Giving advice in times of serious need

[EEVILMURRAY]

I believe I've connected with all of one person in my life, he is my best friend and knows everything I've been through, everything I'm doing and everything I hope to do. It is a strange thing to connect so deeply with somebody that you feel almost as if that person is you, I sometimes feel very lost if I don't see him for a long time, as though I may explode from all the thoughts in my head that I can only share with that person.

Sounds like a nice connection

[Aimless]

Once I invite people to share things with me they no longer do so. As soon as the offer is there people don't want to take it, regardless of the unsolicited information they might have 'imposed' upon me prior to that. I guess I make a better stranger than a friend.

 

Anyway, I feel honesty is the key. Often when someone tells you something you try really hard to think of the right answer, but life isn't like a game where it's just a case of choosing the correct dialogue option: sometimes there's nothing to be said. Just because you don't have a silver bullet shouldn't make you clam up entirely, though, as being lost for words can be comforting in its own way; the other person may not be tangibly better off having spoken to you, but at least they know they aren't alone in helplessness. Solidarity is heartening, even if you're fighting for a hopeless cause.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Anyway, I feel honesty is the key.

But it's such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.

[Aimless]

And that's exactly why honesty is so important.

 

If all you're going to do is offer the same placations as everyone else then what's the point? If no one else is helping then more of the same isn't going to get you anywhere.

[stuwii]

Drugs, alcohol and sex can be a fun combination until relationanships get involved

[nightwolf]

Sounds like a nice connection

 

It is, like having yourself in the room, but its somebody else. It makes life alot easier to deal with. Because lets face it lifes abit shite :awesome:

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

It is, like having yourself in the room, but its somebody else. It makes life alot easier to deal with. Because lets face it lifes abit shite :awesome:

Life's a piece of shit

when you look at it.

Life's a laugh, and death's a joke, it's true.

You'll see it's all a show,

keep 'em laughing as you go,

just remember that the last laugh is on you, and ...

Always look on the bright side of life!

[Guest Maase]

Life's a piece of shit

when you look at it.

Life's a laugh, and death's a joke, it's true.

You'll see it's all a show,

keep 'em laughing as you go,

just remember that the last laugh is on you, and ...

Always look on the bright side of life!

 

I love that song

Monty Phyton at their best.

 

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This thread is very interesting, allow me to give my point of view on the subject.

 

I am also like Dyson, when one of my friends is in problems (and sometimes, even guys who I don't know), they come to me.

They like having my advises and making me hear their problems.

 

As soon as they start talking about something, I interrupt them to ask the following:

 

"Are you asking for advice?"

If they tell me "No", I hear them all quiet and tell them the generic things like "That's awful" when they say something bad and laugh when they say something funny, if they tell me "Yes", then I ask the following next:

 

"Do you want me to be friendly or brutally honest?"

 

Most of them are hesitant, but all of them end up wanting the brutally honest version.

 

When they finish talking, I think of them as me and think what I would do.

I'm never afraid of telling them that they are being mean, jackasses, jerks or even sluts, simply because they told me to be brutally honest.

But I always tell them what I would do if I were them.

 

And even though I tell them everything honestly, they keep coming back for my advises.

 

 

So yeah, like someone said here, I would say that honesty is the key to giving good advices, no matter what.

[Jon]

I don't think I've ever truly connected with my friends. I mean, i obviously tell them things but I never feel like i'm totally being myself. It's probably down to how things went at school. You always had to be cool, could never say or do anything that might deviate from the norm. It's never bothered me though because I've got my brother and he's someone who knows exactly what's going on with me without me having to utter a word. I have the upmost respect for him because unlike me, he was never afraid to be himself - no matter what the fallout or consequences were.

 

That said, friends do often come to me with problems because I won't bullshit them. I tell them exactly what I think, whether it's what they want to hear or not. I think they find that kinda refreshing.

[Ashley]

Strangely people come to me with their relationship problems. I've not been in a relationship since Eisenhower was in power. But I try as I figure that's what they want. Effort, an ear and some words. Although I always inner cringe as I don't want to give bad advice.

 

But there's not really somone I feel I can completely confide in. Some people I talk to about stuff but hmm, I certainly can't think of someone I could trust with everything.

 

Did this answer the question? Was there a question? There was an awful lot of text and I'm sleeeepy but its the general vibe I got from the responses