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Posted

I really dislike funerals so much. I can't bear to go to them and avoid at as much cost as possible. :(

 

I just want a very small gathering for my immediate family when I die :)

 

I hate how people find it so fucking neccesary to go to funerals here, even people who they really didn't know... its like why.... and how weird northern ireland is in that people are barely cold before they are buried...

 

My uncle died a few years ago, on a Saturday afternoon.. He was buried on the Monday morning... weird.

Posted

My take is that when you're dead, it doesn't matter whether people are at your funeral or if you meant anything, because you're no longer part of the world. Does the happiness/reflection of your relatives of you as a good person once you've passed?

 

^ For me an unforgiving question.

Posted
My take is that when you're dead, it doesn't matter whether people are at your funeral or if you meant anything, because you're no longer part of the world. Does the happiness/reflection of your relatives of you as a good person once you've passed?

 

^ For me an unforgiving question.

 

Could you be a little clearer? I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

Posted (edited)

Well I'm (badly) making the point that when you're dead you have no ties to anyone anymore other than memories - should you care about the organisation of your funeral or worry about people attending? They can't mean anything to you seeing as you're not there to experience them mourning > you aren't part of the world.

It's a romantic idea to think of the nice things people would say, and to see the impact we've had on people, but it's only a romantic thought and not realistic or of any meaningful bearing.

Edited by dwarf
Posted
Well I'm (badly) making the point that when you're dead you have no ties to anyone anymore other than memories - should you care about the organisation of your funeral or worry about people attending? They can't mean anything to you seeing as you're not there to experience them mourning > you aren't part of the world.

It's a romantic idea to think of the nice things people would say, and to see the impact we've had on people, but it's only a romantic thought and not realistic or of any meaningful bearing.

 

I'm still not entirely sure what you're getting at ... Are you trying to argue that people should not have a say in the planning of their own funeral since they're not there to experience it themselves, or ...?

Posted

I think he's saying what I also tried to allude to - why would you care about whether you'll be remembered/how awesome your funeral is/how many people attend, because when it actually happens, it's not like you'll know. Because you're dead.

Posted
I think he's saying what I also tried to allude to - why would you care about whether you'll be remembered/how awesome your funeral is/how many people attend, because when it actually happens, it's not like you'll know. Because you're dead.

 

Obviously we don't care when we're dead, but that doesn't mean we're not curious about it now. Also, I don't see why not being around anymore should prevent us from having wishes for when we're dead. You may not be around anymore, but other people will be, and it's the impact of your life, death and funeral on their lives that you care about.

Posted
Obviously we don't care when we're dead, but that doesn't mean we're not curious about it now. Also, I don't see why not being around anymore should prevent us from having wishes for when we're dead. You may not be around anymore, but other people will be, and it's the impact of your life, death and funeral on their lives that you care about.

 

Ok, good point. But in that case, wouldn't planning your will/making sure your family will be ok afterwards be more productive?

Posted
Ok, good point. But in that case, wouldn't planning your will/making sure your family will be ok afterwards be more productive?

 

Well, of course, but the topic at hand happens to be funerals, not wills and testaments, hence the focus of the dicussion so far. :heh:

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