alcohol, but my friend thought it might've been urine and sweat (she was quite sweaty, hair sticking to her forehead).

We don't know what happened to her, why she was out at 2:30 am, if maybe she needed care... Should we have called the police or someone else? It all felt so weird.

 

So yeah, long story. But how far should you go in helping people/strangers, without invading their privacy?

 

Do you have stories of your own, where you had to help someone out with something?

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You know her address now, so I'd say either call around yourself at a more reasonable time of the day to check on her and eliminate teh alcoholic theory, or pass it on to whatever social security institution you have in Belgium. I suppose you could call the police using the non-emergency number of the nearest station and just alert them. It sounds to me like she may've had a stroke, or dementia may be taking hold.

 

You did excellent not just leaving her at any of the doors and seeing to it that she was alright! Plenty of people would've just walked on by.

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I think it may have been some sort of dementia or something similar. Like maybe she forgot where she was and got lost, hence why she was still out at that hour. When we left her at her place, we noticed the lights were all on, so we weren't sure if there was someone living there or if she just forgot to turn them off.

 

I know the building she lives in, but I forgot what room it is heh. It's one of those biiiiig blocks with lots and lots of people living in there. A friend thought it might be social apartments (for people who aren't doing too great financially), so maybe there are already people there to look after her. Hmm.

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That was a nice story. I don't think you invaded her privacy at all (not sure if you were suggesting that in your question at the end or just asking that to other people) she sounds like she needed the help.

 

Maybe do what Jay said and check up on her if you can. Just to make sure she was alright. She probably was, but still. I'm proud of you.

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Yeah if you can remember the apartment then maybe pay her a visit if you're still concerned. I think you did a great job in helping her out.

 

Indeed. Good job, though if you can, a checkup would help you clear any lingering doubts...

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