Rummy Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Also, how a person looks tells you a lot about who they are on the inside, such as how confidently they stand, or how clean they are:P Is that looks or personality though :p? Tbh, I find the concept complex. I can certainly see and appreciate/judge outer beauty seperate to anything else, and I feel I can do the same for my own opinions of what I'd consider 'inner beauty'. However having said that, when it comes to attraction etc. I find the two go so much hand in hand. I can find someone who looks 'attractive' quite ugly, and vice versa. I think the beauty of people comes as a whole package, or at least so for me. Yeah, looks form a first/base judgement in a lot of cases, but don't personality traits too? I realise personality is a lot more subtle and subjective, but there's definitely people who you can kinda tell who they are right off. I think growing up on the internet has made a big difference for me also. Being online you get to know people(or used to) without ever seeing them. You learn about how awesome people can be and how judgements can be made - there's always that moment you see the face of a person you've spoken to/known online for ages and kinda think 'oh! interesting' like you could someone have known what they looked like from who they were, or vice versa about people you see and judge, but then talk to and get surprised. Personally I love that, and I love people, so I won't write anyone off immediately for either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diageo Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 There are also facial characteristics that portray subtle personality traits. You regularly hear of people looking like assholes or like nice people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edza Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I'll start by saying that there is no such thing as objective beauty. Nothing on this planet or anywhere else has something you can measure in "beauty units". It is a human abstract construct like spiritualism, deities, good or evil etc, made "real" by people who don't understand or don't want to think about it. If anyone has read the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", it's the same thing as how "quality" is defined (or not - read the book). As far as attractiveness to a potential partner is concerned, there are a lot of things that evolution has bred into us like when people are more attracted to others with the same face shape etc that we take for granted. Societal evolution has taken over as the main driver on this though as back in Greek or even Victorian times, a lady's posterior was deemed attractive if it was big. Stuff like that will drive the shape of the human race in the future. Normal evolution is less and less relevant to us as a species now that society drives towards removing the natural selection part. The one thing that seems to not have changed as being attractive at all though is the size of a mans tackle as megalithic art shows! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 There are also facial characteristics that portray subtle personality traits. You regularly hear of people looking like assholes or like nice people. I just....it's weird, but I just absolutely think this is true. I see some people and I think they just look like they're evil people (like, people who are evil). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizz Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I think we still have good instincts when it comes to that. I usually feel like I can tell what a person is generally like almost instantly, or after a couple of minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I would certainly say that attraction plays a big factor but I have found that I've liked certain women's personalities so much that it has definitely made them seem more attractive to me than before. This ... All personality and no looks = zero attraction, so just friendsAll looks and no personality = At best a short term thing Both = Winner I think the reason so many people think that personality is more important than looks is that they're rating looks on a "could she be a model?" type of beauty. But everyone has different tastes, so when you see someone dating an ugly person we just assume they've chosen the uggo due to their personality. In actual fact, that's just their taste and they actually just find them physically attractive. I'm sure we've all looked at people and thought they weren't conventionally beautiful, but we still find them attractive. When people say they're only looking for personality, what I actually think they mean is that they've stopped caring what the general public finds attractive and are actually looking for someone with personality, but also a look they personally find attractive, even if it's not "media beautiful". I personally find odd little physical quirks quite attractive. I'm not talking full on rhino horn or hammerhead eyes, but little interesting things that set people apart from the crowd. ... and this basically sum up my view. Of course we place value on outer beauty; if we only care about personality, it's just a friendship - it's the attraction that makes it more than that. But, as the headline says, beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder - it's a subjective concept. I think we've all seen people fancying someone we ourselves wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. It also seems to me personality can "leak through" and affect how someone looks to us; to quote Doctor Who: "... their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it." Hmm, I would argue that sometimes you are made to feel bad for valuing outer beauty as it may imply that you are shallow. Or, that you only care about looks. You also take to find certain crowds spouting the "inner beauty all the way" lines as they don't value themselves as "beautiful". If they're overweight, for example. A bit of a generalisation, I know. Both are important. Why can't you have both? I wouldn't go on a date with somebody I didn't find attractive, and I wouldn't go on a date with somebody who was boring as fuck. I go for both. A boring personality puts me off, but I also need something that catches my eye in the first place. The reason valuing outer beauty is looked down upon is because it's - for the most part and in theory - an inconsequential part of us; we don't choose our physical characteristics, and they're irrelevant in all regards (disregarding the characteristics that affect our physical capabilities). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zechs Merquise Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 The reason valuing outer beauty is looked down upon is because it's - for the most part and in theory - an inconsequential part of us; we don't choose our physical characteristics, and they're irrelevant in all regards (disregarding the characteristics that affect our physical capabilities). I disagree. Our outward appearance is anything but inconsequential. I wouldn't date a fat/scruffy/dirty person. Keeping yourself in good order says an awful lot about a person. Also, many physical characteristics can be altered or improved by living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellmeister Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I agree with Zechs. I personally think I scrub up well whereas when I can't be bothered I'm less gorgeous :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxigen_Waste Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 If you find someone unattractive you are not going to stick around to find out their inner beauty. Why not? Don't you have any female friends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellmeister Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Yes but I haven't tried to date them as I don't find them attractive to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I disagree. Our outward appearance is anything but inconsequential. I wouldn't date a fat/scruffy/dirty person. Keeping yourself in good order says an awful lot about a person. Also, many physical characteristics can be altered or improved by living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. You completely missed the point of my post. I am talking about natural physical appearance - body, facial features, colour of eyes, hair, skin etc. - everything that you were born with and which is thus not a product of your personal style, grooming and fitness choices, but which still plays a large role in whether people consider you beautiful. For the most part, i.e. for all other purposes than attracting a mate, these characteristics are in theory completely inconsequential; they have no bearing on any skills, they say nothing about your personality. But because physical attraction plays such a huge role in our biology, it does heavily affect how we interact with other people, and thus is becomes very consequential, and that is what a lot of people are unhappy with. Yes, part of your appearance is the product of your personal choices, but another part, a large part, you have no say in at all. That was the entire point of my post, to explain why people look down upon valuing outer beauty: because a large part of it is outside your control and thus says nothing about you as a person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxigen_Waste Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Yes but I haven't tried to date them as I don't find them attractive to me. Has it never happened to you to suddenly find people you once thought were plain quite attractive? I meet quite a bit of women I don't really care for at first but who suddenly become attractive once I get to know their quirks... Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not implying either of us is "doing it wrong" or anything, I just find it curious that it's not the same for everyone. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellmeister Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Well they became more attractive yes as I grew to like their actual company. I agree with you, I think my remark was more along the lines of meeting someone through a date/ in a club/ interwebz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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