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How do I dump a girlfriend?


kopo

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One idea suggested by a friend is to go to a Bear Factory. You know those shops where you can make your own bear kind of thing.

 

But record a "dumping" message for the bear to say. Then take her out for dinner or something, then hand her the bear at the end.

 

She'll be all like "how sweet!"

 

Till she squeezes the bear and hears the message and runs off.

 

:(

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Just don't talk to them..................and whenever they try speaking to you, just use the shortest answers possible.

 

Many years back some girl asked me out when I was pist, and I stupidly said yes and not realising it the following morning. It went okay for about 2 weeks, then I just thought enough is enough, and just started ignoring her.

 

I'm a cruel **** sometimes, but when you're young you do things like that. Nowdays I wouldn't ever think about getting rid of a girl in this way.

 

If that doesn't work, then introduce your girlfriend to one of your mates who'll shag anything, and just watch from afar. :wink:

 

Edit - wow, we have swearing filters now!

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Heres one: go to a party that you know said partner will attend and when they arrive, pretend they havent and go about your beeswax as per.

 

oh, helps if its gonna snow and they're miles from home, essentially trapping them there in a state of living hell and confusion for HOURS. best make it new years eve too, that way as your victim decends into a depressed and angry state, everyone ele gets happier and happier at a similar rate, making the happy/sad divide simply colossal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hell, someone tried it on me so yeah, it works.

 

 

 

EDIT nope, no filters for me, i just unleashed profanity on a grand scale and it passed

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You could have one last night of great sex and shit on them as they fall asleep. I'm sure they'd get the message.

 

Hm.....where did I read that?

 

 

Anyways. I'd say it be better to be a virgin then have lost it to somebody you hardly know as:

 

c)If you go and get smashed and do it with some dickheaded woman/guy. Then who knows, they could wake up, and with their evil vindictive mind they could go ahead and give you a Cleveland Steamer

:smile: (bluddy 15 character count)

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Have sex with them and text them in the morning to say you're gay.

 

OR!

 

You have sex with them and half way through pressure them into having "labe"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Labe Definition : "To fuck someone in the eye, therefore breaking the hard core of the eyeball and letting all the eyeball residue spill followed by both of them eating it."

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OR!

 

You have sex with them and half way through pressure them into having "labe"

 

Labe Definition : "To fuck someone in the eye, therefore breaking the hard core of the eyeball and letting all the eyeball residue spill followed by both of them eating it."

 

Thats pretty sick :eek: and how do you know this?

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Oh oh!

I got a better one!

Hire a Succubs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Succubus Definition: Popular creatures in mythology that drain the tesopherone out of men by having sex with them and adding it to their lifeforce, making them even stronger and a better than before. While they were having sex, they would stick their tongue out and it would go down the throat of the man, nearly killing him. It was believed (although not proven) that there even a Lesbian Succubus, that hunted and thrived on women.

They are basically demoness' from Hell whose sole purpose is to drain the souls of men by having sex with them while they are asleep.

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