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Posted

Tonight's Hot Tub Rankings was a load of blokes!!

 

I promptly fired off this email to Channel 5...

 

Howdy,

I'm wondering what on Earth went on with tonight's (21st Oct) Hot Tub Rankings show.

 

My friends and I all meet up via the medium of Xbox Live to chat with each other while watching the show. (We tend to have quiet Friday nights).

 

Imagine our horror when instead of the usual collection of alright looking women mixed with a couple of 5 out of 10's there was a load of half naked blokes!

 

Anyhow, will things be back to normal next week?

 

Thanks in advance,

Dan Gadd.

 

P.S Was the hostess formerly a man?

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Posted

My letter of complaint:

 

Concerning your 21/10/05 episode of "Hot Tub Ranking":

 

Me and "the guys" usually get together every Friday night to watch the much-loved Hot Tub Ranking to participate in judging the 5 women ourselves. We generally have a great time, and it is a vital session to our bonding as friends.

 

We got together on the 21st October at the usual time of 11:30pm to watch this week's episode, and we were shocked and appalled to find that the usual hot women were replaced by scraggy men. After staring at the screen for 10 seconds not knowing what was going on, we looked at eachother and the verbal abuse started flying at eachother and at the TV. Our much beloved "Ranking" had been defaced - it had been pissed all over. We turned the TV off in disgust and then started having a fight. I lost an eye in the fight, and I have now lost my beloved friends.

 

This is all due to your ridiculous defamation of the usually-incredible show.

 

Due to this incident, I don't think I shall ever be watching Channel 5 again (now that the Friday night softcore porn has gone, your channel doesn't have anything to offer.. except for Gladiator on Sunday, because Gladiator is awesome) and I shall be recommending to my friends that none of them watch it too.

 

Very disappointed. For shame.

 

Thoroughly annoyed,

 

Mike.

 

PS - You couldn't of picked a more terrible host for the show. I hereby volunteer to do the job on future episodes (as long as you bring the women back).

Posted

Hi,

 

I was recently disturbed and shocked by the recent epispode (21 October) of cult male favourite 'Hot Tub Ranking'. Instead of furfilling my entertainment needs at 23:35 every Friday evening, I was treated to a show that done nothing but insult my sexuality. Being used to seeing five lovely ladies in the best underwear available today, I was horrified to witness five other human beings the same gender as myself (I am a man, who is straight) parade around in thong-like undergarments. Being a show targeted towards young 18 year old males with no life (like myself), I see nothing but stupidy showing a men edition of HTR. I, along with other fellow other males in the same angry predicament, were forced to do nothing but watch this insanity whilst considering our future loyalty towards other Channel Five programming.

 

In addition, the show's presenter's gender is greatly debated amongst fellow HTR followers, could you please confirm for me that the presenter of Hot Tub Ranking used to be a man?

 

Thank You, I look forward to a reply.

 

Colin Henderson

Avid Hot Tub Ranking Fan

Posted

Not yet, I'll shove my reply up here when it comes in, if it comes in. I'm guessing we'll all get the same reply.

 

Me, Mike and Guy were up until 4am last night chatting in the Halo lobby, with Dan hanging on till just after 3. Poor Mike and Guy had work in a matter of hours while I could sleep in until midday. I'm sure you felt awesome walking into work this morning...

Posted

Im pretty pissed off with Halo. Me, Dan & Haver (for a short time), Guy, Meik and Leige were having a good time. I was playing well and the games were fun.

 

Then everyone except Leige had gone, so we felt plucky and went for a BTB. We played two games, both were uneven teams - with us being he unlcuky ones. We managed to hold one for a draw. 3 people versus 6 - Leige battled like a King. Then on the last game, i crouched all the fucking way up Coagulation with the bomb. Solid Snaked round 3 guys, had about a second left on the bomb and was greeted with a shotgun to the head. We went on to lose. So that pissed me off a little (a lot).

Posted
Not yet, I'll shove my reply up here when it comes in, if it comes in. I'm guessing we'll all get the same reply.

 

Me, Mike and Guy were up until 4am last night chatting in the Halo lobby, with Dan hanging on till just after 3. Poor Mike and Guy had work in a matter of hours while I could sleep in until midday. I'm sure you felt awesome walking into work this morning...

 

I had to be at work at 11am. I woke up late at 10:30am. I have not cleaned myself in over 24 hours.

Posted

Now, this is what I really don't get. I'll play terribly night after night, but I take a hiatus for a week or so, and I'm a goddamn robot.

 

It just doesn't figure.

Posted

I also wrote an email of complaint to Channel 5 concerning Friday's episode of Hot Tub, and today opened my Hotmail inbox to find I'd received a response.

 

Here is my original email to them:

 

 

 

Dear Channel 5,

 

My friends and I are avid watchers of your late Friday night quality show

named "Hot Tub Ranking". It provides me (and countless prison inmates, no

doubt) with a great deal of joy. The beautiful women that appear each weak

are second only to the luscious host woman whose name I really don't know.

To us, she is simply asian goddess rice ball queen. I would like to take

this opportunity to shun your recent showing, for it was glazed with a man

honey I am uncomfortable with.

 

Hot Tub Ranking is clearly a show for loveless losers who want to oggle hot

women, it is not a show to oggle shitty men with shitty packages and shitty

shiny delicious pecks of godliness that I love with all m-NO. NO. IGNORE

THAT.

 

Basically I am disgusted you would assault our Friday night with this

episode of Hot Tub Ranking. One of my friends was so questionably aroused

by this installment that he is now permanently erect. This is my friend,

mind, and totally not at all ever me.

 

I can only hope that Friday nights will be good again with the next episode,

presuming your entire fanbase has not abandoned you after this travesty.

 

Regards,

 

Guy Hodge

 

 

 

And their response:

 

 

Dear Guy

 

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding Hot Tub Ranking.

 

We were sorry to read that you found the 'role reversal' episode of Hot Tub Ranking disagreeable. As you may be aware, the show deals with the issue of gender, and it was felt that this would be an interesting twist on the idea. Nonetheless, we have logged your disapproval of this for the attention of all regular five personnel, and we hope you tune in to the final episode this Friday, 28th October, when the normal show format is resumed.

 

Thank you for your interest in Five.

 

Yours sincerely

 

VIEWER ADVISOR

Posted

Haha.

 

Let's play some Halo tonight. I was watching The Sopranos today, and I started playing mind-Meteos with some square tiles that were in the background. I need to detox.

Posted

After returning home this afternoon, I promptly inspected my old email account. Sure enough, like Guy, I have recieved a response.

 

I don't think i've ever laughed so much in my life.

==============

 

Date: 25th October 2005

 

Dear Mike

 

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding Hot Tub Ranking, and please allow us to apologise for the delay in responding.

 

There was no secret made of the fact that Friday 21st's episode of Hot Tub Ranking would feature a role reversal of the traditional format. You will be pleased to know that this Friday's episode is a return to the show's original premise of 5 girls being judged by 3 men.

 

We have also logged your disapproval of Mia's hosting of the show for the attention of all relevant Five personnel.

 

Thank you for your interest in Five.

 

Yours sincerely

 

VIEWER ADVISOR

==============

We have also logged your disapproval of Mia's hosting of the show for the attention of all relevant Five personnel.

Oh Channel 5, thank you for brightening my day.

Posted

Oh well :P There are lots more idiots out there.

Posted

My reply is awesome, I've bolded the best part:

 

 

Dear Colin

 

 

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding Hot Tub Ranking.

 

We were sorry to read that you did not like the ‘role reversal’ episode of Hot Tub Ranking. We felt that this switch would be a humorous way to turn the tables, and of course the entrants were all willing to take part. You will be pleased to know that the show will be back to its usual format this Friday, 28th October.

 

We have no information on Mia’s gender, and can only advise that this mystery is in keeping with the trans-gender elements of the show.

 

Thank you for your interest in Five.

 

 

 

Yours sincerely

 

 

 

 

 

VIEWER ADVISOR


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