Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Yep, while I'll have the whole house to myself this weekend, we're going to make the most of it. ^^ I'm prepared and all, and I'm not really nervous but just wondering if theres anything I should be prepared for or any precautions. I think the hardest part will actually be putting on the condom.
gaggle64 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Try to avoid being too presumptive. You say the wrong thing and *BAM* you're clawing at the door, begging for your underpants.
Olympic Gamer Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 If you kill her afterwards, you get your money back. Bold for importance.
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Try to avoid being too presumptive. You say the wrong thing and *BAM* you're clawing at the door, begging for your underpants. LOL, yeah, I'm actually worried about what to say, or what i might say...
Oxigen_Waste Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Have a wank before you actually go in, it'll make it all better, comfort-wise. And also, make sure she comes at least once before you go in. :wink:
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Its going to feel really short.Make sure you do some foreplay. RELAX. :shakehead I'm going to try my best to not come home too soon. But is it that the feeling is just too good? or just excitement?
Shino Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I get a feeling this is going to be epic. Be sure to report back.
LazyBoy Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Have a wank before you actually go in, Have ten, seriously. Always try not to look so utterly f*cking surprised that you're having sex. Oh and to take a line from Happy Gilmore, its all in the hips.
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Have a wank before you actually go in, it'll make it all better, comfort-wise. And also, make sure she comes at least once before you go in. :wink: You can't be serious dude...are you? Wank and then go in? Wank, cum, then go in? ROFL. I get a feeling this is going to be epic. Be sure to report back. Will do. My new bed just came today funny enough, so too did my strawberry scented candles (and condoms). Though my other curiosity is in this so-called 'smell of sex', whats the smell like after?
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Have ten, seriously. Always try not to look so utterly f*cking surprised that you're having sex. Oh and to take a line from Happy Gilmore, its all in the hips. Serious!? I'm actually saving my energy from porn right now to conserve energy and hopefully (in the case of a quicky) be at it again soon after. Just to make sure, she knows about this right? Yeah dude, its been six months already. Shes coming over while my family go to Manchester (Northern England), I'm gonna cook some of my delicacies, watch a movie, drink a bit and then wham! The whole sherbang. ^^
LazyBoy Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Mate, unless you pump a couple out before hand (and I mean before you meet her, don't leave her in the front room whilst you hammer down in the loo), it'll be over with faster than the dream of an Englishman winning Wimbledon.
Oxigen_Waste Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 You can't be serious dude...are you? Wank and then go in? Wank, cum, then go in? ROFL. Wank like 5 minutes before you go in. Then you'll have time to actually enjoy it instead of going OH SNAP I'M COMING as soon as you stick it in. Listen to the voice of reason!!! Seriously, if not for yourself, for her, just think about it for a second, why the fuck not? While you're going down on her, have a wank and cum, she won't even notice and you'll have a wider range of attack time to stalk her genitals. Question... is she a virgin too? Though my other curiosity is in this so-called 'smell of sex', whats the smell like after? It's not pretty, but it's mutual, so who's gonna complain?
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Mate, unless you pump a couple out before hand (and I mean before you meet her, don't leave her in the front room whilst you hammer down in the loo), it'll be over with faster than the dream of an Englishman winning Wimbledon. Really...Its just that usually when I abstain from porn for like a week, the next time I jerk it my orgasms are uber. Hmmm, this is a bit of a dilemma. Well, I trust you guys know what you're saying. Question... is she a virgin too? Shes got a little bit more experience than me, yet she is younger (shes 20, I'm 22 in a few weeks) and I know she likes when men are in charge. Lol.
Olympic Gamer Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Just to make sure, she knows about this right? I lol'd. Theres always force Also, if you can, stick it in the pooper. That way you know your a winner, virginity and pooper dealt with in one night.
LazyBoy Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 :shakehead I'm going to try my best to not come home too soon. But is it that the feeling is just too good? or just excitement? Is the cheer disbelief you're actually doing it. Really...Its just that usually when I abstain from porn for like a week, the next time I jerk it my orgasms are uber. Hmmm, this is a bit of a dilemma. First time ain't about enjoying it, throw the romantic shit out the window. The first time sucks and anyone who tells you different ain't had good sex. The first time is about checking out the turf, running the length of the pitch and getting rid of those nerves that you get when you first step out onto the field (hey, a football analogy). Remember, sex aint about love, it's a sport. Just like your tae-kwon-do, you're gonna get kicked the the head a couple of times at first (literally in my case), but practice enough and she'll be on her back screaming in no time. And that my boy, is where babies come from.
Oxigen_Waste Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Really...Its just that usually when I abstain from porn for like a week, the next time I jerk it my orgasms are uber. Hmmm, this is a bit of a dilemma. Well, I trust you guys know what you're saying. Shes got a little bit more experience than me, yet she is younger (shes 20, I'm 22 in a few weeks) and I know she likes when men are in charge. Lol. Of course the orgasms get stronger if you have less sex, but they also come faster, which probably means she won't be too happy about it, and in the end, neither will you. So she's not a virgin? Then you'll definitely have to wank it off. Seriously, she isn't gonna be happy with the traditional hello-goodbye fuckfest that usually happens on "first times". And you're gonna want to keep her happy and enjoying it, because that means more sex to you. MUCH MUCH MORE. First time ain't about enjoying it, throw the romantic shit out the window. The first time sucks and anyone who tells you different ain't had good sex. The first time is about checking out the turf, running the length of the pitch and getting rid of those nerves that you get when you first step out onto the field (hey, a football analogy). Remember, sex aint about love, it's a sport. Just like your tae-kwon-do, you're gonna get kicked the the head a couple of times at first (literally in my case), but practice enough and she'll be on her back screaming in no time. And that my boy, is where babies come from. You deserve a nobel. : peace:
Olympic Gamer Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Also, word of warning, some girls like to shove their fingers up your ass to pleasure you more. If she does this, have a shovel at the ready.
Hellfire Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 When you're bombarding be sure to yell "Bombs away!", then beat on your chest, while uttering a warcry, punch the wall, grab debris and eat it. And don't forget to show her this thread. I'm counting on you son, make this forum proud.
Olympic Gamer Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Lmfao, I got that recently off Macrochan. Bravo for seeing the oppertunity, I didnt.
Oxigen_Waste Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: I lol'd so fucking much!
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 First time ain't about enjoying it, throw the romantic shit out the window. The first time sucks and anyone who tells you different ain't had good sex. The first time is about checking out the turf, running the length of the pitch and getting rid of those nerves that you get when you first step out onto the field (hey, a football analogy). Remember, sex aint about love, it's a sport. Just like your tae-kwon-do, you're gonna get kicked the the head a couple of times at first (literally in my case), but practice enough and she'll be on her back screaming in no time. And that my boy, is where babies come from. Wow, thank you very much sir, I will keep all this in mind. You must be a Sifu in sex dude. : peace:
Shino Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I can imagine Lazyboy in China doing awesome kung fu and Chinese girls.
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Of course the orgasms get stronger if you have less sex, but they also come faster, which probably means she won't be too happy about it, and in the end, neither will you. So she's not a virgin? Then you'll definitely have to wank it off. Seriously, she isn't gonna be happy with the traditional hello-goodbye fuckfest that usually happens on "first times". And you're gonna want to keep her happy and enjoying it, because that means more sex to you. MUCH MUCH MORE. Yeah, you have great points. Man all this pressure now, lol. When you're bombarding be sure to yell "Bombs away!", then beat on your chest, while uttering a warcry, punch the wall, grab debris and eat it. And don't forget to show her this thread. I'm counting on you son, make this forum proud. LOL, why you...
LazyBoy Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah, you have great points. Man all this pressure now, lol. We expect a post game report just so you know.
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