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flameboy

Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden

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Incredible Final Fantasy style RPG...but with the game being playing in post-apocalyptic world where Basketball is illegal...

 

The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the "B-Ballnacht". Thousands upon thousands of the world's greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the "Verboten Jam"...

 

Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

 

Recently featured on the 1up Show

 

Don't know how long its been around for but everyone should download it from;

 

http://www.gamingw.net/forums/index.php?topic=68488.0

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This game looks, quite frankly, amazing.

 

I mean, the concept is just so thoroughly ridiculous that I can't help but love it. Is Charles Barkley actually doing the voice overs for this?

 

"The Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order.

 

Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million."

 

Just...pure win.

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The only suitable response I can find to this is: lol whut?

 

Just download it and everything will make sense.

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Shame i'm not into gringing RPG's since this game looks fucking amazing :p.

 

Am I right in thinking this is a total FF6 conversion?

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Gaiden literally translates to "Side Story" I think. I don't know where I got that from, but I'm sure it's accurate.

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Bard's right. Gaiden does mean either side story or beginning of a story.

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Having played this game again? I felt it thematically appropriate to revive this thread by copy-pasting from the Gaming Diary Thread... for the sake of comedy you know.

 

Tales of Game's Presents Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa

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This game is the canonical sequel to Space Jam (The movie, not the game), chronicling the tale of the resulting cyberpocalyptic fallout of the playoff between the Looney Tunes & the Monstars; and the destruction of the world after Charles Barkley performed the forbidden dark magickal Chaos Dunk.  Neo New York is a dark and dangerous place, in a world where B-ball is outlawed, everyone has diabetes and Vidcons are the sole form of escapism that survived the Great Purge.  Now, Charles Barkley, forced to re-live the agony of losing his wife & the sport that gave his life purpose, is being hunted down by Michael Jordan and B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S, who seek to kill his only son Hoopz; The One with the ability to restore the power of B-Ball to the world.

This game's premise is absolutely amazing, but you're probably thinking that this is all just some stupid joke; leading up to a tongue-in-cheek punchline... but you would be dead wrong! No.  This game plays its premise completely straight from start to finish and it is S.P.E.C.T.A.C.U.L.A.R!

Each character is surprisingly fleshed out and three dimensional; with as many indentations and grooves as a well crafted B-ball.  The townsfolk are colourful, deranged and exasperatingly memorable; as they fight for survival beneath the dread skies of the cyberpocalypse and its accompanying absurdist scenarios, ranging from a Mafia-like Doctor who surgically alters people into the form of various anime characters & animals, to the harsh treading boot of Square-Enix Goya dooming the unwashed masses to a life of destitution in the face of unchecked corporate greed & malice.

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Well it beats mining for bitcoins I suppose

 

B-ball is a dirty word, spoken only by the few renegade survivors of The Purge with a neo-sheckle or two left in their pocket to spare, but it is here in the power of B-ball that salvation may be sought from Clispaeth.  From the B-ball catacombs, housing the wandering souls of once great Ballers, arises the hope of Balthios; the Octaroon mentor who unites Charles & Hoopz with the Cyberdwarf (now rended into a malformed B-ball); with the help of Vincebot (The once legendary real-life Baller Vince Carter; now reborn in cyborg form).  Together the merry band scour the remains of Neo New York, seeking refuge and answers to the threat of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S; now in posession of The Ultimate B-Ball; and the deranged denizens of Neo New York, Diabetes Island and everything inbetween here and The B-Ball Dimension.

Oh yeah, and the Save Point guy (who is represented as an animate petrol pump), is also a massive weeaboo dweeb.

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Be prepared for a lengthy lecture each time you save!

 

The dialogue is incredibly well written and the plot beats are well paced, genuinely drawing you into this insane world and making you empathise with its plight and those that dwell within it.  Suffice to say, the narrative is genuinely compelling and (without spoiling anything), I am genuinely really sad that the planned sequel appears to be all but dead within the bowels of development hell I really wanted to see where the story would end up leading to... I can't do this anymore! This is just too ridiculous! This game is one of the most fucking hilarious things I have ever seen in my life!  It's that rare combination of amazing ridonkulousness being played absolutely perfectly deadpan straight and I LOVE it!

This game wouldn't be even remotely as funny as it is if the game pitched itself as being in on the joke, but no; it plays everything out 100% serious all the way through, and it makes the whole thing into an absolutely beautiful piece of comedy!

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Everything Charles... absolutely everything

 

This also extends to the presentation itself, as this game comes equipped with a surprisingly well realised world (well, as far as Game Maker will allow the developers anyway) and a surprisingly really good soundtrack! Neo New York really does feel like a high quality indie take on the Midgar-esc setting, complete with oddly compelling music.  No corners are cut... not even when it comes to the absurd amount of asset theft, with sprites, backgrounds and important music moments straight up five-finger-discounted from countless other games.  Real talk, this game makes far better use of Eternity than Blue Dragon ever did...

jesus christ the guy from deep purple sang this

 

The greatest punchline that this game has to offer though? This shitpost of a game is actually, genuinely, no-lie, honestly, truly, actually a really fucking good JRPG in its own right! It is actually one of the best RPGs I've ever played, I'm dead fucking serious!

The game's battle system is actually really fucking good! Clearly inspired by Super Mario RPGs and its many sequels, the game makes use of various action commands to engage your foes with a variety of special moves.  All of these feel satisfying to pull off, both in spite of, and because of, the jank that comes with Game Maker.  The world is also shockingly alive, filled with a myriad of genuinely interesting and well designed sidequests, minigames, QTEs (yes, really), puzzles, and a huge number of branching paths & events that have a genuine impact on the world and the characters within it!  There is a huge amount of unique & hilarious dialogue and tons of secrets to find, making exploration actually worth your while (again, unlike most modern RPGs).  There are even hidden optional dungeons and even a dating simulator in this thing! It's like Undertale before Undertale! This game has NO RIGHT to be anywhere near as good as it is!

It's not a long game either, clocking in at about 5 hours or so on average.  It is paced incredibly well, with absolutely no guff wasting your time (unlike most modern RPGs since the PS1 era and onward); and the difficulty curve is just right.  Even if it had all of the absurdist comedy and fantastic writing stripped out of it? I would still wholeheartedly recommend it to any RPG fan.  It is a genuinely solid RPG, even with its comedy wrapping ripped out of it.

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... the tough get slammed!

 

Married with some genuinely incredibly well written dialogue, a compelling cast of characters and copious amounts of copyright infringement; you have a genuinely engaging & compelling narrative, and one of the funniest video games ever made.  But even more than that? It's a fantastic RPG that is bursting with unique & well designed mechanics, a truly interactive & enchanting world of insanity, great puzzles, level design and pacing.  It is a complete package, wrapped up in the most utterly ridiculous and hilarious premise humanly imaginable.

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Words for us all to live by

 

No, seriously.  If you haven't played this game before? You absolutely MUST! It's brilliant! :D 

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I played this 4 years ago and was howling throughout! Everything about is absurd, and it makes those 5-6 hours fly by! This is the kind of game that sticks with you.

I'll add two things, even the Game Over screen is funny and sugar has never been so terrifying!

  • Haha 1

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