Things That Parents Say

[Roostophe]

My parents never told me that playing videogames would damage my eyes. Heck, my eyes are so buggered, videogames would have done nowt to them.

 

But they did tell me that I couldn't stay alone in the house when I was younger because then the house would blow up.

[Eenuh]

When making a silly face:

"Your face will stay that way if the big clocks in Rome start playing." Or something along those lines. It was weird and didn't make much sense. Those same clocks were also the ones that would grow wings to fly over here and drop our Easter eggs (yeah it's not just the Easter bunny doing that). =P

 

When staying in the bathtub for too long:

"You will turn into a fish if you stay in there for too long."

And then she would point at our wrinkly hands and feet and say it was already starting.

 

And this one I hated; would always have to hear that after something happened or my sisters were fighting:

"You are the oldest, you should be an example to your sisters and take responsibility."

You don't say stuff like that to little kids. =(

[Rummy]

Pepper and Vaseline, the cures for EVERYTHING. I'd like to say that's a little exaggerated, and in truth it is, but the scary part is that it is really only a little exaggerated.

My mum says stupid stuff all the time, she isn't home right now, but I bet by tuesday I'll have a whole list of stupid stuff. In fact, I'm gonna start writing them down as she says them, see you tuesday!

Oh yeah, she used to tell me that playing video games, and watching wrestling(for the brief few years that I did) and basically anything with slight violence or even slight fun factor, would make me aggressive and violent. Fucking aggressive and violent my arse, I OUGHT TO KILL THE FUCKING WITCH!

 

Oh man, there's too much. All mum...

"Why aren't you revising?"

"Haven't you got any work to do"

"Stop playing on that so much it'll damage your eyes"

"Those games/computer is no good for your eyes you know"

"You have no idea" (errr..yes i do)

"What do you want to do that for?"

and not so much directed at me but:

"I'm so tired" - usually said after i've had a really tiring day/week of work/job/exercise or whatever and she hasn't done all that much

 

All of these. Another thing that really annoys that both my mum and dad say;

Me: *whilst filling up the kettle or holding it in my hand* Do you want some tea?

Parent: If you're making some yes. I'd like to add on the video game one, that I have pretty much been watching TV/playing games since I was like 3 years old, and probably using computers(though not as much) since I was like 6, yet am the only one in my family not to be wearing glasses.

 

Yet they never hesitate to ask me to make tea at any other time they fancy some, grrr! Or sometimes, out the blue, when I'm CLEARLY not making any(for example, whilst sleeping) they'll just ask me 'Are you making tea?'

[Guest Stefkov]

What's going on in my mums mind:

"No-one else is allowed an opinion, I am always right!"

 

But what they actally say

Stop playing games while theres an exam coming up.

You started revising yet.

you done your homework?

you wanna work this saturday

moanmoanmoanmoanmoan*.

 

(*thats all my mum ever does.)

[The Bard]

There are so many that I can't remember any of them clearly. When I look back on it, it seems that all my parents used to do was shout platitudes at me. See my parents are religious, and that gives them more than enough, vacant, superficial bullshit to toss at me. They've cooled off in recent years though, and it was never so overbearing as to make me want to kill them in the face. Twice.

 

One thing I've always hated is "Respect your elders" what the fuck? I'll respect whoever commands and earns my respect thankyou very fucking much.

 

When staying in the bathtub for too long:

"You will turn into a fish if you stay in there for too long."

And then she would point at our wrinkly hands and feet and say it was already starting. =(

 

Yeah that happened to me.

 

If I ever have kids, I'll tell them they can't stay too long in the bath cause they'll dissolve. In an homage to Scrubs.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Some of these cracked me up.

 

"Your face will stay that way if the big clocks in Rome start playing."- Eenuh's Mum. Wtf!

[Eenuh]

Some of these cracked me up.

 

"Your face will stay that way if the big clocks in Rome start playing."- Eenuh's Mum. Wtf!

 

Yeah it's weird. Seriously never made sense to me, so I would always just reply that it wasn't true.

Besides, if those clocks were so good to bring us our Easter eggs and everything, why would they go and torture kids who made funny faces? Makes absolutely no sense. =P

 

I'm sure there's more stuff like that that my parents used to say, I just can't think of it right now.

[Eddage]

Some of these cracked me up.

 

"Your face will stay that way if the big clocks in Rome start playing."- Eenuh's Mum. Wtf!

 

I think the fact that said clock flies over to Belgium and drops Easter Eggs is ever so slightly stranger!

[gaggle64]

"Have I EVER forced you to do ANYTHING? Now go do the fucking washing up!"

[Shino]

"Have I EVER forced you to do ANYTHING? Now go do the fucking washing up!"

 

Hahaha, awesome.

 

 

 

Theres two I recall most.

 

After getting some bad grades:

 

"It's your only job [studying]! We don't ask any thing more from you!", half hour later: "Come mow the lawn".

 

When I get "good" grades on a hard class (like 12/20):

 

me: "it's really good, I passed on a very hard class that most don't".

 

annoying parent: "I don't care about anyone else, you need better grades".

[Kurtle Squad]

It will also make hair grow on your palms.

That's a misconception told by dirty people when they confused spunk-mould for hair.

 

Some of these cracked me up.

 

"Your face will stay that way if the big clocks in Rome start playing."- Eenuh's Mum. Wtf!

 

"...if the wind changes" is also a version of that.

[Rummy]

Hahaha, awesome.

 

Theres two I recall most.

 

After getting some bad grades:

 

"It's your only job [studying]! We don't ask any thing more from you!", half hour later: "Come mow the lawn".

 

When I get "good" grades on a hard class (like 12/20):

 

me: "it's really good, I passed on a very hard class that most don't".

 

annoying parent: "I don't care about anyone else, you need better grades".

That is all so true. Usually when I'm doing something not work related, my mum asks me if I don't have any work to do, and I tell her no, then she tells me I should be doing my work and to get on with it.

Yet, alot of the time when I am actually doing my work, she'll ask me to be doing housework and stuff, telling me my work isn't everything and I have to do other things, such as housework.

[Charlie]

My face would stay like 'that' if the wind changed.

 

Never heard the big clocks one before...

[Ice9]

"We'll see"

 

Instead of saying no, because they know you'll argue, even though you know that meant "no" anyway.

 

"We aren't everyone else"

 

When refering to how everyone else has TVs in their rooms and Sky TV.

[Eenuh]

"We aren't everyone else"

 

When refering to how everyone else has TVs in their rooms and Sky TV.

 

Man, had to hear that one way too often. And then they would also say stuff like "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you too?". That's just stupid. D:

[MoogleViper]

I hated that one too. Whenever you did something that somebody else did. "If [insert name] jumped off of a cliff would you?"

 

No because that would kill me. Joining in and throwing paper around the room etc. won't.

[The Bard]

I hated that one too. Whenever you did something that somebody else did. "If [insert name] jumped off of a cliff would you?"

 

No because that would kill me. Joining in and throwing paper around the room etc. won't.

 

Oh my god. You had to didn't you You've got me in full rant mode now. Must. Resist.

 

Shit, I'm going down and shouting at my parents. Possibly the most annoying thing. You explain it to them every time "No, cause unlike you, I'm not a fucking dumbass," yet they still spew the same bullshit.

[MoogleViper]

I'd say teachers were the worst for that one.

[Fierce_LiNk]

"We'll see"

 

Instead of saying no, because they know you'll argue, even though you know that meant "no" anyway.

 

"We aren't everyone else"

 

When refering to how everyone else has TVs in their rooms and Sky TV.

 

Oh, man. You just struck a nerve, I loathe it when people say those things! "Maybe" has the same effect on me, too.

 

Maybe means "NO, and the shut the hell up" in my book.