Anti-Bullying Week

[Beast]

I thought it would make a pretty cool thread to hear stories of people who used to be bullies or the bullied and how it has affected their lives today. Also, I thought it would be cool to take a picture of ourselves holding a sign saying something motivational, funny, etc, to do with anti-bullying at the bottom of your post.

 

I'll share...these are pretty much my stand-out moments.

 

As everybody pretty much knows here, I'm quarter-cast, I'm fat and I'm not exactly your stereotypical male. I liked dancing, I liked musicals, I didn't exactly act butch (I'm not camp but I'm not manly either), my voice isn't exactly manly either, etc. I was bullied throughout my school years just for being myself.

 

In Year 7, on my first day in school, I got into a fight with this kid who pretty much called me fat all day long. I tried to keep calm and just shrug it off but it got to the point where he thought he could push me literally. So I grabbed him by his neck and punched him so hard, I cut his head open. A teacher broke us up and because I was bigger than him, they all thought I was trouble. They heard my side of the story and with several people backing me up, he got into trouble. He needed stitches in his head. I felt so bad and terrible that I kept myself to myself. After about a week, I was back to normal though.

 

In Year 9, things got a lot worse for me. It got to the point where I hated myself. I was bullied every day. I was being called derogatory things to do with homosexuality and my size, specifically by these group of lads. Nobody would dare mess with them because they always walked in their little group. There were about 7 of them but I always remember two of the lads. They were nasty. They used to put milkshake in my shoes, threw my clothes under the shower when it was PE, throw food and drink at me...again, one day, I snapped. One time, they were throwing MnMs at me so I turned around, grabbed the MnMs from his hand and forced them into his face. The bullying simmered down to name-calling and running away when I turned around. Still, it was better than nothing. I was also called 'the colour of someone's shit' and a 'dirty sand-nigger' amongst other things.

 

Year 10 was where everything changed. This kid used to unexpectedly happyslap me all of the time and he used to run away. At the time, I was too fat to run and chase him and he knew it. However, one day, he did it so hard that my head started throbbing. I pretty much saw red that day. I tracked him down in Science class and battered him. He grabbed a stool and tried using it against me. He hit my body but I grabbed a stool and whacked it off his head and I just punched him time and time again. It took my science teacher and the teaching assistant to get me off him. The headmaster called me to his office, asked me what happened and I just broke down. I told him all of what I went through. He said I should have been suspended and I should get into big trouble but he understood me and understood the situation. He just asked me to apologise to him. I refused at first but he said he needed me to do it for some reason so I did. We tracked him down in another class and I shook his hand, brought him close and whispered "Back the fuck off!" and that was that.

 

College was better but the first college that I went to was a complete nightmare. These chavs just kept on following me and saying stuff about me. The main one always took the piss out of my voice and said I was gay because of it. Funnily enough, about a month later, there was a video going around the college of him drunk, sucking cock so...yeah...they left me alone after that.

 

In my first workplace, I wasn't bullied exactly but the management never liked me. The supervisors (bar two) hated me and one even showed it. When the riots happened, my supervisor made comments to me saying that it was "all because of your people" and things like that. He got a bit angry. The management were just bastards to me but I took it. I just ignored it though and soon I left the place. Since then, I vowed I would never let anybody, no matter if they were management or not, fuck me over. I think I've kept to my word.

 

Truth is, there are times where I hate being myself because I feel odd but I also know that I can't be anybody else but me. I'm not your stereotypical straight male but bollocks to it, who the fuck cares?! We're in 2014, for God's sake! Who really has the right to judge? Some silly little insignificant person who has issues themselves so thinks they can use that shit on me? Hell nah! They can kiss my big, fat, milk-chocolate arse! There's days where I don't like myself but I just have to live with that. I am and always will be myself.

 

SCREW YOU, BULLIES! STOP TRYING TO MAKE BULLYING HAPPEN, IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! #AntiBullyingWeek

 

[Shorty]

Sorry to hear you went through that man. Given that forums like these attract many people who found comfort in the often socially reclusive act of video gaming, you'll probably find quite a lot of similar stories on here. Me, I hate school until around year 10, when at least most of the bullying kids suddenly grew up. That said, it's all in the past now. If you're able to get through it, once you reach adulthood, it's something you should never have to put up with (not that it doesn't exist, but it can usually be dealt with or at the very least, left behind)

 

That said despite my empathy I won't be writing anything on a white sign for the Internet to change to whatever they feel like... No good can come of that! Also your sentiment, whilst witty, unfortunately doesn't ring true when taken literally (See Poe's Law). Bullies have already made bullying happen and pretending it's a non-thing certainly isn't an answer. My school's biggest problem was probably that they were in complete denial that bullying existed there.

Edited November 19, 2014 by Shorty

[Kav]

Being half Iranian (even if I don't look it) I used to get into fights when I was younger through racism. I say get into fights as opposed to get bullied because I don't feel I was bullied, I didn't feel a victim of bullying.

 

When I was young my Dad told me and my brother what we'd probably go through and have to face and so he prepped us for it, taught us how to fight and took us to martial arts (I remember going to Judo first on my 7th birthday). He'd always told us to always talk your way out of a fight first but just in case, we knew how to fight. However, he did say that if people try to bully that we should beat them up and beat them up good, that'd put a stop to them... lo and behold it did.

 

It started in primary school. My brother is 2 years older and after he left a few lads in the year above me tried their hand at bullying me. I remember a lad starting with the racism and then he and his friend started acting tough and pushing me. I did my best to talk my way out if it but this didn't deter them and so we fought.

After giving them a good thrashing (one was completely KO'd and went to hospital) I was taken to the headmaster's office and my Dad was called into school.

I love when my Dad tells this story, always puts a smile on my face as the teachers really wanted me in trouble for what I'd done.

 

So my Dad is sat in the headmaster's office and at first just listens to everything he has to say. My Dad then asks why the fight started and the headmaster tells him. So my Dad's response was this; "I'm sorry Mr Bennett, then you'll have to blame me and not fault my son. I have told him to do this if anyone tries bullying him. He could tell the teachers but what would you do? You could maybe put a stop to it inside of school, but what happens after? What happens at weekends? They'd carry on, even worse than before because there'd be no teachers to tell them off, but what I can guarantee you now is that these two lads will never try bullying my son again and maybe others too."

The headmaster asked my Dad if he'd tell me to beat then up outside of school and my dad said he'd not, that if it was dealt with there and then it would nip it in the bud and not have to carry on through the day until after school.

The headmaster had nothing else to say. The attempts at bullying stopped and so he had no complaints thereafter.

 

 

In secondary school it took one early fight in year 7 to stop it for a good few years, until my brother left the school again and the year above turned their attention to me... that again was quickly stopped.

In year 7 the supposed hardest lad in the year tried his hand at being racist with me. A dislocated jaw later and nobody said anything derogatory for a good while.

Again after my brother left the supposed hardest lad in the year above gave it a shot, again I beat him down and nothing carried on.

 

So in school it wasn't really bad. It was outside of school where it used to kick off often, with the lads in the area that I grew up in. That was because of the numbers of them, plenty would try their hand but would get beaten up. My brother and I used to fight a hell of a lot growing up, but once all were beaten they stopped.

 

Bullies just need a good hiding, it soon puts an end to it.

Edited November 19, 2014 by Kav

[Blade]

Completely agree with @kav82.

 

With bullying as a child the best course of action is to just "smack em back". I would probably give the same advice that Kav's dad gave.

 

It's good prep for adulthood to as there is no teacher to tell then. You are on your own, with no-one to stick up for you.

 

Bullying in adulthood (ive never been a victim, but I assume it happens albeit probably less common) though could be more difficult to deal with as if you hit someone then there is a risk you could get into deep trouble over it. I can't think of another way of dealing with it apart from hitting them.

Edited November 19, 2014 by Blade

[Kav]

I remember when I was in year 11 at school and saw a lad (bless him he looked like the atypical nerd) in year 7 or 8 I guessed, being bullied by a group of lads. Verbally at first but then they set upon him, pushed him over and started kicking him.

I ran over, picked up and threw a couple of them a good distance and the other two stopped, I picked the lad up who was getting kicked and shouted at the bullies "you fucking touch my cousin again I'll rip your heads off!". The kid wasn't my cousin, just felt he could do with them off his back. The other lads ran off and the kid thanked me, I said no probelm and carried on playing football with my mates.

Bullies just need showing up.

[Iun]

I was bullied pretty much every day by one kid at my primary school. I don't know if I would say I "deserved" it, but I was a pretty arrogant child and didn't do anything to hide the high opinion I had of myself. Literally from the first day of school to the very last, this kid picked on me. On the very first day he gave me a nosebleed, on the very last he scraped his football boot down the back of my shin.

 

Periodically, when I would go back to that end of the town, if I saw him I had to cross the road or I'd end up headbutted, dragged to the ground and kicked, or otherwise pretty badly hurt.

 

Part of me says Yeah, you were the smartest kid in school, the teacher's pet and the number one soloist, so you were an obvious target. You made no effort to hide your abilities or the favour bestowed by the teachers. So you asked for it. But another part of me says, no kid, no matter how opinionated and snotty should actually be frightened of going to school.

 

It stopped after about Year 8 - the last time I saw the kid I was with one of my mates, who was absolutely useless: I got punched to the ground while he just stood there bouncing a basketball. I pulled the bully down next to me and desperately cracked him in the head. I don't know if I stopped it that day: I never saw the kid again, so I don't know if he was shocked by my finally turning on him. I'll never know now.

 

But yeah, the best way to tackle a bully is to show them your face, and never call for help.

[Grazza]

It's sad, I generally think bullying, sexism, racism etc is due to lack of class. I'm not having a go at working class people here - I mean the underclass. Being brought up with no respect for others.

 

I had a few problems at school and did fight back then because I needed to defend myself. The trouble with school is it's too easy for bullies to think they are above the law and allowed to attack people.

 

The only bully I've encountered as an adult was when I was unemployed at the turn of the century and attended a jobs club at the local vocational college. One of the men on the course was out from prison. He took a dislike to me and kept using derogatory homosexual terms towards me (I'm not even remotely homosexual - not that there's anything wrong with it - but it gives an insight into the mind of a bully/homophobe). As he never attacked me, I held back, as I really would have hurt him.

 

So yeah, bullies are assholes. It's just one of those things you need to learn in life - when not to let people have power over you, and also when to use restraint.

 

(Sorry, no picture as I'm an old fogey who wouldn't know how to take it/put it up!)

[Goafer]

Whilst I do despise bullies and I do like a good bully smackdown (and I really do), I think on it's own it does absolutely nothing when you think of the bigger picture. The bully will still be a bully, they'll just move on to someone weaker. They've already got a certain way of thinking (in order to be the "alpha", I need to assert my dominance over someone with violence/intimidation), a good ol' smackdown just reinforces their way of thinking. They still think the same, but now you're above them on the dominance ladder.

 

Aggression always begets aggression. It may not come back to you, but it'll go somewhere.

 

A good hiding cures the short term, as the stories in this thread will attest to, but long term I think bullies need to be made to change their way of thinking.