Stickman Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Its been a while, but still i've been busy, so heres a story i've been writing for a while It begins... There was a time... Before the Galactic Federation... Where evil spread like a plague over the universe... These were the times of darkness... And the beginnings of the despicable space pirates... Now days people expect the bounty hunter Samus Aran to stand against them...But there was a time before her... And in that time another hero travelled the vast emptiness of space... Eton Ridley... It was deep into space, where Eton picked up a distress beacon from a Government research station. It was codenamed X, in honour of the workstation where his farther, Eric Ridley who mysteriously vanished along with the entire workforce, one fateful day. He tried to shake off that disturbing long repressed memory and remembered that he was on a mission. As he approached the station, he noticed a large hole in the side of the hull. He decided that it was best to start his investigation here, as every crime begins with a bang. He entered the large hole and was plunged into the darkness inside, the lights from his ship seemed to fade away as he entered, he could here the echos of the creaking remains of the ships docking station. He decided to land, if he could find land, as so not to crash into any unknown obstacles. Finding a suitable landing spot, he climbed out the vehicle, he was clad in a black leather suit, with a black helmet with an orange visor, he turned on his night vision mode inside his helmet and to his shock, he was surrounded by, Space Pirates... The Horrible Truth... He stayed calm, he had defeated more before, but then he was in his element, not there's. He reached for his laser gun, only to be thrown to the floor by a particularly well armed space pirate, he wrestled all he could, but this time he knew he had lost... After surrendering, he was taken to a room, it was grey and grime, with only one single light flickering on the ceiling, he was tossed to the ground yet again, and noticed that there was a single window in the room, it was coated in dirt and blood, but it was still possible to see through, passed the window was yet another dimly lit room, it had a single blood stained operating chair, with one unconscious person lying on it, blood was all over the dead like victim, as if he had been torn open, there the person lay... for several minutes, it was clear that he had been there for several hours, the blood had completely soaked into the mans torn lab clothing, he must have been a researcher here Eton though. Suddenly the body violently shook, the mans eyes still shut tight, it shook again, this time it irrupted in blood, like a fountain gushing out of a geyser. Now as it shook, more violently and more frequently, the body began to change, with each shake, his arms became more muscular, his face twisted horrifically, blood dripping out of it like a sponge being drained of its liquid contents. This terrifying process went on for ten nauseating minutes, and yet the man did not wake... it was at this point that Eton discovered what was happening, this man was mutating into one of the very creatures that had brought him here, a space pirate. Suddenly, the mans eyes shot open, he irrupted into a blood curdling scream, one that would haunt any human being all of there life. And exploded in a flurry of blood, as the rain of blood and human organs began to settle, the former man could be seen, standing now in the form of a space pirate, he was led out of the room by a now blood soaked space pirate grunt, the process was complete... The Room Eton stared in horror, but had little time to contemplate, he was grabbed by 2 space pirates, and brought into the room. The room reeked of human flesh and blood. The floor was covered in puddles of crimson red liquid, Eton was dragged through them, his feet and legs drenched in the blood of victims past. He was thrown onto the chair, and strapped tightly. He struggled with all his might, but it was no use, he was trapped, a space pirate, carrying a menacing tool walked in, it was rusted with blood, and still had human remains dripping off it. He approched the chair, Eton pulled as hard as he could, but he was held down by 2 assistents, he felt the rusty saw like tool tear into his flesh like a knife on butter, he let out a scream of agonizing pain, which echoced across the small room, with its large roof. Blood gushed out, along with other objects, he was in pain. Once the wound was large enough, they dropped the rusted tool on the floor, splashing in a pool of his own blood. The 'operator' was handed a needle, with a large amount of serum in it. He was then handed another sharp and unclean utensil, it was shoved into the open wound like a bullet into a unsuspecting victim. He felt it tear several of his internal organs apart, he could feel himself dying, and he could feel the dark liquid streaming out of the hole, and he could hear it splashing on the floor. Before he could be met with the welcoming grasp of death, the needle was inserted, it released its neon blue liquid into his circulatory system. It was like an electric shock flowing down his blood stream, it healed his internal wounds, but at what cost? Before he could ponder on the disturbing question, he started to shake vilontly, he looked up at the needle, it was only half empty. It was time to take action, he found the strengh within him to kick his legs into the deadly operator, he dropped the needle, onto the grime and blood covered floor. The operator fell onto the chair springing it upwords with incredible speed, the straps snapped, and Eton was catapulted off the chair, and through the window, and into the grimey wall of the waiting room, without a moment to check his wounds, he ran. The escape He ran, blasting through the many space pirate drones along the way, there green blood splashing to the ground like a broken pipe. As he reached his ship, a large commander space pirate landed between him and his vessal. It looked triumphent, like a lion who had just caught its terrified prey. Eton usually tried to just escape, being a keen non-killer to anything but his 'apointments' but he felt a strange erge to just fire at the hideous creature until he was dead, he could not help himself, he fired at the things head, repeativly, and dirtily. Blood rained from the creature onto Eton, but he didn't care. He just fired and fired until the thing was lying motionless on the floor, in a pool of its own, bright green blood. Then Eton walked over him, and into his ship. Launching into the black vastness of space. He started to feel woozy, no doubt a side effect of the large gash in his chest. Which for some strange reason, was not bleeding. He could feel himself lapsing out of consiousness, so he set his ship on auto pilot before he passed out. The destination, earth. In deep water It had been several months since Eton Ridely had been tortured and had flown to earth. And still he had not waked. He had been taken to hospital minutes after being discovered in a heap of his former ship, his wound healed, but with new alien skin covering it. The best men and woman in the Earth Federations medical division had been testing and operating on Eton, trying to discover what had happened, how to reverse it and how to reawaken him. Tests had proved negative for toxins known to the earth database, or any form of sedative used to put him to sleep, or they could work out was that his DNA and appearence was changing, slowly but surely. They needed a breakthrough soon, and then when all hope was lost, seven months after the incident, they sussed it... The Genetic Malfunction Eton awoke, he felt lighter then he last remembered boarding his ship. As if something had been taken away. He raised himself to look at the room he was in, it was clean and advanced, state of the art utensils lay on racks on the walls, there was a large window overlooking the city of London, the place where Big Ben once lay was prodominent in the view, it was in ruins and only one old rusted clock hand remained poking out of the dusty ground. Before he could get up, two people in white lab coats and with matching helmets came in. One with clipboard in hand, the other placed himself on a seat which lay on the bedside. He checked his watch and then took a deep breath and stared at Eton. ''I am sure you want to know what has happened to you, so i'll be breif, you have been infected with a highly advanced serum, which is slowly but surely, mutating you into a unknown alien lifeform'' He was interuppted by the second docter, ''You don't seemed to have had the full dose, so we could still resserect you in your current stage, but in the process we had to remove your heart, letting the new, alien heart to take over'' Eton placed his now trembling hand onto his chest, which had the skin of a space pirate, and could feel the strange pulsations of this new heart. ''You still have time to reverse this process, you need to find the anti-serum, if it exsits and insert it in the exact same place as before, you can see by the scar here''. He pointed to a small dent in the space pirate tissue. Eton removed his hand from his chest and asked ''How long do i have left?'' The doctor looked grim ''43 Hours'' Destination, horror ''You must leave, and find the antidote, quickly before its too late!'' One of the scientists reminded Eton as he suited up in his usual gear, perhaps for the last time. ''I know, thats why i'm leaving!'' He said frustratingly, this new, harsh tone was a new, and alien one to him, perhaps too alien to just be stress induced. ''I will head for their latest target, if i get there before the trail moves on, i might get a chance to get what is needed'' He approched his newly repared ship, and climbed in. ''If i do not return, thank you for everything, doctor...'' He looked nervous as he thought about ''What if he couldn't get it in time?'' ''What if he was doomed to become a space pirate grunt?'' He shurgged off these thoughts, and launched off into the vast inkiness that is known as the universe. Several wasted hours of his precious time passed before he reached his destination, a reaserch center on the corner of the solar system, it was of human origin, like the previous facility invaded. He docked on the now in ruins docking station, it appears that the Pirates had forced entry. This was not a good sign. Eton got out of his craft and scanned for human bio signs using his advanced gadgets, they were low, but not completely diminished, he then scanned for space pirates, he found that number alot more. Holding back a nervous expression, considering what had happened last time, this would not be easy. He opened the door and a hideous site befalled him. Over 20 decaying corpses of former reaserchers lay on the floor, there faces green with mould and disease, the space pirates must have been hungary. Eton turned away from the grotesque scene which lay in his path, the befowlling smell of rotting life had invaded his senses, making him spew his stomach contents onto the ground, he couldn't get rid of the smell, tears streamed from his eyes, both out of hideous odours and complete misery at his slowly worsening prediciment. His terror was short lived as he heard a noise coming from beneath the corpses, something was alive afterall, but whatever it was it was not friendly. The chamber Eton readied his gun, it was charged and aiming at the now submerging monster. It was like nothing he had seen before, like a space pirate gone awry, and by space pirate standerds, that was not good news. The creatures mouth was dripping with crimson red liquid, it had been feasting on the rotting flesh of the dead reaserchers. Eton held back the erge to puke out what was left of his stomache contents and began to fire, that creature roared in pain, and charged for Eton, who avoided the onslaught, by rolling underneath, before he could get up, the creature striked again, this time it was succesful. Eton despretly tried to hold back the snapping, blood dripping fangs of the creature, its fowl breath poisned what little fresh air space he had left. Eton flinched as what remained of the creatures dinner dropped out of his open mouth, and onto his helmet the chunks of flesh and internal organs slid awquidly down his visor onto the floor. Eton could not hold back the creatures hideous mouth any longer, he had to act, and now. He knew that this was a do or die moment, he quickly released one grip of the jaws, and grabbed for his gun, and fired into the creatures mouth. The creature flinched, and let out a scream of pain, Eton, foolishly trying to get away from the creature at the wrong time, had a large gash inflicted on his left arm, by the now lashing out creature. He got up, ignoring the pain, and began to run, to his horror he found the creature in hot pursuit. But to his immence releif, he saw a open containment cell ahead of him, he ran towards it the creature soon behind him, and at the last minute, slid out of the way of the door, the creature fumbling in without realising, and Eton immedietly slammed the door clousure button, he let out a sigh of releif, he was safe for now. He looked into the room, the creature didn't look at all upset, infact he looked delighted, Eton turned his gaze to the corner, and to his absouloute terror he saw a human survivor cowering in the corner, he must have escaped the Space Pirates and hidden in the cell, but now Eton had locked him away with the creature who had just torn apart his co-workers. Eton could not save him, without endangering himself, he turned, cluthching his arm and closing his tear filled eyes as his permenently soiled ears overheard the bloodcurdiling screams of the poor innocent victim, as the screams fadened, he checked his bio scanner, all human life signs had gone. Past Recolections Eton lay on the floor of the docking station, leaning against his ship, clutching his wound still, he had not let go since the escape. His helmet was off, and his eyes were streaming with tears, he had just murdered the last pure human on this station, in the least dignified way possible. How had he got into this mess? How had he come this far into the twisted and dark underbelly of this universe? He found it hard to beleive how many of these worlds revolved around, lie and decit and betrayal. And he had seen it all, he had thought up until recently, now he had realised, he had only scratched the surface. He relinquished grasp of his hand, it hurt no longer, he turned his water soaked eyes to gaze upon this gift from the heavens, only to realise it was a curse, for his hand had become of the same structure of his former chest wound. Like that of a space pirates, he closed his eyes, thinking back to when all this had started. He could remember now, it had all started that fateful day when his mother had been shot in the neck by a lazer gun, he had only been young, nine years had past since then, and still he could not shake off the helplessness he had felt when the perbatrators had pinned him down afterwards, and when they inserted the gun into his cheek, and prepared to press the trigger, he could feel it now, the terror, the agonizing pain, the horror that someone of his own species would do such a barbaric act, but then the police had arrived, they had taken the men down, and were so preocupied with the criminals that they had forgotten about his mums bloated body, only Eton heard her last words, ''Do me proud'' Before shutting her pale eyelids. Eton had layed there clutching her icy cold hands like they were his only savior. Maybe they had been, since then his life had gone down hill. He thought to himself, after all this struggle against the creatures he was now searching for, he had never realised how much the human species was alike them, greedy, barbaric, destructive. Evacuate Immedietly Before Eton could get his sences back together again, he heard a large crash coming from inside the station. Space pirates, he thought. He put his helmet on and charged his gun, running at the same time he shot through the narrow corriders, and reached the scene of the disturbence, before him a group of space pirates were staring blankly at the corner of the room, Eton turned his attention to the scene of the gazing and too his horror saw a large creature crouching in the corner, whatever the Space Pirates had been holding, it had escaped. The thing seemed to be dusting itself off, its large wings flapping off dust and fluids from the containment unit. Eton saw what was coming next, it had readied his claws. He ran to the nearest fixed in object and clung tightly, almost as tight as he had his mothers hand. And almost instantly following, the creature smashed through the wall, leaving a gaping hole in the station. The vacume known as space instantly began to suck out the contents of the room, the creature casually flying off into the darkness. The space pirates despretly tried to keep on there feet but the pull was too strong, they were sucked out and into the vastness of the universe. Eton still clung onto the pipe, somehow it had resisted breaking. He heard a alarm on his watch, the warning EVACUATE IMMEDIETLY came up, followed to his horror by UNLOCKING PRISON SYSTEM FOR EVACUATION he heard the clunks of the locks of the cell doors, he knew there was only one captive there, the creature he had sealed away. He heard the fast paced foot steps of the creature as it fastly approched the vacinity. It ran into view and immedietly was dragged by the vaceum, Eton watched it go, and closed his eyes, little did he know the creature could still reach him. It grabbed his boot, and yanked him off the pipe dislocating one of his shoulders in the process, he let out a scream of pain, one no one would ever hear due to the lack of air outside his helmet. As he shot out the hole, he clung onto what was left of the wall by his one fully functioning hand. The creature was still clinging on, running low on oxygen, it made gestures which appeared to be attempts at roaring. Eton shook him off, losing his boot and leaving a large gash in his foot. He watched the creature swirl into the inky blackness, he sighed, and uncomfetably pressed the emergency ship calling button on his belt. Soon enough the ship soared to the rescue, he let go and climbed into the cockpit. Without a single moment to get a breath, he started the ship in the vauge direction of the creature. Perhaps it would lead him to what he seeked. As if hearing his thoughts, the ships computer brought up a moniter reading WARNING 10:00 till complete mutation. The Dark Secret Eton had been driving for hours, it seemed like days since his departure from the destroyed reaserch station, but still the clock said 6:32 MINUTES TILL COMPLETE MUTATION. He thought about giving up, finding a new target, and searching there, he was halfway through setting co-ordinets, when the creature shot up into the view screen, and before Eton could brace himself, straight through it, the front of the ship was smashed to pieces, the creatures head stuck in it, snapping its jaws furiosly, trying to get Eton into its mouth. Eton could feel the ship spinning out of control, he saw what was left of the warning screen reading :03 till impact, but how soon was that? He didn't have to wait long, he braced himself as the timer reached zero. The ship smacked into the ground at a incredible speed, the side of the ship crumpled half crushing Eton, and shoving the creature out of the front. Eton opened his eyes, his injured arm had been hacked off in the crash, it was laying, in a pool of its own oddly dark coloured blood, his suit was red with the liquid of his internal body, but yet he felt no pain from the amputation, he twisted his head to see that his arm had been replaced, with a space pirates claw, it had begun. He tried to keep calm, unbelting himself and trying to keep upright, his legs had been badly cut in the crash, his suit bottoms were torn and blood soaked. Before he could reclaim his helmet, which had been knocked off during the crash, he slipped and his face fell into his blood soaked cockpit ceiling. He shot up and choked, spitting out the blood which had invaded his mouth. He grabbed his helmet, and placed it on his head, it had been shattered in the crash, his visor was half gone, the computer inside had been destroyed, as he struggled out he found his PDA, it read 00:50 MINUTES TILL COMPLETE MUTATION, he looked up, the creature had been subdued by several space pirates, he knew it now, this was do, or die, this was the end. The End Is Nigh Eton raced towards the Space Pirates, who turned and ran towards Eton, who drawed his gun, he fired at the group of 5, there thick armored shells protecting them throught the brunt of it. Eton leaped into the air and, with a sudden burst of strange instincts and energy, lept onto one of the Pirates, and tryed to rip his head off from its weak post known as the neck, the Space Pirate threw him off, cutting off his right ear in the process. Eton let out a scream of pain, like someone had inserted a drill into his brain, he fell to the ground, rolling around in the rapidly gushing blood, suddenly, the pain went. And the bleeding stopped. He felt his ear, and to his horror found it had changed to resemble a Space Pirates. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, he opened them again, to the sight of the Space Pirate standing before him. ''There is no point struggiling, there is no escape from the serums mighty grasp'' It somehow spoke, and was understood by Eton. ''Hand over the antidote, NOW!!'' Eton yelled in a similar way as the Pirates do, he covered his mouth, not beleiving that had come from his lips. ''Why would we had even bothered making a antidote? Open your eyes soon to be brother, there is no antidote, for this is no disease!'' The Space Pirates laughed together as Eton struggled to comprehend what they had just told him. He could never stop the process? He had been through all this torment, for nothing? He gave out a roar of anger and frustration. But the Space Pirates still laughed. ''Its not too bad, you might even join your father!'' Eton's eyes widened, ''What have you done with him? WHERE IS HE!!!'' He hissed at them getting to his knees, the anger inside him bubbling up quicker than ever. ''Why, my child, he stands before you!'' The Space Pirates let out a triumphent laugh and pointed at the creature who they had just recaught. ''Ridely here, was a early test subject, something inside him caused the gene to mutate, we beleive it was some kind of earth drugs, and caused him to become the thing you see before you.'' They continued to laugh, as Eton's tear soaked eyes filled with rage, if he could not prevent his mutation, he would avenge his farther first. He lept into the air yet again, and shoved his gun down the first Space Pirates throat, and fired. Its head exploded in a shower of blood and brains, but Eton did not care, he went straight onto the next one, and before it could defend itself, Eton smacked it round the head with his new arm and stamped on his throat, which shot out of its neck, and splatted on his wrecked ship, smearing it with purple blood. Before he could attack the next, Ridely broke free of the cage he had been imprisoned in, smacking Eton into a rock, and knocking him out, his last sight was his former dad flying into the heavens. Eton awoke, he felt the back of his head, where he had been hit, it was cold and scaley, like a Space Pirates. He rose up, there was nothing there, no one was there, his ship was gone, all that remained was some debrie and his PDA, he approched it, thinking of how and where the Space Pirates had gone. He checked the time, he had 0:05 minutes left. He threw it to the ground, it shattered into fragments. He stumbled weakly to a small patch of grass with a rock laying esque to the left of the center. He picked up the rock with his new hand, he crushed it into pebbles. His eyes filled with frustration. He lay on the grassy patch, with his head looking up into the sky. After all he had done, he could not stop the mutation, and even more so, he now knew his Farther had suffered the same fate, and it had changed him beyond recognition, and soon Eton would become another blotch on the Universe, in a world coated so much in shadow, to know he would soon become part of it made his stomach churn. He closed his eyes, thinking of how wrong his life had gone, ever since that fateful incident so long ago. He thought of how long he had thought his dad had died in a dignified way, only to discover he had become a hideous beast. Eton, after all this, realized now that no one in this Universe was good forever, in the end, we all turn to darkness. Why we think we are so different from the scum we fight, when we are so similar is beyond belief. Eton opened his eyes, he knew how he could escape his inevibatle mutation. He flexed his clawed, Space Pirate arm, and placed it on the human side of his chest. He raised it, and thurst it into it, his eyes widened in pain, as he could feel himself searching through his insides with horryfying accuracy, he watched the blood stream out of his chest like a river, and felt deeper into himself, and then, he found it. Without another thought, he grabbed ahold of what he had been searching for, and pulled it out. He let out a roar of utter agony, this was the most pain he had, and would ever feel. Struggling to keep his eyes open under the blistering pain, he opened his alien palm to see his slowly beating heart there. He squeezed it tight, it erupted with the blood it contained, the contents smeared against Etons visor and dribbled onto his suit. fealing that he was weakening ,he lay his head once again on the ground, and closed his eyes for the final time. He would finally feel the sweet embrace of death, and the warmth of Hell... Comments would be greatly appriciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcj metroid Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 wow hey you have put a lot of effort into this. it's very good a nice read. Maybe you should put it in general chat though. because creative is deader than the bargain board:) good effort:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Could you fix it? You've just C&P'd it from somewhere, and it makes it very annoying to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted February 26, 2007 Author Share Posted February 26, 2007 I only just noticed that, i'll go fix it now Thanks for the comment Mcj Right, i've revised it for genral reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konfucius Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Wow very gripping storyline. You also managed to put a nice amount of detail in a fast paced and not too long story. Really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bard Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 That must have taken a lot of effort. Very nice and fun to read. The boy has talent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Hehe, thank ye :P I speant a few months finishing it, but yeah it ain't too long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 I've been told repeatedly "show, don't tell" by my lecturers - Instead of saying "he stayed calm" and "he started to feel woozy", why not display how he physically portrays these things? Like "despite all this, his hands refused to tremble", or "his legs began to lose their place in the room as his eyes lost track of the whirl around him", or something? Reader's (apparently) don't like being told exactly how the characters are feeling. It's hard, but try to leave lots to the reader's imagination besides just the basic construction of the universe yuo describe. Let them figure out how the character feels through his behaviour instead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 Oh okay...i do try to do this, but its hard to remember... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bard Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Yup, Emo has a good point there, it's already a great read, but it would make it that little bit better if you just gave a description of what was happening to him physically rather than describing what he was feeling all the time . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saminthehat Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Not bad at all! You've opened a huge possibility of stories about the Metroid Universe-could even become the Halo Universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted March 9, 2007 Author Share Posted March 9, 2007 Yeah? Despite the fact i love Metroid i really hope the 3rd prime will be more Halo-esque Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saminthehat Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Definately Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted March 10, 2007 Author Share Posted March 10, 2007 heh, but i hope its not like my story, then it would be bad :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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