Posted July 29, 2008 when someone asked me in at work why i was doing my exams in august. i was "my mum died in may"? ugh - that was awkward Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 Awesome story alert! Although it never happened to me and no-one ever believes me when I tell this, here goes. It's actually really, awful... I was at a friends barbecue in Cyprus and we were all celebrating his dad getting his promotion in the army. Anyways, some wifey who was there went to the toilet in the house and had a poo. To cut the detail, the poo mustn't have flushed and so she rolled it up in toilet paper and tried again. Again it wouldn't flush (dodgy Cypriot toilets). So she did the sensible thing. She wrapped it in more toilet paper and threw it out of the window. Out of the window. Yes. Now that might not seem too bad but it got worse: The poo (in toilet roll) rolled down the small pantry-alike roof and...almost as if it was meant to be...Landed ON the barbecue with the food. The silence was deafening from the (once) joyous chef. And when she came from the toilet everyone just knew it was her. Her face just dropped and she ran indoors. It was a good job everyone had a sense of humour because she was slaughtered for months and months. Poor lass. I skipped on the food that day though. Possibly the most embarrassing (and hillarious) situation I've seen happen to anyone. Why didn't she just let it float? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 Why didn't she just let it float? You know what women are like when it comes to poo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 just remembered this. going to a few bars with some friends, one has a new female friend joining us for a couple. pretty oriental girl, very nice, but a little shy. on guy, pete, mentions he has a ticket to to some thing called after party (bassicly 2am-7am drink n dance) the girl perks up hearing this and says, in a very steriotypical chinese accent, very loudly "YOU GOT YOU TIIIICKET?!" I had to grab my drink to laugh into, as did pete and i belive the guy who was involved with said setiotype. worst part was, id ordered a bloody mary and the taste was foul, my face was stuck midway between laugh and grimace of pain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 I had this one time where my brain short circuited somehow and said an awful awful thing. You know those times where you're in a situation and you think "man it'd be so rude if I said this"? Only, this one time, where I was at the young age of 13, I actually said it. It's not like I wanted to say it, but while I was thinking about the particular sentence, I really said it out loud at the same time. I still feel really bad about this, I'm such an asshole. I said to this girl: "Why don't you pull a paper bag over your head?" She smacked me in response, rightfully so. Yep, I'm going to hell. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 I know this is a long one, but my god was it awkward, read it and judge. well, my father had the mother of all awkward moments a few years ago, i must have been 14 or 15. just got back from holiday to spain, dad finds out he dosnt have a job any more, at a family meal later that day, he has a bit to much to drink, but insits on driving, which we let him do as we didnt notice how drunk he was. we had to make a stop before going home, at my aunt and uncles house. now, my aunt and uncle were in their 40's, and hadnt ever had kids, aunty had recently become pregnant, which was bassicly the last chance at a kid, but sadly she had a misscarrage. my dad had managed to ride up the curb outside the house and burst two tyres on his car, so we turn up, busted car, and slightly drunken father in tow. the mood was a little bleak, disscussing recent holidays, they had been to florida (where she lost the baby) and we had been to spain. obviously the conversation didnt venture there, but it also had an air of sadness and quiet understand. not from dad mind. hes joking away, laughing, being loud. not rude, just a bit inappropriate. being shown around the recently decorated house we get to the bathroom and are shown the bathtub. my uncle says "and its got an impregnated jacuzi jet!" (it made bubbles) i see my dad's face light up, a grin spread and before anything can be done he says, voice booming. "I BET A FEW THINGS HAVE BEEN IMPREGNATED IN THERE!" and he starts laughing. hard. it was a quiet taxi ride home that day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 Why didn't she just let it float? I've never met a woman who has just 'let it float' yet... classssy Chris, your dad sounds like a legend. Drunken blokes can never refuse a sexual innuendo. It's like a weakness. But a funny one! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2008 I've never met a woman who has just 'let it float' yet... classssy Chris, your dad sounds like a legend. Drunken blokes can never refuse a sexual innuendo. It's like a weakness. But a funny one! its a great story, every one laughs about it now, but at the time it was awful. still, its the one story that, if timed right can get people to shoot drink out their nose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
