Erections and Gingivitis.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Was going to make two topics, but I thought fuck it and remix them into one topic and give you a weird idea of what the topic may contain when you see the title.

 

First off.

Some Manly Men advice needed here chaps.

 

My dick's got a mind of it's own. The thing won't stay incarcerated. It takes one thing vaguely erotic and it's at attention quicker than an army cadet.

 

HOW DO I KEEP THE LEVITATHAN UNDER WRAPS!?

 

Second off.

I've been told I have Gingivitis. Ron Weasley jokes aside I've been recommended to see some sort of hygenist. Fuck that, I'm going to pimpsmack this on me one. Apart from regular brushing and shit, anything anyone can recommend to give this the good shitting it deserves?

 

 

As you can tell by this topic, my body is on top form recently.

[Oxigen_Waste]

Was going to make two topics, but I thought fuck it and remix them into one topic and give you a weird idea of what the topic may contain when you see the title.

 

First off.

Some Manly Men advice needed here chaps.

 

My dick's got a mind of it's own. The thing won't stay incarcerated. It takes one thing vaguely erotic and it's at attention quicker than an army cadet.

 

HOW DO I KEEP THE LEVITATHAN UNDER WRAPS!?

 

Lemme guess... virgin?

[EEVILMURRAY]

Fuck no. I lost my virginity when I was 14.

[Paj!]

I get that too.

 

(Not the gingivitis. I'm praised for my teeth hygeine.)

 

But it's not even erotic things. It's just randomly.

[conzer16]

For the ginger pubes use an antibacterial mouthwash (not a red one mind!) and gods honest truth they'll fall off in about 3 weeks.

[EEVILMURRAY]

I get that too.

 

(Not the gingivitis. I'm praised for my teeth hygeine.)

 

But it's not even erotic things. It's just randomly.

Same here. I'm at work and suddenly I can feel one of my trouser legs expanding, so I have to reach in and pull it so it's pointing up. Seems to make the blood go quicker. Plus people can't see it when you're walking.

[motion]

Fuck no. I lost my virginity when I was 14.

 

Now that's something to be proud of...

 

Anyway, question relating to problem 1... why do you want to keep it down exactly? And what do you think we're going to suggest? Prescription drugs? It's a normal part of life.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Now that's something to be proud of...

 

Anyway, question relating to problem 1... why do you want to keep it down exactly? And what do you think we're going to suggest? Prescription drugs? It's a normal part of life.

Maybe some form of mental training. Do you think of something unsexual [Mastadons?]

 

Plus, we can all talk bullshit for a few pages.

[motion]

Usually I just go off and have a wank. Simplest and most enjoyable way I suppose.

[Monopolyman]

First of all, that was the best thread title in N-E history.

 

 

Anyways, I used to get erections randomly for no reason, usually when in school listening to my teacher talk about costal erosion and shit like that. I suppose it's just bordem which triggers it off, really.

 

Doesn't happen to me much these days (I mean, not randomly). I manage to keep my penis under control. There is a particularly hot girl I work with, however, which her presence has almost lead to some particularly embarrassing moments.

[Paj!]

Same here. I'm at work and suddenly I can feel one of my trouser legs expanding, so I have to reach in and pull it so it's pointing up. Seems to make the blood go quicker. Plus people can't see it when you're walking.

 

Oh my god, story of my life.

 

It's actually not as bad as it used to be nowadays, but still.

 

(If I'm wearing a hoodie/long t-shirt, I can tuck it under the elastic of my briefs. Seems to, like you said, let it down quicker.)

 

I can't beleive I'm telling everyone this.

[Dan_Dare]

I honestly don't know if there's any way to deal with it. I'm pretty sure it's to do with sitting down, idle thoughts and bloodflow. my only solution is to try and arrange your love sword in to a position nobody will notice it and try and sneaka walk in. it gets you flowing again nad you'll be clear in seconds.

[Guest Stefkov]

I'm sure I read somewhere one day that a man thinks abut sex every 7 seconds or something.

Getting erections is also a part of growing up. You get them randomly is what I read.

 

Thread title made me lol.

[Shino]

You need to beat it down more, I used to pop those random ones when I was in the 3rd grade, and in the 5th grade at any girl I saw. After constant exposure to porn, it only rises for some really hardcore shit or at my command. While in the process of taming it, tape it to the leg of his choice (depends if it's a communist or a fascist).

[Oxigen_Waste]

You need to beat it down more, I used to pop those random ones when I was in the 3rd grade, and in the 5th grade at any girl I saw. After constant exposure to porn, it only rises for some really hardcore shit or at my command. While in the process of taming it, tape it to the leg of his choice (depends if it's a communist or a fascist).

 

Fuck no!!! Third Grade? :o

[Shino]

What? 7 year old kids get boners.

[Guest Jordan]

Christ, 7.

 

Anyway, i'm the same as Shino now, unless i see extremely hot hardcore shit or Letty err... doing something. Not much gets me off, i used to get random errections in class the whole time as a kid, but i never get them anymore.

[ReZourceman]

As Jordan said...I only get it on when I see teh hardcore or Let...Claire err...yeah.

 

Actually, I get the odd one on my lunch break when Im walking through town. Pretty crazy because there is FUCK ALL, repeat FUCK ALL I can do. Just hope that folk dont notice teh behemoth.

 

Also @ Pash - Realms ammo FTW.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Usually I just go off and have a wank. Simplest and most enjoyable way I suppose.

Couldn't agree more, but there are those occasions when knocking one out sadly isn't an option ¬_¬

 

Although having putting a wank in the tank before going out on the piss saves some agro. Plus I've started having what I call "Wake-up Wanks" where, if the mood takes me, knock one out before I get out of bed.

my only solution is to try and arrange your love sword in to a position nobody will notice it and try and sneaka walk in. it gets you flowing again nad you'll be clear in seconds.

Love Sword... genius.

 

Position, yes. I always feel that putting your compass pointing North is a smooth remedy.

[chairdriver]

Lol @ this thread.

 

I just do a "brain-train" (a term I came up with myself) where you conciously think about what you are thinking.

 

It's kinda hard to explain, you sort of say what you are thinking to yourself and while you are doing this you are thinking of the next thing you are thinking.

 

Ok, really hard to explain, but it works really easily for me.

[UK]

Just put you hands in your pockets and make them stick out so no-one suspects. I know what you mean, though, mate. It can be very embarrasing.

[Haden]

Im betting that Evil has a juggernaught in his pants just like I do so I will give you some tips.

 

If your juggernaught is waking up wanting to nail some broad to the floor during say class time. Let it wake up and be about for a while then with 10 minutes left in the class say think of harold bisohp jetskining naked hopefully the laughter and the non sexiness wil cause the jaugernaught to begin to fall asleep. If not with 5 mins to go think of stingray from neighbours telling jokes all the blood will rush to your muscles in your arms and want to beat that sukka down.

 

If however it happens during a period where you have to walk you have to be covert. Owners of Juggernaughts cant even hide it with clothing like owners of say ferraris or minis. So basically you have to use the enviorment or better still what you have to hand. If you have a book or something like that just put it in front of the juggernaught as if your carrying it down there anyway. If your juggernaught is pointing in one paticualr direction ready to nuke a precise location walk on the other side and use the enviroment to hide.

 

Thats enough for todays lesson. I hope this vaguley helps as for the other problem i literlaly have no idea i thought u were just taking the mick out of ginger people!

[Ellmeister]

Someone once told me this story about a story or something he read (apparently) on the internet about a dude who was so obsessed with wanking, he cut the holes in his pockets so he could stick his hands down there whenever he wanted and no-one would suspect a thing. Sounds a bit lame to me.

[UK]

Someone once told me this story about a story or something he read (apparently) on the internet about a dude who was so obsessed with wanking, he cut the holes in his pockets so he could stick his hands down there whenever he wanted and no-one would suspect a thing. Sounds a bit lame to me.

 

LMAO, there these books you can get about real life stories. Like this guy got his two top ribs removed, just so he could suck his own cock. Handy, if a little pointless.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Haden speaks the Truth, I shall try nuking holes in the Earth to have cover to remix my wangs location.

Someone once told me this story about a story or something he read (apparently) on the internet about a dude who was so obsessed with wanking, he cut the holes in his pockets so he could stick his hands down there whenever he wanted and no-one would suspect a thing. Sounds a bit lame to me.

Would have to be some proper slow wanking surely.