The Land of Socks!!!

[Coolness Bears]

Everytime my socks get washed at least one goes missing!

 

I have no idea where it goes and it just disappears into thin air...

 

Then i'm left with one odd sock each time until i have a whole bunch of odd socks, so i start to mix and match and match them until i buy a new pair! and the cycle goes on!

 

I'm confused, as to where they go? The land of socks?

 

Does anyone else get this?

[Slaggis]

I have the same problem! Where is the land of socks? They always find a way of getting away from me. Damn socks!

[jayseven]

Ah dude! I once wrote a couple of short stories detailing the many ways socks try to escape your abode. It's all part of a conspiracy.

 

Either buy all same-coloured socks, or just keep all your socks un-potatoed and single, and grab any two and embrace the most non-conformist approach to life there is -- odd socks.

[Fierce_LiNk]

I totally believe in the land of socks. I had a great pair of Jim Royale socks (the dude from The Royale Family) and one has gone missing.

 

Oddly enough, one of my ex's socks has turned up in my sock drawer recently. o_O

[Guest bluey]

 

Laundry: A Quantum Mechanical Approach

by: Brian J. Reardon bluey

 

It has been argued that the act of doing laundry followed the discovery of clothing by only a few weeks. While this fact has been regarded to be fantastically trivial, one can not ignore the enigmas that the act of doing laundry has created. This is especially true in the age of high speed washers and dryers. In the early days, the disappearance of articles of clothing could simply be accounted for by saying that the sock was lost in the river. Unfortunately, such excuses can no longer be used today. The availability of high speed automated washers and dryers has provided a number of fundamental questions that can not be answered using the classical laundry theory (i.e.: the river washed the sock away). Such questions include:

 

Where, exactly does lint come from and why does the quantity of lint change from load to load?

*If the washing machine is a closed system, how can socks disappear?

*When using public washing machines and dryers, why is it that every once in a while you will find someone else's socks in your load even when you checked the washer/dryer ahead of time?

 

The inability to answer these questions using the classical theory of laundry resulted in the development of new theories.

 

This paper is a simple introduction to the quantum theory of laundry. As a result, it only deals with the simplest example in which a sock is analyzed in either a washer or a dryer. The mathematics involved in the analysis of a sock in both a washer and dryer and in transition between the two is left for more advanced laundry courses.

 

The first modern attempt to explain the fundamental questions of laundry involved the decay theory. The decay theory states that the quantity of socks in a load can be expressed as a decreasing exponential function of time which is analogous to radioactive decay (see equation 1).

 

Nt =N0*exp(-pt) (1)

 

 

 

The decay theory easily explains the origin of lint and why new socks tend to release more lint than old socks. However, according to this theory, socks should never completely disappear, or, more importantly, reappear. This clearly contradicts everyday experience.

 

The Quantum Theory of Laundry

 

The quantum theory of laundry (QTL), however, can explain the fundamental questions of laundry. The QTL is base on three intuitive assumptions.

 

The sock never leaves the enclosed system of the washer or dryer.

While the sock is confined to the total washer system it is not confined to the main washing compartment. It may be in the main washing compartment, in the lint trap , or anywhere in between.

The sock can be expressed mathematically as a wave function of position and time (Y(x,t)).

 

These assumptions can be mathematically manipulated to provide a number of functions and conditions which are in close correspondence to quantum theory.

 

The first such condition is that the error is observing the position of a sock in a system multiplied by the error in measuring the momentum of the sock as it travels in the system is a constant. This relation is commonly referred to in quantum mechanic circles as the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle(see equation 2). The implication of this relation is quite profound. If one disturbs the washer by looking in it or if one ends its cycle, the act of observing the sock in the main compartment will increase the error in knowing exactly how fast the sock is moving within the system as a whole. This means that the computerized tracking system in the machine that tries to maintain a statistical analysis of where every sock might be may accidentally misplace a sock somewhere in the washing system.

 

The second result of the basic assumptions of the QTL is that the sock must always be somewhere in the washing system. This implies that the probability of finding the sock somewhere within the system at any time must always equal unity, or, the integral of the sock wave function squared must equal 1 (see equation 3).

 

The decay theory easily explains the origin of lint and why new socks tend to release more lint than old socks. However, according to this theory, socks should never completely disappear, or, more importantly, reappear. This clearly contradicts everyday experience. The Quantum Theory of LaundryThe quantum theory of laundry (QTL), however, can explain the fundamental questions of laundry. The QTL is base on three intuitive assumptions. The sock never leaves the enclosed system of the washer or dryer. While the sock is confined to the total washer system it is not confined to the main washing compartment. It may be in the main washing compartment, in the lint trap , or anywhere in between. The sock can be expressed mathematically as a wave function of position and time (Y(x,t)). These assumptions can be mathematically manipulated to provide a number of functions and conditions which are in close correspondence to quantum theory. The first such condition is that the error is observing the position of a sock in a system multiplied by the error in measuring the momentum of the sock as it travels in the system is a constant. This relation is commonly referred to in quantum mechanic circles as the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle(see equation 2). The implication of this relation is quite profound. If one disturbs the washer by looking in it or if one ends its cycle, the act of observing the sock in the main compartment will increase the error in knowing exactly how fast the sock is moving within the system as a whole. This means that the computerized tracking system in the machine that tries to maintain a statistical analysis of where every sock might be may accidentally misplace a sock somewhere in the washing system. The second result of the basic assumptions of the QTL is that the sock must always be somewhere in the washing system. This implies that the probability of finding the sock somewhere within the system at any time must always equal unity, or, the integral of the sock wave function squared must equal 1 (see equation 3).

 

 

 

P(x) = òY*Ydx = òïY2êdx = 1 (3)

 

Using these assumptions, a general form of the wave function for the sock in the washer can be inferred. This function is identical to the standard solution to the schroedinger Wave Equation ( SWE ) and can be expressed as two partial derivatives of time and space.

 

-h2¶2Y + U(x) = ih¶2Y (4)

 

 

8mp2¶x2 2p¶t2

 

 

8mx2t

 

 

 

 

 

The sock wave functions that satisfy the SWE can take three forms that represent the three different possible places the sock can reside within the washing system. The entire system can be pictured as an infinite potential energy well that contains a finite energy barrier. The main washing compartment is represented as a potential well(5), the washing system is represented by the potential barrier(6), and the lint trap is represented by another, but narrower, potential well(7).

 

Y1(x,t) = Asin(kx-wt) + Bcos(kx-wt) (5)

 

Y2(x,t) = E exp(-Fx-ut) (6)

 

Y3(x,t) = Csin(kx-wt) + Dcos(kx-wt) (7)

 

Where, the constants A, B, C, D, E, and F, are material properties of the sock and washer system and w, k, and u are cyclic properties of the postion of the sock within the washer.

 

The QTL explains the fundamental of problems of laundry in a very direct manner. The origin of lint can now be defined as the sum of probabilities that a sock traveled or tunneled through the washing system into the lint trap. The sock tunneling phenomenon is analogous to the electron tunneling phenomena in quantum mechanics. The occasional presence of large quantities of lint is easily explained by the real likelihood that entire socks can spontaneously take on the wave function of the lint trap.

 

The QTL also explains that socks never actually disappear. Quite simply, at the time of disturbance or stopping of the machine they have a wave function that puts them temporarily in the washing system or completely converts them to lint.

 

Furthermore, if a machine is disturbed during a subsequent washing cycle there is a finite probability that a sock lost in previous cycles may reappear in the main washing compartment. This explains the appearance of other people's sock in your wash.

 

Lastly, the disappearance of entire loads can be explained by the existence of the finite probability that all of the socks in the main compartment have taken on the wave function of the lint trap and subsequently turned to lint. This further implies that instead of accusing someone of stealing your socks, running the machine while empty for long periods of time will increase the chances of retrieval of most of the socks.

 

While the current implications of the QTL seem extraordinary, the far reaching implications may redefine laundromat etiquette for centuries to come.

 

*The more often you disturb the system the greater the chance of losing a sock and the greater the chance of retrieving a previously lost sock from someone else's load.

*Furthermore, there is always a probability that an entire load of socks can be lost since the act of disturbing the machine is always a part of doing laundry.

*Thirdly, throwing away lint makes the retrieval of lost socks more difficult. So in all fairness to everyone who has ever used the machine, the lint should never be removed.

*Fourthly, and for the individual, most importantly, when at a laundromat one should always insist on using the same washer and dryer to increase your chances of retrieving previously lost socks.

*Lastly, and most importantly, washing machine repairpersons will now be required to have extensive backgrounds in quantum mechanics.

 

-------------------------------

...and that's where they go. see? simple!

 

[Letty]

I always have pairs of socks!

 

Except for one pair, I have one purple one and one blue one - which count as a pair to me.

[Guest Stefkov]

Recently we've not been losing as many.

 

In the past we'd lose 1 a week. I still have a load of single socks in my drawer.

[Daft]

My socks eat each other. Only the strongest survive. Only the strongest have the honor of caressing my feet.

 

This is SOCKTOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest bluey]

I always have pairs of socks!

 

Except for one pair, I have one purple one and one blue one - which count as a pair to me.

 

odd socks ftw ^___^ saying that, i have no idea if my socks are pairs or not ~ i put them on in the morning, and i'm never awake enough to bother checking

[Sanchez]

I have this problem as well, I bought another 6 pairs the other day, i bet it'll be a month tops before I need more.

[Brian Mcoy]

Mcoy hasn't lose any socks recently, Mcoy has had the classic 1 sock goes missing though.

[weeyellowbloke]

My girlfriend got me some socks for christmas (I know it's a sexy present). Anyway I've already lost one sock from both pairs.

 

I blame the underpants gnomes, they've obviously brached out to other items of laundry.

[Jimbob]

I sometimes have socks that go missing, i do check the machine and there is never anything left in there after the wash, but then in the next wash they re-appear mysteriously usually in with the white load.

[Dan_Dare]

there's a great gag in ren and stimpy where they go through a black hole and find an alternate dimension where all the odd socks go to form a giant, cheesy mountain.

[Charlie]

Well you know what you can do with all the odd socks you have.

 

 

 

I also have this problem, but an even bigger problem is when I'm at home someone steals all my socks because my mum does the washing and then dishes all MY socks out to other people because they all look quite similar! It is, needless to say, bloody annoying.

[Coolness Bears]

Ah dude! I once wrote a couple of short stories detailing the many ways socks try to escape your abode. It's all part of a conspiracy.

 

Either buy all same-coloured socks, or just keep all your socks un-potatoed and single, and grab any two and embrace the most non-conformist approach to life there is -- odd socks.

 

I do that all the time i don't think i own a pair that isn't odd socks anymore it's great! the other day i had one snowman sock on and the other with Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. also tonight i accidently wore my trousers backwards

 

My socks eat each other. Only the strongest survive. Only the strongest have the honor of caressing my feet.

 

This is SOCKTOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Haha! That made me laugh!

 

 

Laundry: A Quantum Mechanical Approach

by: Brian J. Reardon bluey

 

It has been argued that the act of doing laundry followed the discovery of clothing by only a few weeks. While this fact has been regarded to be fantastically trivial, one can not ignore the enigmas that the act of doing laundry has created. This is especially true in the age of high speed washers and dryers. In the early days, the disappearance of articles of clothing could simply be accounted for by saying that the sock was lost in the river. Unfortunately, such excuses can no longer be used today. The availability of high speed automated washers and dryers has provided a number of fundamental questions that can not be answered using the classical laundry theory (i.e.: the river washed the sock away). Such questions include:

 

Where, exactly does lint come from and why does the quantity of lint change from load to load?

*If the washing machine is a closed system, how can socks disappear?

*When using public washing machines and dryers, why is it that every once in a while you will find someone else's socks in your load even when you checked the washer/dryer ahead of time?

 

The inability to answer these questions using the classical theory of laundry resulted in the development of new theories.

 

This paper is a simple introduction to the quantum theory of laundry. As a result, it only deals with the simplest example in which a sock is analyzed in either a washer or a dryer. The mathematics involved in the analysis of a sock in both a washer and dryer and in transition between the two is left for more advanced laundry courses.

 

The first modern attempt to explain the fundamental questions of laundry involved the decay theory. The decay theory states that the quantity of socks in a load can be expressed as a decreasing exponential function of time which is analogous to radioactive decay (see equation 1).

 

Nt =N0*exp(-pt) (1)

 

 

 

The decay theory easily explains the origin of lint and why new socks tend to release more lint than old socks. However, according to this theory, socks should never completely disappear, or, more importantly, reappear. This clearly contradicts everyday experience.

 

The Quantum Theory of Laundry

 

The quantum theory of laundry (QTL), however, can explain the fundamental questions of laundry. The QTL is base on three intuitive assumptions.

 

The sock never leaves the enclosed system of the washer or dryer.

While the sock is confined to the total washer system it is not confined to the main washing compartment. It may be in the main washing compartment, in the lint trap , or anywhere in between.

The sock can be expressed mathematically as a wave function of position and time (Y(x,t)).

 

These assumptions can be mathematically manipulated to provide a number of functions and conditions which are in close correspondence to quantum theory.

 

The first such condition is that the error is observing the position of a sock in a system multiplied by the error in measuring the momentum of the sock as it travels in the system is a constant. This relation is commonly referred to in quantum mechanic circles as the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle(see equation 2). The implication of this relation is quite profound. If one disturbs the washer by looking in it or if one ends its cycle, the act of observing the sock in the main compartment will increase the error in knowing exactly how fast the sock is moving within the system as a whole. This means that the computerized tracking system in the machine that tries to maintain a statistical analysis of where every sock might be may accidentally misplace a sock somewhere in the washing system.

 

The second result of the basic assumptions of the QTL is that the sock must always be somewhere in the washing system. This implies that the probability of finding the sock somewhere within the system at any time must always equal unity, or, the integral of the sock wave function squared must equal 1 (see equation 3).

 

The decay theory easily explains the origin of lint and why new socks tend to release more lint than old socks. However, according to this theory, socks should never completely disappear, or, more importantly, reappear. This clearly contradicts everyday experience. The Quantum Theory of LaundryThe quantum theory of laundry (QTL), however, can explain the fundamental questions of laundry. The QTL is base on three intuitive assumptions. The sock never leaves the enclosed system of the washer or dryer. While the sock is confined to the total washer system it is not confined to the main washing compartment. It may be in the main washing compartment, in the lint trap , or anywhere in between. The sock can be expressed mathematically as a wave function of position and time (Y(x,t)). These assumptions can be mathematically manipulated to provide a number of functions and conditions which are in close correspondence to quantum theory. The first such condition is that the error is observing the position of a sock in a system multiplied by the error in measuring the momentum of the sock as it travels in the system is a constant. This relation is commonly referred to in quantum mechanic circles as the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle(see equation 2). The implication of this relation is quite profound. If one disturbs the washer by looking in it or if one ends its cycle, the act of observing the sock in the main compartment will increase the error in knowing exactly how fast the sock is moving within the system as a whole. This means that the computerized tracking system in the machine that tries to maintain a statistical analysis of where every sock might be may accidentally misplace a sock somewhere in the washing system. The second result of the basic assumptions of the QTL is that the sock must always be somewhere in the washing system. This implies that the probability of finding the sock somewhere within the system at any time must always equal unity, or, the integral of the sock wave function squared must equal 1 (see equation 3).

 

 

 

P(x) = òY*Ydx = òïY2êdx = 1 (3)

 

Using these assumptions, a general form of the wave function for the sock in the washer can be inferred. This function is identical to the standard solution to the schroedinger Wave Equation ( SWE ) and can be expressed as two partial derivatives of time and space.

 

-h2¶2Y + U(x) = ih¶2Y (4)

 

 

8mp2¶x2 2p¶t2

 

 

8mx2t

 

 

 

 

 

The sock wave functions that satisfy the SWE can take three forms that represent the three different possible places the sock can reside within the washing system. The entire system can be pictured as an infinite potential energy well that contains a finite energy barrier. The main washing compartment is represented as a potential well(5), the washing system is represented by the potential barrier(6), and the lint trap is represented by another, but narrower, potential well(7).

 

Y1(x,t) = Asin(kx-wt) + Bcos(kx-wt) (5)

 

Y2(x,t) = E exp(-Fx-ut) (6)

 

Y3(x,t) = Csin(kx-wt) + Dcos(kx-wt) (7)

 

Where, the constants A, B, C, D, E, and F, are material properties of the sock and washer system and w, k, and u are cyclic properties of the postion of the sock within the washer.

 

The QTL explains the fundamental of problems of laundry in a very direct manner. The origin of lint can now be defined as the sum of probabilities that a sock traveled or tunneled through the washing system into the lint trap. The sock tunneling phenomenon is analogous to the electron tunneling phenomena in quantum mechanics. The occasional presence of large quantities of lint is easily explained by the real likelihood that entire socks can spontaneously take on the wave function of the lint trap.

 

The QTL also explains that socks never actually disappear. Quite simply, at the time of disturbance or stopping of the machine they have a wave function that puts them temporarily in the washing system or completely converts them to lint.

 

Furthermore, if a machine is disturbed during a subsequent washing cycle there is a finite probability that a sock lost in previous cycles may reappear in the main washing compartment. This explains the appearance of other people's sock in your wash.

 

Lastly, the disappearance of entire loads can be explained by the existence of the finite probability that all of the socks in the main compartment have taken on the wave function of the lint trap and subsequently turned to lint. This further implies that instead of accusing someone of stealing your socks, running the machine while empty for long periods of time will increase the chances of retrieval of most of the socks.

 

While the current implications of the QTL seem extraordinary, the far reaching implications may redefine laundromat etiquette for centuries to come.

 

*The more often you disturb the system the greater the chance of losing a sock and the greater the chance of retrieving a previously lost sock from someone else's load.

*Furthermore, there is always a probability that an entire load of socks can be lost since the act of disturbing the machine is always a part of doing laundry.

*Thirdly, throwing away lint makes the retrieval of lost socks more difficult. So in all fairness to everyone who has ever used the machine, the lint should never be removed.

*Fourthly, and for the individual, most importantly, when at a laundromat one should always insist on using the same washer and dryer to increase your chances of retrieving previously lost socks.

*Lastly, and most importantly, washing machine repairpersons will now be required to have extensive backgrounds in quantum mechanics.

 

-------------------------------

...and that's where they go. see? simple!

 

Hehe! that got way to complicated or me

 

I'm starting to think it's not only socks that mysteriously vanish my mp3 player and pink stylus have also disappeared! and all i did was put them beside my bed!

 

I'm staying up tonight to keep an ever watchful Eye!